Virgil/Logan | Sanders Sides [One-Shots]

[174] - Alright (Part One)

Here's a fic with the very original idea of virgil being anxious

Warning: anxiety, anxiety attack, one mention of blood from when Virgil bites his cheek, briefly mentions previous anxiety attacks, swearing, soft boys uwu

-- 

Going downstairs at one in the morning to look for his notebook that he might have left there yesterday was maybe not what Logan should be doing at that time of the night, but that wasn't stopping him.

At leat not until he almost stumbled over a dark figure sitting curled up on the floor near the stairs, back to the wall and arms around his knees. It didn't take Logan many seconds to realize who it was, but no matter who it'd been the notebook would have had to wait. Clearly.

He carefully kneeled a bit away from him.

"Virgil?" He was almost sure Virgil must have seen or heard him by now, but Virgil flinched when hearing him and gave him a guarded glare.

"Go away." He said after a moment of silence, going back to staring at nothing.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that Virgil. How are you feeling?" Anyone could tell that the answer to that question was not 'well', but Logan had to ask anyway because he was sure that if he began pointing out to Virgil that he could see his hands shake and how stiff his posture was, as if he'd been sitting there for at least an hour without moving, and hear how unsteady his breathing was, well Logan was sure that that would anger him.

"Fine." Virgil said. Logan was almost offended that Virgil thought that lie would work on him. Anyone could see with ease that Virgil was close to an anxiety attack, or already having one.

"I cannot say I know what you're feeling, but-" Logan began, wanting to tell Virgil that he did not believe him when he said he was 'fine'.

"I wouldn't expect you to know anything about that, since you're emotionless." Virgil muttered and Logan took a deep breath, reminded himself that he should not lose his temper now, not let the bitter tone in Virgil's voice make him respond in a similar manner. This was not the time to reveal that that was a lie, anyway.

"Virgil," Logan said calmly, refraining to reach out and touch him even if there's a chance that the touch would be grounding, because as anxious as Virgil was it might make matters worse instead, "Virgil, I know you're anxious and upset, but please do not turn that against me, it won't do either of us any good. Instead, how about you let me help you." 

Virgil was shivering, tightening his arms over his chest defensively and he said nothing. 

"Would you like a blanket?" He asked, and Virgil gave him a tiny nod that he almost didn't see. He stood up and looked around the room, immediately spotting all the blankets they had on the couch, at least one for them all each, and he went over there and grabbed the nearest one, then going back to Virgil and carefully draping the blanket around him. Virgil pulled it tightly around himself. 

"You can leave now." He said, and Logan wondered how Virgil could think that was even an option. 

"I cannot do that, Virgil. I do not want to leave you like this." Really, how could anyone leave before making sure they'd done what they can to help?

"What do you care? Just leave me alone, I can deal with this myself." He said angrily, pulled at his hood until it hid his whole face, curling in on himself further. Logan was quiet for a moment, thinking over if there was any use in trying to convince Virgil of how much he did care for him, but he decided against it. 

"I know you are very capable of dealing with your anxiety, at most times, but tonight it seems very… heightened. I don't want you to simply suffer through it, I want to help you deal with it." Logan could not understand why Virgil was so very against allowing him to help.