Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 231: Friday 14th April 2017 22:29

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Day 231
Friday 14th April 2017 22:29

It's been a day filled with curiosity.

DeShawn told me and Naomi that he'd been cleaning Dump's house and managed to look around. "There's a secret room behind his office," said DeShawn, "I didn't get a chance to have a proper look inside but one thing I know for sure is that there's a rifle and a shotgun in there." "Weapons!" exclaimed Naomi, "So much for firearms not being allowed. One rule for him, another for the rest of us." DeShawn told us he found a note in Ronald's desk. "Well it was more of a list really," said DeShawn. "A list of what?" I asked. "Names," said DeShawn. "Who's names?" I asked. This felt weird.  DeShawn says he made a copy of the note. He produced it from his pocket and handed it to me. I looked down, and a chill ran down my back. The names on the note were listed in the following order: Hank, Imran, Luke H, Lesley, Mandy, Mike and Millie. "I don't know who Hank is," I said, "But they're the names of everyone who's left Dumpville. Why would Dump keep a list like this?" "Maybe he just wants to know whose left," said Naomi, "But it does feel a bit weird." "It feels very weird," said DeShawn, "I've got a feeling that something's not right round here." Naomi noticed that all of the names on the list had a tick next to them, excluding Mike's, which had a question mark after it. DeShawn asked us what we thought it could mean. "It's obvious," I said, "All of these names are people that Dump knows has left Dumpville. He doesn't know what went on with Mike. I think this is Dump saying he doesn't know where Mike is or if he's dead or alive. This is the proof we need." "Calm down," said Naomi, "I want to prove to everyone that Humpty Dumpty isn't all he seems but we can't say this is proof. This list could mean anything. We talked about the list for a few moments longer and decided that we'd get friendly with some of the other residents and try and find things out. "Since we got here we haven't made as much of an effort as we could have done to get to know everyone," said Naomi, "Maybe it's time we tried harder and did some digging." "Good idea," said DeShawn, "We can ask about Luke and Imran and try and find out who this Hank is." So the plan is that we do some digging. OK, I'm alright with that, but even if, or when we find out who Hank is, then what? We need to get more evidence to prove that Dump is a liar.

I saw Troy and Benjamin earlier on. They were both very upset. Dump has apparently told them to consider how their "homosexual behaviour" affects others. Benjamin was casually saying what a pr*ck Dump was and that he'd do whatever he want. Troy on the other hand was having a huge hysterical b*tch fit. "Who, in the name of Kylie Minogue, does he think he is?!" he ranted, "He's one big, fat, f*cking horrible homophobic orangutan. I mean, Luke, I thought you were a walking fashion disaster but he is something else! Have you seen the state of him?!  He looks like he's been tangoed. Tangerine tinted tosspot. If I want to hold hands with my boyfriend in the street, I will! If I want to kiss my boyfriend in the street, I will! If I want to bend over and let me boyfriend f*ck me hard up the arse, I will!" "I think you might be going a bit too far on that last bit," I said. "It's discrimination and prejudice," said Troy, "That's what it is!" "Why are you acting so surprised?" I asked, "You know what a wanker he is. I've been telling you for ages. He makes gay guys and black guys do cleaning and makes the women look after kids and do kitchen work." "All except Esther," said Benjamin, "Mind you, I'm not sure she's a woman." "Well we're going to give each other one massive snog tomorrow," says Troy, "And I'll make sure we do it in front of that David Dickinson lookalike." I encouraged Troy to think before he acted but it looks like tomorrow's going to be interesting. This might help get Troy and Benjamin to see things the way Naomi, DeShawn and I do.

Tina still isn't answering the door and she still hasn't left the house. I know she's in there but her ignoring us is getting to be really annoying. I know she's upset that her big gay husband has run off with someone but locking herself away and ignoring us for this long is stupid.