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Day 316
Saturday 8th July 2017 21:16Bit of a quiet day. After yesterday's heated confrontation Mike, Dump and I haven't really spoken much to each other.
Mike did speak to me about Esther. It was a bit awkward. "So do you love her?" Mike asked me. "Who? Do you mean Esther?" I asked. Mike nodded. "God, no," I said, "Why would you think that?" "Well I thought you might have sent me away so you could get rid of me and spend all your time with Esther." "No," I said, trying not to laugh. "Are you laughing at me?" asked Mike. "No, Mike," I said, "I'm really not, I just think the idea of me and Esther being al loved up is funny. I can't stand the woman." "If you can't stand her, why were you having sex with her?" asked Mike. "Well you can have sex with someone you don't like you know," I said. Mike looked confused. "Look I know it's weird," I said, "I thought it was weird but we were just two people who enjoyed having sex with each other. She didn't like me as a person and I didn't like her as a person but we liked having sex with each other." "So you don't love her?" asked Mike. "No," I said, "Definitely not." "And you didn't send me away so you could be alone with her?" Mike asked. "Definitely not," I said, "I've told you the reasons I sent you away. Anyway, you should be focusing on what you're going to do when you see your nephews, not on stuff that happened with me and Esther. I don't even know where Esther is. She could be dead for all I know." "I hope she is," said Mike. "Whoa," I said, "That's not very nice. What are you saying that for?" "Sorry," said Mike, "I just don't want her to take you away from me." "Mike, come on," I said, "No one's taking anyone away from anyone. Like I said, we don't even know where Esther is. So stop worrying." "What sort of stuff did you do with her?" asked Mike. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You know," said Mike, "Stuff." Mike proffered his head towards my crotch. "Oh!" I loudly said, realising, "Stuff. Stuff – stuff?" "Yeah," said Mike. "Well, you know," I said, "Sex stuff." "What sort of sex stuff?" asked Mike. "I don't really want to talk about it, Mike," I said. "Did you kiss her?" asked Mike. "Mike, please," I said, "Just forget about Esther. Now, come on, let's focus on getting back home. Don't worry about things that don't need to be worried about." Mike smiled and started to walk off. "Mike," I said, calling after him. He stopped and turned round. "Why did you leave?" I asked him. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Why did you leave Dumpville?" I asked. "Because you wanted me to," said Mike, "You sent me away. You told me to leave." "Yeah, I know," I said, "But why did you?" Mike looked confused. "Why didn't you just tell me to f*ck off?" I asked, "Why didn't you tell me 'no' and refuse to leave. Just because TJ and I told you to leave doesn't mean you had to. You know that, so why did you?" There was a pause. Mike looked a bit taken aback. "It never even crossed your mind did it?" I said, "You never even thought you could turn round and refuse to leave; that you could tell me no." There was another pause. The whole notion seemed something alien to Mike. "And do you know what's weird?" I said, "I never even considered that there could be a chance you'd refuse to leave. I just assumed you'd do as I said. I guess it makes me wonder what that says about our relationship." Mike adopted a childlike expression and shrugged his shoulders. I've been thinking about this all day. Maybe Mike sees me as some sort of parent and after what Dump said the other day maybe I see him as some sort of son. Maybe to him I've replaced his awful Dad and maybe on some level, to me, he's replaced (not that that's the right word to use) Robbie.
Dump says we'll arrive back in England tomorrow. I guess we'll need to plan our next move and I need to think about what I'm going to tell the others when they see me turning up with Mike and Dump, that's if they're still there!
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Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400
HumorLuke Warm (yes his real name!) feels like he's the unluckiest man in the world. Recently divorced, facing redundancy and named after a disappointing temperature he finds himself stuck in a sexual health clinic, with a number of strangers on the day...