Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

What's Eating Lexin

With permission, I speak with clarity, "Miss Xielle, hasn't Prince Nillin already broken his promise with you? Why stay loyal to him?"

"He hasn't," she turns to face me. "I love him knowing he will marry many wives. Isn't that right, the girl who wishes to marry Master Lexin?"

Carcyne's face is expressionless and stands still beside me.

"If you're done. Please leave. Oh, and tell the next exorcists to not even bother, I won't leave this body even when Master Lexin drugs himself or chains me at night."

Now that I see how stubborn Miss Xielle is, her beauty flies over my head.

Nevertheless, I try once more, "Why would Nillin love you when I'm carrying his only child so far?"

Her eyes widen as if she didn't hear me right. Whereas Caria and Carcyne put their arms in front of me forming a cross.

"You're 'my' Nillin's male wife?" She laughs sarcastically. "You don't hold a single trait of beauty on you!"

I don't feel offended at all because it's true and I know that more than anyone. I am as average as a person can be with no masculine quality.

Xielle gets off the bed and walks toward us.

"A step closer and I don't care if I kill Master Lexin," Caria annonces.

"Wait. Aren't you that girl with Lord Griflet?" Xielle stops and smiles, "Caria? Shouldn't 'you' be protecting 'me'?"

Oh fuck. This is getting complicated.

"Miss Xielle. What I mean is that if I am a male and can get pregnant with Nillin's child, than what are you to him? Nillin is a man who needs many hiers."

For the first time, she is really thinking. Maybe because the way I said it is weird; but it also makes me feel a little more at ease.

Xielle looks at Carcyne, who then answers, "I can't make Master Lexin's body pregnable without his permission just as I can't take you out of his without your consent."

"I-I'm sure I worth more than what I can or be able to give him..."

I really didn't want to go this route but she gives me no choice. I must make her feel so defeated that she gives up.

"What are you?" I begin my resolution to be really mean, "Each person is worth to others of what they can give. It's the law of exchange! How can you expect for anyone (not just Nillin) to give you anything if you, yourself can't even give or do anything for them in return?"

"I-I"

"You lost your body, the beauty that caught his eyes. That was the only thing you got going for you. You're not from a prestigious background that can help you."

"What about you?" Xielle is still not backing down.

What strong will, if only her will was for something else, I would've supported her and perhaps we might even become friends.

"I am the beloved son of a King, the grandson of a Queen. I can give Nillin an heir and I can raise him an army. Furthermore, I am also a skilled warrior taught in the arts of combat."

I don't have anything else, hopefully she buys it.

"For the things I lack (like beauty), I can back up with everything else he might want or need from me 'perfectly'."

Xielle takes in a deep breath and covers her chest with her hands. Her sad figure gives me hope that she'll give in.

She looks up to meet my pretended superior glaze with tearful eyes.

I feel fucking terrible for breaking this poor soul-literally.

"Am I so useless, so worthless to him? Even when I give him all of my heart?"

I stay silent and Caria and Carcyne do too. It is as if we all know too well that silence is the greatest torture for a person of doubts.

"Heaven has separated us, fate torn us apart from soulmate..."

"I beg to at least meet him one last time even as strangers." Her whole body drops onto the bed with never ending broken prayers.

I take this as her consent to being released from Lexin's body, and grabs Caria's and Carcyne's hands to leave the room.

Xielle should have alone time to collect her resolution and accept that she is no longer in this world even if she can communicate with us through Lexin.

And as we close the door, I think I hear her crying, "Why am I so envious of you?"

The next day, we tell Lexin's of Xielle's consent.

Although I may have broke Xielle, I give Lexin relief and freedom. His world seems so much brighter.

"So that was what you said to her," Lexin nods his head like he is impressed. "Why didn't I think of that?"

I chuckle at the thought, "I usually would never break anyone's soul."

"But that's good. I really still want to live since I have yet to accomplish my goals."

"What do you mean?" What does he mean by 'live'?

"That's because... I feel as if she's getting stronger. My sister told me that once in a while, she will wake up regardless of the drugs and figure out the lock combination."

"And then I'll have to change the drug and the lock," Lexin shakes his head in exhaustion.

To be honest, I would be too but...

"I'm just a little curious and you definitely don't have to answer me," I cross my arms and roll my shoulders forward.

"Sure, ask me."

"Why can't she see the world at night? Isn't her only chance to steal glances of this world?"

Lexin averts his eyes suddenly and smile with a deep breath, "Umm."

This reaction lets me know that he doesn't want to talk about it, so I open my mouth to change the topic.

"She wants to get revenge and find a way to have sex with Nillin with my body, and that makes me uncomfortable," Lexin sighs in relief.

"Oh."

"Yes. It has been eating me."