200 Multifandom One Shots

How to dispose of a Stark - Avengers - Team x Tony x Reader

"Guillotine..........?"

"I like your thinking Bruce, but Tony's head is usually so inflated we would never get it in between the upright of the machine..........what about something medieval, and we hang, draw and quarter him......."

"It's a bit bloody, don't you think..........?"

"And the guillotine isn't...........?"

"Touché.............." Bruce replied, as he sat back on this seat.

"What about poison...........?"

"I think poisoning is a little boring. Tony would hate us if we were to dispose of him in such a fashion. No, if we bump him off, it has to be something interesting............"

"What are you two talking about.........?" Clint asked. His brows firmly furrowed, as he made his way into the lab, only having caught the last part of Bruce and (Y/n)'s conversation. The archer looking to the female scientist, as Bruce got up and checked on something.

"Tony ruined one of the experiments that Bruce has been working on for months; and as I saw him getting green around the gills, I thought of something that might take his mind off things...........the most interesting way to dispose of Stark." (Y/n) explained quietly, as Clint took a seat next to her; both knowing that Bruce must be upset at his friend, if he was getting involved in this kind of conversation.

"We could break him on the wheel.........."

"Again with the medieval thing, (Y/n)...........?"

"Well excuse me for reading a book. And we are talking about interesting, and if anyone knew how to make death different, it was the medieval Europeans." (Y/n) noted, as Bruce came back to join them. The room going silent for a moment as the three of them thought.

"What about drowning him in wine............?"

"Oooooooo, I like it, Clint. Just like George of Clarence, who was supposedly immersion in a vat of Malmsey wine.......But.........." The two men turning to look at her.

"This is Tony we are talking about.......he would probably be able to drink the barrel dry, and ask for another........" Clint and Bruce having to admit that she had a point.

"Is this a private party, or can anyone join.........?" The trio in the room, turning to see Sam poking his head around the door.

"We are just trying to come up with the most interesting way to dispose of Tony........"

"Oh, I want in on this............" Sam interrupted (Y/n), as he came to join them.

"We could drop him from a height........."

"I said interesting, Sam..........."

"Well, excuse me for trying........."

"You are excused............" (Y/n) grinned, as Sam rolled his eyes.

"If we are going to dispose of Tony, it has to be something different. And as Bruce keeps saying my medieval ideas are too bloody.........."

"Death by a thousand cuts........" Clint suddenly suggested, all eyes turning to him.

"It will still give him time to talk though.........." Sam noted. Everyone agreeing that for such a thing, the billionaire would have to be gagged.

"We could take some influence from Thor and Loki and do the Viking blood eagle.............."

"Again, with the gore......what is wrong with you........?" Sam said, as he looked at (Y/n).

"I have a flare for the dramatic, what can I say. And it's better than your one boring suggestion." (Y/n) retorted. Sam just shaking his head, as they all went back to thinking.

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"We could tie him to a train track in front of an oncoming train........" Steve remarked. His suggestion seeming to cause some amusement.

As they had been thinking, Bucky and then Steve had come to join the discussion. It obvious that Tony had been annoying the captain more than usual, if he was joining in with the others like this.

"Sounds like you watched to many silent movies, Cap. I can just imagine you as the villain, twirling his moustache and laughing as the fair damsel Tony, squirmed on the train tracks, and called out for his hero to save him......" The group looking at one another before they all called out one name....... "Rhodey", before they stared to laugh.

"We could of course do the worst thing possible.........."

"Oh jeez, not more medieval torture........."

"I actually like (Y/n)'s suggestions.........."

"Thank you, Buck." (Y/n) said, smiling broadly at the sargent as Sam just shook his head.

"And no, I wasn't going to suggest anything gory. I was just going to say that we take his coffee and blueberries off him and see how long he lasts..........."

"How long who lasts.........?" A new voice came. Everyone turning to see Tony stood in the doorway, with his arms crossed over his chest. (Y/n) smiling, as the others muttered their excuses and quickly left the labs. Even Bruce finding other things to do, as the billionaire made his way into the room, popping blueberries into his mouth.

"And what are you up to........?" Tony continued, as he came to stand next to the beautiful scientist.

"Oh, you know, nothing much. Just discussing ways to get rid of a certain billionaire, to take Bruce's mind off you ruining his experiment........"

"Was their anything interesting........?" He continued, as he took a seat next to her.

"Well, Clint thought about drowning you in a vat of wine; Buck mentioned something about keelhauling you, which I thought was quite interesting, and Steve wanted to tie you to some tracks, in front of a speeding train............"

"And let me guess, you went the medieval route........"

"Not just medieval, thank you. I did mention smothering your naked body in chum and using you as shark bate, which was something that Clint and Bucky seemed to approve of............." (Y/n) chuckled, as Tony lay his hand on her cheek.

"You know, I am glad that you're on my side, sweetheart. If you come up with all that and you love me; I hate to think of what you would imagine if you didn't.........."

"Oh, you don't want to know, Stark........" (Y/n) chuckled, closing her eyes as Tony leant in for a kiss.

"Though talking about smothering my naked body has made me think of something....." Tony continued, as he whispered something in her ear. The billionaire pulling her to her feet as she nodded her head, before making his way to the door with her close behind. (Y/n) sure that if there was one way to die, the suggestion that Tony had just made, would definitely be the most fun; and she was all for trying it.