Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

The Apology

"Hurry, I want to see Master Lexin," I say after quickly finishing my breakfast.

Nillin smirks, "I'm trying."

"Well, then try harder," I tease him.

"Why don't you help me?" Nillin put down his spoon and crosses his arms.

"You're not a child."

"Yes. I am not a child, but," he looks around the room giving each person a look. "I want you to spoil me."

Caria and Carcyne blush instantly because they know these words don't ever come out of Nillin's mouth.

Just to tease them as well, I kiss the corner of his lips, "Please excuse me. I'll go get Asahi and myself ready as you finish your breakfast."

Nillin pulls me onto his laps. With his deep blue eyes in my greens, I can feel his hot breaths on my face.

No words come to mind and I can only smile.

He smiles back at me, and because of his pale skin, his rosy cheeks are more prevalent than mine.

"I love you," Nillin declares.

"I love you too," I hug his broad shoulders. "I really want to fix things with the person we have wrong most, or else it feels like I'm lying to you and myself."

"Yes," he hugs me tightly with a gentle warmth.

He finally loosens his grip after a while.

I excuse myself a second time to prepare Asahi and myself, and for him to finish his breakfast.

Who knew he's such a slow eater?

The maids undress me and are pondering over what to put on me.

"Dress me like how any Queen would," I offer them an answer.

The warrior who speak for all says, "But My Queen is a man. We can't possible put a dress on you."

"When a woman becomes King, she dresses like a King. So when a man becomes a Queen, he too can dress like a Queen," I say. "I don't mind."

They avert their eyes as if I say something immoral but dress me in a Queen apparel still.

I pull a silk linen from the array of textiles for Asahi, and wrap him in it after cleaning him.

He is as adorable as any in the kingdom.

"Claire," the warrior orders and then a medicine women comes before me and offers her arms for Asahi.

I shake my head, "It's alright. I like taking care of him."

Again, they avert their eyes.

The warrior speaks, "But My Queen, how would the other servants think of your status if you're seen carrying the Crown Prince?"

"A mother is not allowed to nurse her own child in public?" I ask rhetorically.

She lowers her head and acts like nothing has happened.

"It is not that I don't trust my aids, I simply want to dot on my firstborn," I try to explain, but it's probably hopeless.

They have already made up their minds about me.

They must've thought I'm crazy the moment I accepted Nillin's marriage proposal; because in this world, a man in his right mind would never choose to be pushed down by another man in bed.

I walk out the room to see that Nillin is already well dressed waiting for us.

Borscht and Kay are standing beside Nillin starstrucked.