Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

Uncarefulness

The sun has lifted off the horizon and I decide it's a good time to go back.

I follow along the trail Asahi and I took, and now I can finally see all these trees with golden leaves dancing along with the Southern winds.

There are still trails of animals even with this weather and season.

Unfortunately, the twenty minutes walk I recalled turns out much, much longer.

My eyelids are heavy, but Asahi's presence allows me to stay alert.

It feels peaceful and allows my mind to be blank.

As we approach closer to Grandmama, Nien, and Fiona, I am startled by Nien's loud scream of terror.

I take off my coat and warp Asahi in it as I rush to give him off to Grandmama.

"Where's Nien and Fiona?"

Grandmama points toward the tall trees with colorful leaves and mossy floor in unspeakable tears.

I run toward her direction with daggering wind cutting my skin and hair.

Nien's lower half is scorched in blood and black charcoal.

Fiona cries and tries to stop the bleeding.

"Let's get her closer to the supplies," I say in a panic.

"Maeve," Nien grabs onto my hands, "It hurts a lot. Take the pain away."

I just give her my best grin.

I take Nien's upper body and Fiona grabs the damaged legs. We climb the slightly steep slope to where Grandmama and Asahi is.

"Fiona, get the water and cloths, and start cleaning the wounds!"

I suddenly recall the marigold I brought for seasonings.

At the corner of my eyes, I see Grandmama and Asahi crying and hovering above Fiona and Nien.

After a few moments, I found the marigold and grind it up with the fresh plantains that grows near the moss.

I give the paste to Fiona to apply it on Nien's burns; then I grind some more. After I run out of marigold, I just use the plantains.

It is already noon when Nien is fully wrapped up and resting. Grandmama also takes a rest beside her granddaughter.

The rest of us sit around the campfire as Fiona makes brunch and I breastfeed Asahi.

"How did it happen? I didn't see any fire," my throat is dry and makes me sound more husky than usual

"The moss explodes," Fiona explains. "Didn't you hear it?"

"Sorry, we were far and I only heard the sea behind me since the wind was coming from the South," I reply softly trying to lubricate my throat.

"I see. Thank you for knowing your medical herbs," Fiona's hands are trembling as they turn the kabob potatoes.

She stays quiet avoiding my gaze.

"Nien will be okay," I try to comfort her.

"What if I carry Nien back North? I can get my brother to help her." Her hands still tremble and she drops one of the kabob into the charcoal ashes. "Sorry. I'll make another one."

"We all can go back," I say. "There's no point in staying anymore. Nien needs urgent medical attention."

"No. We can't all go back. Nien will hate herself forever if she learns that she will lose her last chance to redeem herself because of this..."

"But you just suggested—"

"I know what I said!" Fiona covers her face with her hands. "I was being selfish, okay? I—I... I don't know what I should do anymore, My Queen."

"The world is fighting me. I can't lose, but I don't have any more cards to stay in the game," I can hear the knot in her throat getting tighter with each of her words.

In this instant, I found a younger me in Fiona. Although I can't say I have more cards, I know that feeling of failure when trying to appease everyone including myself.

I look over to Nien's bandaged legs and think to myself, 'we barely had enough bandages.'

"Let's decide to believe in Nien." Words just escape my mouth as I recall about Trieu's last words to me when I was in Fiona's position.

Fiona wipes her tears on her tights and turns the kabob potatoes, "These ones are ready."

She hands me a kabob and eats one herself.

"I wish that I at least can bear the children of my love one," Fiona begins opening herself to me. "If I can do that, maybe I'll find my will like you, My Queen. It must be nice to have a family that support your homosexual marriage. I know my family—particularly just my parents and grandparents, they will never accept that I love Prince Nien."

"How do you know?" I ask.

Fiona chuckles and looks at me with amusement, "I didn't visit home not because I didn't want to. The only way I'm allowed to see my room again is if I marry that stubbornly obsessed man."

"If Nien agrees, you both are always welcome in my home," I offer a gentle smile trying to mimic my mother's.

"Thanks."

I take a bite of the potatoes and compliment her cooking. Her cheeks blush slightly before tasting the potatoes herself.

"So you said the moss exploded?" I recall her explanation after finishing my kabob.

She nods firmly, "The male elf didn't explain that, but it's likely why he didn't want Prince Niltiocles to enter through there."

Then Asahi switches nipple by himself again.

"My Queen, I feel like I should say this," Fiona's brows drop low above her eyes as she bites her bottom lip.

I gesture for her to continue because I think she is warning me that it might trigger me.

"A lowly commoner like myself would like to make the conjecture that Crown Prince Asahi is not eating enough," she shys away after finishing her comment.

The comment leaves me speechless and confused. I look down at the blue eyes that are staring at me.

"Mama!" Asahi gurgles because I'm giving him attention.

"Hello sweetie," I gently pinches his cheek and kiss his soft forehead.

Asahi climbs my chest and blows loud raspberries on my cheek.

I notice Grandmama wakes a little and quickly excuse Asahi and I for a walk.

After I feel like we're far enough, I lay down my coat North of a big tree so we can hide from the Southern winds.

The sun is also warm, so we play for the longest we have ever played.

"Say: I love you mommy."

"I luv wu mama!" He always replies with excitement and laughter.

"Say: We miss you daddy."

"Wee mmm wu! Mama!"

He brings a smile on my face. I kiss his nose, "And Asahi is mommy's favorite."

"Can Asahi give mommy a kiss?" I point to my cheek.

Asahi climbs on top of me and kisses me all over my face.

Then as we are doing the eagle, I hear a man's voice calling out to me, "Mae Mae?"

I turn to see a strong buff man with dark silvery hair and bright daring red eyes with hunting gears.

"Mae Mae. It is you," the man walks closer to us and I can finally see that it is the most talented of all my father's sons: Artemis.