Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 209: Thursday 23rd March 2017 23:30

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Day 209
Thursday 23rd March 2017 23:30

What a stressful day. There's so much going on! Troy pretending to be straight, Trudy in the medical section, Esther throwing her weight around, TJ avoiding the possibility that he might be Trudy's baby's Father and the mystery around Mike's "death."

I heard Ronald's morning announcement on the way to work. He told everyone that Trudy was in the medical section of the park and that he wished her and her unborn baby a speedy recovery. "I'd like to take this opportunity to provide some clarification on the new and updated security arrangements. Some of you may know that two of my soldiers who were patrolling the wall nearby were informed of Trudy's situation and that they did not leave their post to assist. The new security procedures clearly state that soldiers should only leave their posts when they are handing over to another soldier, when they receive a direct order from me or a sergeant, or if there is clear evidence of an emergency. Sadly there was no clear evidence of any such emergency in this particular example, meaning the soldiers could not abandon their post, however the soldiers did radio through to the medical section and also informed other soldiers to investigate and respond. Once soldiers had arrived on the scene, Trudy had already been taken to the medical section by a friend where she received and continues to receive medical attention. The new security procedures will remain unchanged." What an absolute a*sehole, I thought to myself. This man is one of the most unbearable and arrogant pr*cks I've ever met. Saying that soldiers can only leave their post if they actually see an emergency is stupid. This holiday park is massive. If soldiers are on the wall they won't see what's going on in the centre of the park unless they've got super strong binoculars. Ridiculous!

Work was the usual drama. Auntie Meryl turned up complaining that I still hadn't spoken to the dentist about her toothache. There's so much going on that her toothache didn't seem that important. She also moaned about Esther taking her little heater away. This was news to me. Apparently, Esther told Auntie Meryl that because I had taken the heater without filling in the appropriate risk assessment form or asking permission, she'd decided to take it back. What a b*tch! This really annoyed me. I stood up and stormed down the corridor into Esther's office, where she was sat at her desk doing some paperwork. "Excuse me," she said in outrage, "You can't just barge in. What do you think you're doing?" "Did you take my Auntie Meryl's heater back?" I asked. "Yes I did," said Esther, casually, "I told you, you didn't ask permission or complete the correct paperwork. You can't just take things without asking." "You took the heater back without asking!" I snapped. "Well, it wasn't taken from the stores in the correct manner in the first place," said Esther. "My God," I said, "You're such a bureaucratic jobsworth." "Luke, I've told you," said Esther, "If you want a heater, the correct paperwork needs to be filled out. No paperwork, no heater, It's as simple as that." I felt dismissed by Esther and she was really starting to p*ss me off. I saw a small heater in the corner of Esther's office. "OK," I said, "Fine." I walked up to the heater, wrapped the cord round it and picked it up. "Erm, what do you think you're doing?" said Esther. "Well," I said, "If you've taken my Auntie Meryl's heater. I'll take yours." "Put that back," said Esther, "That's mine." "You're not using it," I said. "It's still mine whether I'm using it or not," said Esther. "Yes, but have you filled in the proper paperwork and completed a detailed risk assessment?" I sarcastically asked. "Oh shut up," said Esther, "That's none of your business. Put it down." "No, sorry Esther," I said, "I'll happily return this when you can show me that you practice what you preach and prove that you've completed a risk assessment." "You're not taking that heater out of here," said Esther. "Watch me," I said. I started to leave but Esther blocked my exit. I told her to move and she grabbed one end of the heater and tried to take it from me. We started arguing and tussling with each other as we continued to fight over the appliance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw TJ outside walking down the street. I really needed to speak to him about all the stuff that's going on. I allowed Esther to take the heater. "There!" I loudly said, feeling p*ssed off, "You can have it, but I'm telling you this isn't over."