Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

To the Beginning

Aguano and Borscht notice Asahi and I right away and kneel before us.

"It has been a while, Queen Maeve," Aguano's voice is still harsh.

"It's okay, Nien and Fiona. They're friends of Nillin and I." And to them I gesture, "Please come sit and have breakfast with us."

Borscht shakes his head and holds his brother from moving a step.

"I'm afraid we can't, Your Majesty. We are only here to inform you of Master Hienzworth's death," the younger brother looks away unable to swallow the thought himself.

The words fly past my head because it doesn't feel real. We were laughing and talking just yesterday. Lexin said he has plans and thus couldn't journey with us. How—

"Who killed him?" I ask with a dried tongue.

"It was a suicide," Nien answers me instead. "He told us yesterday while you were breastfeeding Asahi."

I look around the room in disbelieve. Anyone who meet my gaze avert theirs.

I hold Asahi close to my chest trying my best to hold in my sadness.

"If 'I' knew he was going to kill himself, I'll never let him leave yesterday," I want them to know their guilt of not stopping Lexin.

After a short moment of silence, Borscht declares, "Then we'll be leaving."

"Where is the King and what is he doing?" I ask abruptly.

"He is trying to find the cure to the fetal epidemic coming out of the explosions," Borscht sighs in anguish.

"How are our in-laws?"

I want to hear from their mouths because they're closer to Nillin and the frontline than anyone I know and can trust.

"Vanish without a trace."

"How's my father, Master Sihipe?"

"Healthy and well."

I bite my lips because of how glad I am that at least one of my parents survived.

"If there is no more question, Lord Aguano and I will be going," Borscht and Aguano bow and leave.

The room feels cold even if I have Asahi in my arms.

Nien wants to say something but Grandmama stops her, and they leave Asahi and I alone in our thoughts.

I take Asahi upstairs so at least Nien and Fiona can stay indoors on this cold morning.

Because I want to cry, I try to make Asahi sleep but somehow he knows and doesn't want me to cry alone.

"Mama?" His tiny lips pout as his eyes also water.

"Don't leave mommy, okay?" Tears fall from my eyes on its own.

"Mama," he begins whimpering.

I force a smile and have his face close to mine, "I love you."

"I luv wu," the baby replies while being on the edge of tears.

"Mommy loves you more than anything, Asahi," I kiss his whole face and taking in his sweet baby smell.

Asahi grabs onto my face and tries to kiss all over my face, "Mama. I luv wu."

"I love you too, Asahi. Promise mommy you won't leave too," I begin tearing up. "I really, really don't want to lose you."

Even while still grieving, I insist that we leave on our appointed time.