common sense • rini/jolivia one shots

wander

this one is a little different! listen to the song while you read this cause it's based on those lyrics. sorry if this one isn't good, i wrote it quickly in the middle of the night while listening to the song on a loop and it's pretty short! hope you like it! the song is called "Wander. Wonder." by The Arcadian Wild.

~~~~~

Nini stares at the mirror in front of her as she attempts to pull at her hair and clothes, somehow trying to make everything better.

i built this hall of mirrors all myself
faces staring back at me look like somebody else

she wanders through the hallways of East High, blending through the crowd. she squeezes between students to try to get to her locker before the bell rings.

she watches from afar as he leans against a pretty blonde girl on a set of lockers, twirling a strand of her hair between his fingers. Nini glances down, upset.

good enough
never good enough

he's everywhere. his brown eyes, his perfectly messy curls, his sweet smile. he was always there, the golden boy. the boy who broke her heart without ever knowing her.

Nini had longed for Ricky Bowen since she could remember meeting the boy in seventh grade when he moved from Chicago. now, 16 year old Nini was heartbroken over a guy she'd never even dated. he didn't even know who she was.

he was always there, in the back of her mind. he was like a drug, something she was addicted to but, at the same time he was like poison, always ruining her.

perfect, you're my poison
i sip on you to wash down the shame

Nini sat on the floor with her back against the foot of her bed, her knees to her chest. the bottle was cold in her hand. she didn't drink often, just when Ricky infected her brain which always happened when she was home alone, her moms working late hours.

the tears poor down her face as she takes another swig of the warm liquid, wincing as it stings her throat.

and though i am hungover in the morning
facedown in the carpet i am safe

she groans when she wakes up the next morning, her nose pressed against the fluffy pink carpet on her floor. dried tears were left on her cheeks, reminding her of everything she didn't have and everything she wanted.

i am always wonderin' what you see

another week of Nini blending in, drifting through the halls as she watches the boy she loves flirt his way through the school.

what if she was prettier? taller? skinnier? would he like her then?

maybe he'd notice her then.

sins and scars you'll never recognize

Ricky puts his head in his hands as he sits on the edge of his bed, breathing deeply.

he can hear the sheets rustle behind him, evidence that the girl laying there was awake. he shakes his head to himself, wondering why the hell he always does this.

he couldn't stop using girls and using himself as an excuse to ignore his problems.

he turns a little and catches his reflection in his mirror before spotting a picture of his parents on his desk. he scoffs a little before falling back into the bed with the girl.

good enough
never good enough

both teens are walking with their heads down in the hall, slowly making their way to their classes. Nini sniffles a little, trying to will the headache away as she was coming off of a hangover. Ricky groans as kids bump into him, still a little bit drunk from his binge the night before while his parents fought.

they look up when they both collide against each other, Nini's eyes widening as she drops her books, Ricky leaning down to help her grab them.

"i'm so sorry." he mumbles.

she smiles softly, "it's okay."

he hands the stack of books to her before standing up, "here ya go Nini. have a good day."

the brunette watches as he walks away, a bright smile on her face at the fact that he knows her name. she's not invisible to him.

perfect, you're my poison
i sip on you to wash down the shame

the music is loud throughout the large house. hundreds of kids pack the rooms as music plays and colorful lights change around the house.

Nini squeezes through the group of people in the hallway to get to the kitchen to grab another drink. she pauses when she sees Ricky standing in the kitchen, alone.

she takes a deep breath before moving beside him, "hi." she says quietly as she pours another cup.

he looks at her, smiling, "oh, hey Nini."

there is silence between the two of them for a minute before she turns to him again, looking up at him, "how do you know who i am?"

he gives her that perfect signature smile, "i've always known who you are Nini." he winks before walking out of the kitchen.

a little dumbfounded, nonetheless, Nini smiles down at her cup.

and though i am hungover in the morning
facedown in the carpet i am safe

Ricky finds himself sitting in a quiet room upstairs in the house while the music still booms from downstairs. the night stars shine bright as he looks out the window. a door opening breaks him from his trance.

"oh! sorry!"

he snaps his head to the door, "Nini? you can come in."

he hears the door close before quiet footsteps follow. he turns to his side when the bed he was sitting on dips a little. her face is illuminated by the moonlight filtering into the room.

"what're you doing in here alone?" Nini asks quietly.

Ricky shrugs, "thinking. i don't know. there's lots of things going on right now. what i would give to just be drinking alone in my own room right this second."

Nini snorts a little and nods, "yeah, i feel that."

"what're you running from?" he asks as he turns to her, referring to their conversation.

she shrugs a little bit, "i guess life in general. people don't really notice me. i'm invisible to everybody here at this party."

his eyes meet hers, "you're not invisible to me. never have been."

"really?" she says surprised.

he nods, "you're perfect Nini, of course i've noticed you."

"i'm far from perfect. you don't know me."

it's quiet between them for a minute before Ricky's hand finds hers on top of the comforter, their fingers linking together slowly.

Ricky shutters out a breath, "i always watch you in the halls and in classes. you're so smart and you've got your life figured out. i'm still wandering around lost."

"you're not lost Ricky. i find it hard to believe you watch me, i'm a nobody compared to you. you're what every girl dreams about."

"including you?" he asks lowly, eyeing her carefully.

she smiles coyly at him, "maybe."

Ricky chuckles and looks down at the cup in his hand, "i'm gonna be hungover tomorrow."

Nini takes the cup from his hand, "maybe it's time to stop drinking."

he shakes his head a little, "it makes me feel safe."

she nudges his shoulder a little, "well, maybe i can make you feel safe instead."

Ricky swore he's never smiled wider in his life, "i'd like that, a lot."