Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 245: Friday 28th April 2017 23:39

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Day 245
Friday 28th April 2017 23:39

I've started to have doubts about the vicar, Roger today.

I was on the beach and I saw Mary building sandcastles with some of the kids. It looked like they were all enjoying themselves and Mary was really good with them all. As I glanced over and smiled fondly, I noticed Roger in the distance sat on his own, intensely staring at the kids. It was a bit creepy. In fact it was very bl**dy creepy. The second I noticed this I was convinced that he was the paedophile Debra was talking about. I continued looking over at Roger and he eventually noticed my stare. He jumped back slightly and had a guilty look on his face. It was like I'd caught him doing something he shouldn't. He quickly stood up and made his way back up to the holiday park. Something's not right there.

As I frowned at a retreating Roger, a ball bounced my way and landed at my feet. Mary appeared and collected the ball. "Sorry, Luke," she said with a smile on her face, "These kids are like a pack of wild monkeys sometimes. I think they're just excited to finally be playing on a beach." Mary noticed me looking at Roger as he was making his way up the stairs back to the holiday park. "What are you looking at?" she asked, "Are you starring at Roger?" "Yeah," I said, "What do you know about him?" "What do I know about him?" asked a confused Mary, "Well I know he's a vicar and that he's a very warm, kind and caring man. Why do you ask?" "He was just looking at the kids," I said. "So?" said Mary. "He was looking at them a bit weirdly," I said. "Weirdly?" said Mary, "What do you mean weirdly?" "Well, a bit creepy" I said, "The sort of way a vicar shouldn't really be looking at kids, if you know what I mean." "Luke, that's an awful to say" said Mary, "It sounds like you're insinuating something." "I am!" I exclaimed. "Well don't," said Mary, firmly, "You can't make assumptions and say things like that based on how someone looks at someone." I wanted to tell Mary that my comment was also based on what Debra had told me but I haven't told anyone and I thought it would be best to keep my mouth shut for now. "Why are you so keen to look for problems where there aren't any?" asked Mary, "You've got a suspicious mind. I know Roger. He's a wonderful man and I've seen him with the kids. He's great with them." I asked Mary if she'd spoken to Debra and if she thought Debra might know Roger. "Why would Debra know Roger?" asked Mary, "Why are you even asking that?" "Have you forgotten what she said when she arrived here?" I asked, "She's not happy with one of us and I want to know who." "Just leave it," said Mary, "Why are you so bothered?" "Because one of us has done something awful," I said, "And no one's come forward and owned up so that makes me think someone's got something to hide." "Why is there always a drama with you?" asked Mary, "Oh, that's why you were asking about Roger. You think he's the one who's done something to Debra don't you? Well listen to me Luke Warm, Roger is a kind, compassionate and genuine man. He wouldn't hurt a fly. If you want my advice you'll leave this alone, get on with your life, stop asking questions and stay away from Debra and from Roger." Mary walked back to the kids and I was left wondering why Roger was being so shifty. There's something not right about that guy.

Later on I was having a drink in Triton's, thinking about Roger. If I follow him around for a bit or maybe try and get inside his chalet, I might be able to find something that shows he's the secret paedo. As I was mulling things over TJ came and stood next to me. "What do you want?" I bluntly asked. "Charming," said TJ, "Good evening to you too." I told TJ I had stuff on my mind and wanted to be left alone but he didn't listen. He started telling me about how he is "closing in" on Destiny and that he reckons she'll be bouncing up and down on his c*ck before the end of the week. "I can't believe you find a woman like that attractive," I said. "Course I do," said TJ, "She's got a cracking set of t*ts." "Yeah but that's all she's got going for her," I said, "She's got no intelligence and a dense personality." "Luke, mate," said TJ, "I'm shagging her snatch not her personality." "Lovely," I said, "You keep forgetting that she's a married woman." "So," said TJ, "She might be on a diet but she can still dribble all over the menu. I'm going to get her to do the 'Rusty Trombone' on me." "The what?" I asked, confused. "The 'Rusty Trombone'" repeated TJ, "It's when you stand up and get a bird kneeling down behind you and she licks out your a*sehole while reaching round and wanking you off from the front. Rusty Trombone." "God, you're a proper Prince Charming aren't you? Maybe you should put your energy into getting ready to be a Dad to your soon to be born child." TJ's face dropped and he looked seriously unimpressed with me. "Don't look at me like that, TJ," I said, "You're going to be a Dad soon whether you like it or not." "Well Trudy doesn't want me involved," said TJ. "She didn't say that," I said, "She said you don't have to be involved if you don't want to. She didn't say she didn't want you involved." "Oh f*ck off, Luke," said TJ, "It's none of your business." Destiny then appeared. "Hi boys," she said, "What are we talking about?" We were about to start talking about how Luke's a nosey little f*cker with a c*ck the size of postage stamp," said TJ. "Actually Destiny," I said, "We were just talking about TJ being a Dad. Trudy's going to be having his baby in a few weeks." TJ's face dropped again and he looked angry and shocked. "I didn't know you were going to be a Daddy," Destiny said to TJ, "Did you used to go out with Trudy?" "No," I said, answering for TJ, "They had sex up against a sink in school." "In school?" said Destiny, "She's been pregnant for a long time hasn't she?" "No," I said, "It's when we were in the school that was used as a safety zone last year, not when TJ and Trudy were kids actually in school." "Oh I'd love to be a Mummy," said Destiny, "Me and Ronald would love to have children. It's such a blessing." "Hear that TJ," I said, "Destiny thinks that having children is a blessing." "Did you ever have children, Luke?" Destiny asked me. "Me and my ex-wife never really agreed on that," I said. "He probably couldn't satisfy his wife with his tiny little c*ck," said TJ, "Even with his podgy belly he Wouldn't be able to push it in, getting it to reach where it's supposed to." I frowned at TJ, then turned my head, looked at Destiny and smiled. "Destiny," I said, "Have you ever heard of the 'Rusty Trombone'?" TJ once again adopted a serious expression and stared at me signalling that I should shut up. "Is that like a magic lamp or something?" asked Destiny. "I'll let TJ explain," I said. I then walked off and left them to it. TJ needs to stop behaving like childish teenager and start thinking about being a Dad.

Bed time soon. I haven't seen Debra today. I was thinking of telling Naomi about all the goings on with the secret paedophile. Naomi might be able to talk to Debra and do a better job of getting her to open up. Either way I'm going to see if I can get into Roger's chalet tomorrow and do some digging.