Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 249: Tuesday 2nd May 2017 23:38

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Day 249
Tuesday 2nd May 2017 23:38

Bit of a quiet day today, which made a pleasant change.

I spoke to Dump about him mouthing off in front of Esther last night. "Hang about," he said, "Esther's not your little bedroom buddy is she?" There was a short pause and then Dump burst out laughing. "Oh what am I thinking?" he said, laughing loudly, "As if a good looking feisty woman like Esther would interested in someone like you." My face dropped. Cheeky sod, I thought to myself. I was tempted to tell the mahogany coloured arsehole that I've shagged her more than once and that I was amazing. "Can you imagine it?" laughed Dump, "Someone like Esther interested in a man like you? It's laughable really isn't it? I mean that'd be like Jessica Rabbit shagging Mr Bean." "Yeah OK," I said, "I get the message." I asked Dump why he said all that stuff about me having sex with someone, in front of Esther, when he promised he wouldn't say anything. "Oh I'm sorry, Luke," said Dump, "I just get carried away sometimes." "Just promise me you won't tell anyone else," I said, "I haven't told anyone about your wife gobbling up loads of the food so I don't want you telling anyone about my shag buddy." Dump's face quickly and dramatically changed. He looked very serious and rather unhappy. "Luke," he harshly said, "That sounds like a threat to me and I do not take kindly to threats, as I have told you before." I stumbled around my words for a bit but eventually told Dump that I wanted him to keep my secret like I was keeping his. Dump's facial expression quickly changed from tense and intimidating back to cheery and relaxed. This made me feel quite uncomfortable. I don't know how someone can go from being so intense to so happy in such a short space of time. Big orange psycho! He wouldn't be such a tough guy if he didn't have the sergeants and the soldiers behind him.

I haven't seen much of Esther today. She wasn't in the office when I was so I didn't get a chance to apologise about yesterday's misunderstanding. She must still be in a mood with me. I hope I get a chance to explain soon. I know it sounds a bit shallow but I like the idea of the occasional bit of fun.

People still keep giving me weird looks. I know Dump has tried to smooth things over with Sophie's parents and other people but it hasn't made much of a difference to some people. I really can't stand some of the accusatory stares I'm getting. I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to smooth things over myself. I'll have to have a think. I can't stand the idea of people think I'm a paedo when there is an actual paedo amongst us. I've been thinking about this and the only person I think it could be (if it isn't the vicar) is Dump. God knows how I can prove it. All I can do is hope that Naomi manages to get more information out of Debra and go from there.