Hilarious Texts And Tales Of The Clone Wars

The Bacon Chat

Anakin: Welcome, to the bacon chat

Fives: What do we do here?

Anakin: Talk about bacon.

Jesse: I love bacon

Hardcase: Me too.

Kix: I'm leaving while I still can

Rex: Definitely should. Just promise me this won't lead to you guys doing something crazy with bacon

Jesse: Promise!

Dogma: Speaking of bacon, who sprinkled bacon bits all over my cupcakes I just made????

Fives: That sounds like the most delicious thing ever

Anakin: Mmm this is as good as hot dog flavored punch!

Tup: That exists?

Jesse: It does now bro

Dogma: You can't just put hot dogs in punch like that!!!!

Fives: Watch us!

Anakin: Guys! Were getting off topic. This chat is about bacon!!!! Not hot dogs!!!

Dogma: It was Hardcase who put bacon bits on everything, wasn't it?

Hardcase: Yeah!!!!!! I'll put some in your chocolate chip cookies too!!!

Dogma: Noooooo

Anakin: So, what's everyone's craziest bacon tale?

Jesse: So once, I was at this fancy party on guard duty and I saw some bacon, so I slid the whole platter down my shirt and ate it on the roof. No one ever knew.

Tup: When I was a shinny, I thought bacon came from pigs like milk comes from cows. So I tried to get bacon from a pig and it ended terribly. I cried in my bunk when I learned the truth. :(

Fives: So once, Echo was like, there's no way I can fill the entire bathroom with bacon, and I was like, yes there is. So I spent the entire day filling the bathroom with bacon. I proved to Echo that I was right. :) Even if I did get grounded from bacon for two months

Jesse: That's torture bro 😥

Echo: First, I said it was illogical to fill a bathroom with bacon, not impossible. And second, what's with the crazy bacon stories? Litterly nothing exciting has happened with it for me except for the time I almost caught the kitchen on fire trying to cook some of it.

Fives: I laughed for 2 years over it

Echo: It wasn't even funny

Dogma: One time, I was cooking bacon when some clankers attacked our base, so I threw a piece of bacon at it and it short circuited or something and died.

Tup: You killed someone with bacon??

Jesse: Bro you a legend.

Hardcase: I flushed 20 pieces of bacon down the toilet then put them in the air ducts so it would rain bacon.

Anakin: That's your craziest story? Ha, that's nothing compared to mine. So, it all started out when I was looking for a job. Someone was like, hey, I'll pay you $1 a day if you where this bacon suit all day and advertise for our bacon. I was like, a free bacon suit??? So I totally took the offer and wore a bacon suit for three weeks. Obi Wan was so embarrassed when we fought General Grevious in it. He was all confused; he just stood there for a full 10 minutes staring while I did the macarena in front of him.

Fives: Man I'm so proud this dude is my General.

Anakin: And then the bacon suit wasn't enough. I needed more. So I planned this heist to rob that bacon joint and steal all the bacon. I got away with it, but they caught a pic of my bacon suit so I had to get rid of it. I threw it in the garbage.