Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man in a Zombie Apocalypse. Days 201-400

Day 233: Sunday 16th April 2017 22:12

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Day 233
Sunday 16th April 2017 22:12

It's been a tense day filled with confrontation and heated arguments.

Dump addressed everyone via the public address system. He sounded very down and not his usual energetic, patronising self. With a dull and depressing tone he simply announced that all work was cancelled today and that we'd be informed of further developments. Is that it?! I thought to myself. No speech about what happened yesterday, no reassuring words of comfort. What a tw*t, I thought. He's in way over his head.

I went to see Troy who was being comforted by Mia. He's really upset, bless him but he's also really angry. He needs someone to blame for what happened. I told him it wasn't anyone's fault and that it was just one of those things. "We were all checking on Tina," I said, "None of us considered that she'd kill herself." "Yeah but why did she kill herself?" asked Troy, "It was because of me leaving her for Benjamin. She was a good person and she didn't deserve to get stabbed in the head like that. If I'd have stayed with her, she wouldn't have killed herself and she and Benjamin would both still be alive." "And Adrian and the others," said Mia. "Yeah, whatever," said Troy, dismissively. "It's all my fault," he continued as he started to sob, "I should have just stayed with Tina." I told Troy that he couldn't have done that because living a married life with Tina and living another life where he's having sex with Benjamin was becoming too much. "So?!" Troy exclaimed, "At least they'd still be alive. It's all my fault." "Troy, it's really not your fault," I said. As Troy wiped away his tears, he looked up and adopted a contemplative expression. "You're right," he calmly said, looking at me, "It's not my fault at all. It's yours!" "Mine?!" I replied. This was a shock. I felt a bit offended but I told myself not to be too harsh on Troy as he was freshly bereaved. "Yes," snapped Troy, standing up and pointing at me, "You were the one who outed me and Benjamin at Millie's wake. You were the one that told everyone about us. If you hadn't have done that Tina would never have killed herself." I felt like I wanted to make a quick response but I was stumped. I suppose Troy had a point. I looked at him and Mia in silence which lingered for a few moments. "I didn't want all this to happen," I said. "But it did," snapped Troy, "I can't believe I snogged the man responsible for Tina and Benny's death. Just f*ck off Luke." I tried to say something but Troy aggressively interrupted me. "JUST F*CK OFF!" he yelled. I looked at Mia, who signalled that it would probably be best if I left.

When I left Troy's I felt a sudden sense of guilt. Maybe all of this was my fault. I spoke to Naomi earlier on. She told me I was being stupid for thinking it's all my fault and that Troy was just lashing out. "He needs someone to blame," I said to Naomi. "Well maybe he should start with himself," said Naomi, "He's the gay guy that got married to a woman to please his bigoted family. Maybe he should blame them too. This was never going to end well." "Yes but I'm the one that blabbed off to everyone about what was going on with him and Benjamin," I said. "True," said Naomi "But it would have all come out sooner or later and Tina would have probably committed suicide then. You just brought forward the inevitable." "Troy's really p*ssed off with me," I said, "I'm worried he's going to tell Dump all of the stuff about Mike." "He's not going to say anything," said Naomi, trying to reassure me, "He's grieving. I'll have a chat with him later. I'll tell him none of this is your fault and I'll make sure he keeps his mouth shut about Mike." "Well it's going to be interesting round here from now on," I said, "Dump's lost his advisor and the only Doctor here." "Hmmm," said Naomi, "I hope Trudy doesn't go into premature labour and that's there no other medical emergencies or we're f*cked. I know Mary knows first aid but she's not a Doctor." We started talking about Dump's lack of leadership yesterday and his inability to respond. "Without the soldiers he's nothing," said Naomi, "He shouldn't be running this place. I'm determined to get some dirt on him." "Things need to change around here," I said, "It's OK keeping the infected out but what about the people already in here. Those sergeants interrogated me for two hours last night." "Me too," said Naomi, "They did the same with DeShawn." DeShawn then appeared and joined us. He said loads of people had been looking at him like they were scared of him. "They're looking at me like some murdering psychopath," he said. Naomi and I looked confused. We then looked over the road to notice other residents walking by, with some giving us disapproving looks, some avoiding eye contact with us and others looking scared. "What's going on?" said a frustrated Naomi, "What's everyone's problem?" "I don't know," I said sounding confused, "Why are they all looking at us like that?" "They've been looking at me like that all morning," said DeShawn, "It's like they're angry and upset with us for what we did yesterday." "Angry and upset?" said Naomi, "We saved their lives." Naomi stood up and called over to the passers-by. "What's your problem?" she yelled, "Have you got something you want to say? Why are you all looking at us like that?!" Naomi sat back down. "I don't get it," she says, "What's up with them?"