Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 261: Sunday 14th May 2017 21:05

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Day 261
Sunday 14th May 2017 21:05

Another quiet day. Thankfully this one didn't have any misunderstandings or embarrassing moments regarding w*nking.

Mia asked me what I was going to do about Dump feeling her arse. I told her I'd speak to him but I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say; me talking with him about his 'inappropriate behaviour' wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to. It was certainly going to be uncomfortable but I suppose as complaints manager it's my job to deal with all this sh*t. Maybe I should ask for a different job. "Promise me you'll talk to him about this and tell him to stop," Mia said to me. "I promise I'll talk to him," I said, "I just need a bit of time to decide what I'm going to say. He might be a moron but remember he's still in charge around here." "That doesn't mean he can feel me up whenever he wants," said Mia. "True," I said. "He keeps slapping my bum and rubbing it in a weird way. I'm starting to see what you and Naomi were talking about," said Mia, "He's a creepy man. Maybe someone else should be in charge around Dumpville. Maybe you could be in charge." "Don't be daft," I said. "Why do you think it's daft?" asked Mia. "Look," I said, "I'd rather chew glass than take over from Dump, so just forget about that."

I started flirting with Esther at work today like she did with me yesterday. Unfortunately my attempts to woo her into bed didn't seem to have the same effects on her that her attempts had on me. I stood up and stretched my arms. "Hot in here isn't it?" I said in a seductive tone. I then unbuttoned a few of the buttons on my shirt. Esther looked up and gave me a seriously unaffected stare. She pressed the button on the fan that was placed on the desk and I was blasted with a gust of air. This was obviously her way of getting me to cool down and tell me she wasn't interested. I wasn't going to give up at this point. I moved my swivel chair round to Esther's side of the desk and with a smouldering look on my face and a sexy tone in my voice I looked at her and raised my eyebrows in an amorous way. "Do you think I'm flirting with you?" I asked with a sexy smile on my face. "I think you're make some sort of attempt," said Esther. "Yeah?" I said, "And what's it doing for you?" "Giving me a headache," said Esther, "Now get back to your side of the desk. I'm busy." I swivelled back to my desk feeling frustrated and confused. What exactly are the rules of this thing that me and her have going on? It seems that when I initiate sex she tells me to get lost but that when she initiates sex I'm like a rat up a drainpipe. Next time she tries it on with me I need to be mentally strong and tell her I'm not interested.

Later on in Triton's I saw Dump having a drink. I went up to him and tentatively broached the subject of him slapping Mia's arse. I told him that Mia came to see me and that she asked me to speak to him. "Really?" asked Dump, "What about?" I looked at Dump in absolute silence. I had no idea what to say. I just couldn't find the words. I suppose I felt a bit nervous. "Come on man," said Dump, "Spit it out." I stumbled over my words for a few more minutes and eventually told Dump what I wanted to say. "Well . . ." I said, "Mia . . . has . . . told me . . . there's something . . . she doesn't like," I said. "And what is it she doesn't like?" asked Dump. "Well . . ." I said, "She doesn't like it . . . when you . . . touch . . . her . . . bottom." Dump's facial expression suddenly became very serious. "I'm just the messenger," I said, with a speedy pace, desperately hoping Dump wasn't going to have a go at me, "I mean it's none of my business. I guess it's just my job to deal with complaints. You know, because I'm the complaints officer. Not that it was a complaint. Not a proper complaint. I mean, it was a complaint. Mia did use the word complaint but I wouldn't see it as a complaint. I guess I'd see it as useful and constructive feedback. We all need feedback don't we? I need feedback. Feedback's good. Feedback's important." As I carried on rambling, Dump interrupted me, which I was extremely grateful for. I was making a right hash of this. "Luke," he bluntly said, "Stop talking. I appreciate you are doing your job. This is a job I gave you after all. I have two things to say; firstly, Mia is exaggerating. She's making a mountain out of a molehill. Secondly, while I appreciate you are the complaints manager, I suggest you tell Mia that if she is not happy with my behaviour, she should come and talk to me directly. Then we can sort this whole misunderstanding out."

I saw Mia a few moments ago and told her what Dump had said. "I'm not talking to him!" she exclaimed. "Well I've done what I can," I said, "I told him you weren't happy but he said you were exaggerating and that you needed to speak to him directly." "And that's it?!" exclaimed Mia, "Do you think I'm exaggerating?" "No, I don't," I said, "But Dump's a clever and manipulative man. You need to be careful. Play the game." "What sort of game?" asked Mia, "I can play snakes and ladders." "Not that sort of game," I said, "A mind game." "Like chess?" asked Mia. "Maybe you should talk to Naomi," I said, "She might be able to help you." "Luke, I don't like it when he touched me," said Mia, "At first he convinced me it was playful and a bit of fun but he's started doing it a lot more and in a weird and creepy way. It reminds me of what Hilary did to me." I felt sorry for Mia at this point. I could see where she was coming from. I told her to get some ideas from Naomi about how to broach Dump and to do what she could to stay away from him.