Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 266: Friday 19th May 2017 22:47

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Day 266
Friday 19th May 2017 22:47

The day has gone quick. It's been full of talk about the election and with an unexpected turn of events in the evening that put a smile on my face.

John has been put in charge of overseeing the election. The candidates are me, Mia, Dump and Esther. I should have known Esther would have put herself forward. John sat the four of us round a table and we all talked about the election process. We're going to have a few days canvasing and then the big decision's going to be made sometime early next week. It's quite exciting. I'm really getting into this. I've never been very political but I'm enjoying the thrilling vibe of the political discussions and the possibility of becoming leader. Dump was very arrogant. "This is a waste of time," he said, "No one around here will want anyone other than me to be the leader." "I'm not so sure about that," said Esther, assertively, "Under your leadership there's been chaos, fear, unrest and death. I think it's time for someone new to take the reins and as I have worked for the Army and have significant management experience I am a natural candidate." Dump laughed. "A woman?!" he exclaimed, "A woman can't run a place like this. Your sort might be OK cleaning kitchens, baking cakes and maybe even telling people when they need to fix pipes but when it comes to running a community like this, you're dreaming." "That sounds like sexism to me," said Esther, "And in a civilised society there are laws that prevent discrimination based on sexism and I think there are dozens of women around here who would be interested in responding to your views." Dump frowned. "You need to watch your tone, little lady," said Dump, "I am still in charge around here." "For now," said Esther. "OK," said John, "Let's all just calm down." John explained the process and suggested that we hold Q&A sessions in Triton's and go around canvassing for votes. "Canvassing?" questioned Mia, "What's that?" "Canvassing," said John, "It's where you go around showing people what you believe in. Canvassing. You might need to come up with a manifesto first." "That's a cocktail isn't it?" asked Mia. Dump laughed. "This is pathetic," he said, "This will be the easiest win in political history. Look who I'm up against; Eva Braun, Paris Hilton and Mr Bean." "Are they in the election to be leader too?" asked an excited Mia, "Oh I'd vote Paris Hilton. I bet she'd be great as leader." "I think we should avoid personal insults," said John, "Let's just get back to the process." John continued explaining how he would be in charge of the process and how he would count the votes. He reassured us that he would be fair and that he would remain impartial. I hope he does.

I spent most of the day at home making a plan and writing down my ideas on how I could get votes. As I was scribbling, there was a knock at the door. It was Naomi. She said she'd heard about me going up against Dump and wanted to help. She came into my living room and sat down. "Look," she said, "I know we're not exactly talking right now, but this is our chance to get rid of Dump and get him replaced by someone half decent, and from all of the candidates in the running, you're the only one who could do a half decent job." I smiled but then I adopted a confused expression. "Hang on," I said, "Is that a compliment or an insult?" "I'm here to help," said Naomi, "You've got to win this thing." "Why don't you go for leader if you're so bothered," I said. "No," said Naomi, "I haven't got the time. I've got Amelia, remember? She has to be my priority. Now come on, let's come up with a plan to make sure you win this thing. I mean, come on, it can't be hard. Mia's lovely but she thinks her approach to work is how she walks up to the building. Dump's an old fashioned, sexist, misogynistic pig and Esther might be good at managing people but I've seen more warmth and personality in one of Amelia's freshly filled nappies, so the only hope for a half decent leader is a man who jumped out of a ball pool and flashed at a load of school kids. It's the best of a bad bunch." "Hang on," I said, "I'm pretty sure that's an insult." "You've got to win," said Naomi, "Mia's not going to get it and I think people have had enough of Dump, but Esther's your potential competition. You can't let Esther become leader. She'll go back to being a nightmare like she was when we were all in the school." "Oh come on," I said, "She's not that bad." "Luke, get a grip," said Naomi, "You might have had a one night fling with her but it doesn't mean she's a lovely person who you have some special bond with. Now come on, let's talk about what we need to do to make sure you become the leader."

The next few hours were spent making notes and writing down ideas that could help me win the election. We came up with allowing cars inside Dumpville, teaching people how to drive, showing people how to use weapons and defend themselves, allowing people to come and go from Dumpville as and when they please and of course changing the name from Dumpville to Warm Town. Naomi also suggested setting up some sort of a council where important decisions are made by a group of people and not just Dump. I'm starting to feel really excited about all this now. I really do think I could win this thing.

As it started to get dark Naomi and I started giggling and sharing a bit of a laugh. I told her I was sorry for what saying what I said about Amelia. She smiled and said she was sorry for saying for what she said about Robbie. "I've missed chatting to you," I said. "Yeah," said Naomi, "I suppose I've missed chatting to you too." Naomi and I hugged each other and when we pulled away I found that we were exchanging awkward but intense looks. We slowly leaned back towards each other and ended up kissing. It was so nice, but sadly it only lasted for a couple of seconds. Naomi quickly stood up and started shaking her head. "Oh God," she said sounding distressed, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It was a mistake. Oh God, what was I thinking? I'm so sorry." Naomi quickly left and while part of me was worried about how she was feeling another (and bigger) part of me was ECSTATIC! I finally got a kiss from her! A KISS! SHE KISSED ME! I've been waiting for this moment for so long. I'm going to talk to her tomorrow. This could be the state of a great relationship, she and I could raise Amelia together, we might end up sharing a bed; we could live together in the same chalet!

What a great day! I've come up with a great plan to knock Dump off his throne and then Naomi and I make up and she snogs me . . . well, kisses me. A really great day!