Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 321: Thursday 13th July 2017 23:06

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Day 321
Thursday 13th July 2017 23:06

I'm writing my diary in a little rundown cottage.

The day started with Naomi, Mike, TJ, Dump and I getting ready to leave Dumpville and drive to the car plant. We radioed Anne on the walkie talkie but she wasn't replying. "Anne, this is Luke," I said, "I know you can hear me and I know you don't want to talk so just listen. I know that when you last met me I lied to you about me being a soldier but I hope you'll understand why I had to do that. Me and some people are going to come to the car plant. We hope you'll let us in. We don't want to cause any trouble, we just want to talk about our current situation and see if we can find a solution that we're all happy with. We'll be with you as soon as we can." "Check out Nelson Mandela," said TJ. "Right," I assertively said, "Let's do this."

We all gathered our weapons and packed some food, water and supplies. I was reunited with my sword and my knush which was quite nice. As we all gathered at the main entrance to Dumpville everyone came to say bye to us. "So what's going on?" asked Auntie Meryl asked me, "Where are you going now? You're not off to France again are you? You should let me give you my Nectar Card, I could do with the points." "We're going to get Seth back," I said. "Who's Seth?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Naomi's husband," I said. "Who's Naomi?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Oh just come here," I said. I gave her a hug and a kiss. "What are you getting all emotional for?" asked Auntie Meryl, "Are you dying?" "If all goes well we'll be back later on," I said, "But Trudy's got the walkie talkie so we'll keep in touch." "Who's got what?" asked Auntie Meryl. I rolled my eyes. "Look after yourself," said Mia, interrupting, "You've only just got back, we don't want you disappearing for weeks again do we?" Mike put his arm around me. "Don't worry, Mia," he said, "I won't let anything bad happen to him." Mia looked a bit uneasy at how close Mike was to me. "Well I hope you all get back safe and sound," said Mia, "Don't let those cannibal people eat you. Would it help if I gave you my clunge?" "Err . . . no," I said, "I don't think your clunge will help in this situation but thanks anyway." We all said our goodbyes and I noticed Destiny avoiding eye contact with Dump who was giving TJ daggers. We got in the jeep, opened the gates and we drove off.

We'd been on the road a few minutes and Dump started winding up TJ. "You know, Destiny might be a bit stupid," said Dump, "But she's alright in the sack isn't she?" TJ looked angry. "Ignore him," I said to TJ, "He's just trying to wind you up. Don't let him." "I mean I know she's as thick as sh*t," said Dump, "But she's got a nice little snatch on her. It's not as tight as it used to be but it still does the job." "Shut up," said Naomi, who was trying to focus on driving. "And she gives amazing blow jobs," said Dump, "There might not be anything interesting or intelligent that comes out of her mouth when she opens it but it's pretty good at sucking a c*ck." "How would you know?" asked Naomi, "There's more chance of my c*ck getting hard than there is yours." "I love it when you get all feisty," Dump said to Naomi, "I miss you being my PA." "I don't miss it," said Naomi, "Not only did I hate working for you but the job was really hard at times." "Ha," laughed TJ, looking at Dump "Unlike your c*ck which is permanently soft." "I will not be ridiculed by a man who does not take his duties as a father seriously," said Dump, "You have children for God's sake." "At least I can make children," said TJ, "What can you make? A mess of things? You certainly made a mess of your marriage. You're right about Destiny you know. She's great in bed. Amazing. When she's bouncing up and down on my c*ck she screaming how great it is to be with a real man. She's gone from sucking on a cocktail sausage to gobbling on a meaty savaloy." "I cannot listen to this sh*t all the way to the car plant," Naomi said. "Are you really going to sit there and talk to me about how I have made a mess of things?" Dump asked TJ, "You've made such a mess of things Trudy wants you to have nothing to do with your children, and your own brother tried to kill you. What a joke." TJ frowned in anger and looked like he was about to punch Dump. "Mike," Naomi said from the front, "Punch Dump and knock him out." Before Dump had a chance to respond Mike clenched his first and rapidly propelled his arm back quickly punching Dump in the face and rendering him unconscious. "That's better," said Naomi, "Do you know something, Mike? I think I've missed you more than I realised."