Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 318: Monday 10th July 2017 23:31

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Day 318
Monday 10th July 2017 23:31

We're back at Dumpville!

When the three of us woke up on the yacht this morning we agreed to put the drama of the past few days behind us and focus on getting back to Dumpville. We argued a bit but Mike produced an A-Z road map of England that he said he found in one of the kitchen drawers. "We just need to find a car and we can make our way back to Dumpville using the road map," he said. "Are you stupid?" said a patronising Dump, "We're in a boat; we can just follow the coast round until we get back to the beach." There was a bit of a pause. "He has got a point, Mike, to be fair," I said, "It'll be safer for us to sail around the coast." "Yes but it'll be quicker for us to drive there," said Mike. "Yeah, unless we come across a group of infected, which is a very real possibility," said Dump. The pair of them continued to bicker and it very quickly looked like it was going to turn into a very heated argument. "Shut up!" I said feeling frustrated, "Standing here arguing with each other isn't going to help. Now one of us wants to travel via boat and one of us wants to travel via car so I will have the deciding vote. I think we should go by boat." Mike looked really shocked and quite offended and upset. "Mike, don't look like that," I said, "I want us all to get back there. It'll take us ages to find a car, break in and get it started. We're already here in a boat." Dump looked very smug and Mike stormed off in a huff to the other side of the boat. "Oh Mike, come on!" I loudly called after him. I clocked Dump's self-righteous expression. "Wipe that look off your face," I said, "You're not helping."

Dump steered us round the coast of England and as he did I spoke to Mike. He looked really p*ssed off with me. He was sat with his arms crossed like a moody teenager. "Come on, Mike," I said, "Don't be like that. We can't agree all of the time." "Why not?" asked Mike. "Well it's just not possible," I said, "People don't always agree. Even people who have been friends for years don't always agree. People can't always agree." "Yeah but you don't always have to agree with that wood primer coloured c* ck," said Mike. "I don't ALWAYS agree with him," I exclaimed, "What are you saying that for?" "I just want us to get back really quickly," said Mike. "So do I" I said. "So why are you agreeing with Ronald?" asked Mike, "It'll take us ages to get back to Dumpville on this bl**dy boat." "OK," I said, "It might take us A BIT longer than it would in car, but like I said, it'll be safer. I'd rather spend a few extra hours on this boat than spend time on dry land running for my life being chased by infected." "But I'll keep you safe," said Mike. "Yeah, I know," I said, "But I don't want to be in a situation where you feel you've got to keep me safe." "Whenever I'm with you I always want to keep you safe," said Mike. "Well that's nice," I said, "But I don't want to be a burden to you." "What are you talking about?" asked Mike, "You're my best friend in the whole wide world. How could you ever be a burden?" "Mike," I said, "I remember what you're like when you're out there with the infected. You turn into this wild, overly enthusiastic, infected hunter who thinks he's indestructible. It's like you hate all the infected and you're prepared to risk your life to kill them all." "The infected don't scare me," said Mike. "I know," I said, "But I suppose they scare me. I want us to get back to Dumpville in one piece and I think there's a better chance of us BOTH getting back to Dumpville in one piece if we stay on this boat." Mike smiled. "So, it's like you don't want anything bad happening to me?" said Mike. "Well, yeah," I said, "That's why I got you out of Hilary's chateau and that's why I want you to stay on this boat with me." Mike's smiled even more, stood up and gave me one of his tight hugs. "I love you," he said, "I suppose it still feels weird to have people in my life who really care about me." I asked Mike to let go of me as I could feel my lips turning blue.

A few hours later we saw the beach that led to Dumpville. The three of us looked ahead expressions of great joy on our faces. A huge sense of relief came over me, however my feeling of reassurance was quickly replaced by one of anxiety. I had no idea if Naomi and the others were still at Dumpville and what the Hell would they be thinking when they saw me returning with Mike and Dump. As the boat approached the beach I told Mike and Dump to follow my lead and let me do the talking. Dump wasn't happy. "This is my place," he firmly said, "I'm in charge." "Not anymore you're not," I said. "Shut it Zippy," Mike said to Dump, "Do as Luke says. He knows what he's doing."