Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 239: Saturday 22nd April 2017 22:53

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Day 239
Saturday 22nd April 2017 22:53

An interesting turn of events occurred today. I spent most of the day in the office desperately trying to catch up on paperwork, apart from when Dump summoned me, Naomi and DeShawn into his office.

As he sat there in his large leather chair, lording it over us, you could feel the sense of annoyance emanating from us. "Well," said Dump, "What have you got to say for yourselves?" There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other to see who, or if, anyone was going to say anything. "So you've really got nothing to say for yourselves?" said Dump, "Well I certainly do have something to say. Now I am going to talk and you are going to listen." Dump told us that it was bad enough when we ran all over Main Street on what he called a "killing spree" but our recent actions had caused him to question our place here at Dumpville. He said our actions were immoral, thoughtless and only caused to create further fear. "I will not have my residents running around waving knives about," said Dump, "Have you any idea how that looks?" "How it looks?" said an annoyed Naomi, "I don't care how it looks, I care about doing what we can to keep people safe, and they aren't YOUR residents. They are their own people." "Now listen here little lady, I think I've had just about enough of your loose tongue." "I've still got freedom of speech," said Naomi, "Or are you going to put that in the rule book too?" "We just want people to be able to defend themselves if they need to," I said, "What's wrong with that?" "They don't need to worry about that," said Dump. "Yes they do!" exclaimed Naomi. "They're not going to be safe behind these walls forever. None of us are." "Why don't you let them decide what they want to do?" asked DeShawn. "Exactly," said Naomi, "I thought you were a leader, not a dictator. Let them make up their own minds." Dump frowned, stood up and aggressively banged his fist on the desk. "Enough!" he shouted, "Now I'm going to make this perfectly clear. I have had enough of you three causing trouble in my Dumpville and I am telling you right now to stop. You're disrupting my routine and I will not stand for anyone disrupting my routine. If you're so keen to run around with knives hacking into things, maybe I should just throw all three of you out so you can chop away at the infected until your heart's content. I told you I wouldn't stand for any nonsense and I won't. If I have any more trouble from you three, you'll be sorry." "What are you going to do?" asked a confrontational Naomi, "Are you really going throw us out or will you get one of your lackeys to do it?" "Maybe I'll convert one of the chalets into a prison and I'll put you all in quarantine," said Dump. "Fine," snapped Naomi, "Do it. I'd rather be locked up than have to see your big bloated ballooned b*stard of a face." This was a shock. I wasn't expecting Naomi to say that. Me and DeShawn gasped and widened our eyes. "How dare you!!" Dump yelled, "You are my PA and I think you should remember who you're talking to." "I know exactly who I'm talking to," snapped Naomi, "I'm talking to you, you big orange arsehole. Oh and as for being your PA. I quit!" "You can't quit," said Dump, "That's not how it works." "It's how it works for me," said Naomi, "Do your own paperwork you part pumpkin pr*ck." Naomi stormed out and Dump told me and DeShawn to have a word with Naomi and calm her down.

I was feeling really angry at Dump but the harsh reality of being quarantined or thrown out, knowing that all those who have left have died made me and DeShawn re-evaluate things. Naomi was blinded by rage. I reminded her that even though Dump was a tw*t, he still had a load of soldiers and six sergeants behind him. "It would be easy for them to quarantine us or throw us out," I said, "And I don't want that. I've got my Auntie to think about and you've got Amelia." "So what do we do?" asked an angry Naomi, "Shut up, do as we're told and toe the line?" "We need to be clever," said DeShawn, "We can't do our infected safety classes but we can talk to other residents and tell them how to stay safe. The more visible and the more public we are, the angrier Dump will be. So let's just think smart and keep it on the down low. What he doesn't know doesn't hurt him." "Well I'm not going back to work for him," said Naomi. "You've got to," I said, "I know it's awful and I know he's a pr*ck but think of Amelia. He'll put you in quarantine and you won't see her. Just think." Naomi didn't look happy but after discussing the matter a bit more she knew we had a point. Dump's clearly capable of anything and even though I hate dancing to his tune I think we need to play a bit of a game.

I spent the rest of the day in my office catching up on paperwork. I was feeling ratty and exhausted when Esther walked in. This was the first time I'd seen her since we started sharing an office. We acknowledged each other but didn't say anything but then I noticed Esther had my clipboard under her arm. "Is that my clipboard?" I asked. "It's A clipboard," said Esther, "It's not yours." "Yes it is," I firmly said, "I can see it's got my paperwork on it. I've been looking for that. I've not able to do things because you took that. Can you leave things alone?" "Luke, this is a shared office," said Esther, "If you don't want me to use something you need to lock it away." "Lock it away?!" I exclaimed, "It had a f*cking note on it. Can't you read?" "Please don't swear" said Esther, "I'm not swearing at you so I don't expect you to swear at me." "Well I don't expect you to move my things when I've left a note saying 'don't move them' so it looks like we've both been surprised." "The clipboard's not yours," said Esther, "If it's that important you should have got here early enough to make sure the clipboard was where you left it." "What?!" I exclaimed, "Are you on mushrooms? You're saying I have to get to the office earlier than planned to make sure my stuff, that had a note with it saying 'don't move' is still in the place I left it and hasn't been moved?" "I've told you," said Esther, "It's a shared office. It's as simple as that." "Fine!" I loudly said, "Absolutely fine!" I started dragging Esther's desk to my side of the office. "What are you doing?" asked Esther. "Well it's a shared office isn't it?" I sarcastically said, "This isn't your desk. It's not your property. If you wanted to use this desk you should have got here earlier to make sure it was where you left it." "I don't think you're funny," said Esther, "In fact I think you're very childish." I walked right up to Esther, with a deep frown on my face. "And I think you're being a bossy control freak," I said. "Well the opinion of a pathetic little man like you really doesn't matter to me," said Esther, "You're an insecure, immature, moaning little boy." "And you're an overbearing, bureaucratic, tyrannical b*tch," I snapped back. The next thing I knew Esther and I were embraced in a full on passionate snog and we were having sex on my desk. I really didn't see that coming and I'm still shocked it happened. After the deed had been done and we started getting dressed, I turned round to Esther, smiled and said "So I can't have been that cr*p in the first place if you came back for more?" Esther turned and gave me an unimpressed stare. "God, you really are a w*nker aren't you?" she said. "Oh is that how you're going to be?" I asked, "Horned up nympho one minute, nasty b*tch the next?" I wanted to know if Esther thought my c*ck was small. I know I'm an insecure sod but after what the Doctor said to me when I had crabs I wanted some reassurance that my c*ck was OK. "Look," I said, "Can I ask you something? Was I OK?" "Oh Luke, shut up," said Esther. "Just answer yes or no," I said, "Am I big down there?" "Well," said Esther, "I suppose I have seen bigger." "But have you seen smaller?" I asked. Esther gave me a pitying smile and tentatively said "No, not really. Sorry." "Yeah well it was enough to make you scream wasn't it?" I said, "I just hope you haven't given me crabs." Esther walked up to me, frowned and pointed. "This never happened," she said with an angry and threatening tone, "It's never going to happen again, don't tell anyone and keep your mouth shut. If I find out you've told anyone, I'll rip off your b*llocks and feed them to Ollie." Message received. I wasn't going to say anything. It's just nice to know that even with a tiny c*ck I can make the ice queen squeal like a pig.

So a very interesting day. I didn't think Esther and I would ever end up having sex again. I know she's said it will never happen again but I'm wondering if it will. She's an absolute bossy cow but I thought the sex was good. Mind you if she ever moves my clipboard again I'm going to p*ss all over her swivel chair.

Still no sign of the sergeants who went out on a run. I'm started to get a bad feeling.