Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

A Bit Closer to the Truth

It's morning again and we're moving more North.

Grandmama carries Asahi and I carry the sleepy toddler, Arabret. (I recall his name after a long time just thinking about it.)

The sun begin to rise from the Southeast blinding anyone who dares to peek at the royal palace.

After an hour or so, we rest to eat breakfast. The forest is filled with crying babies, and it all started with a single cry that dominoes the rest.

I can tell Fiona and Nien are crazy frustrated without seeing them.

The toddler is finally eating, "Why is that you're so dark and your baby is so light?"

"It's because his father is as pale as snow," I answer him.

"Aren't you his father?"

"Yes and no. I'm a male parent, but Asahi was in my belly once," I answer him.

"Then when I grow up, I can be a mother like you and my mother?" He asks innocently.

How do I explain to a toddler that I used magic?

Grandmama holds in her laughter since she got scold by Nien last night.

"With enough magic, maybe," I decide to go with this answer because it's most true.

However, it gives unnecessary hope.

After eating my breakfast, I feed Asahi and Arabret asks me, "Will my boobs grow big like yours?"

I look at Grandmama who will be suffocating from laughing.

"Maybe," I answer the boy.

"How come you breastfeed your baby?"

"I'll answer once you're finish with your breakfast," I evade the question.

It's like this for a week. The boy is very curious about everything while I barely know what kind of answer I should give him.

We are moving much slower since Fiona and Nien decide we should only move at dusk or dawn to avoid the Aarthian military.

At least they've gotten smarter.

And after a few more weeks of doing just this, we're finally turning Eastward. I still have no clue as to who are their sponsors.

It is now the end of the fourth month and the raining season for this area.

We settle in a fairy ring in a forest near a town in the plateau to the East.

This land is not as fertile as the lands in the Northwest which gets fresh water from the Northwestern Mountains, or the valley of the Capital which gets new topsoil deposit from the river that connects to the ocean.

And yet this land is also fluriousing with the recent wells posted in every corner of the land.

"This is near the Kingdom of Enzumin, the Northwestern High Elves," Grandmama whispers to me at breakfast. "It's a day South of here bordering the sea."

"How do you know?" I ask her, but before she can answer Nien comes to eat with us.

Nien looks at my plate and then Grandmama's; he comments, "You both should eat more."

He portions some of his to both of ours.

"It's really alright," I say and try to give him back his piece of bread. "I'm already full."

"Should I have Claire check on you? You have gotten skinnier," Nien places a finger on his lip.

I lower my head instantly, "No. I'm really fine."

"Then eat this," Nien gives the piece of bread back to me and I have to accept it.

"I have been wondering," Nien begins. "Fiona told me Nillin and you didn't get along because he kept a male mistress. Why did you forgive him?"

"Ah," I look for words. "It's quite personal, and I don't think I can put it into words even if I do tell you."

"Personal? If I tell you one of my secret, would you tell me why?"

Dumbfounded, I answer him, "Sure."

"I'm Nillin's blood sister. We share the same parents," Nien chuckles guilelessly.

I, on the other hand, is bombarded. Nien gave me two secrets. Are they true or lies?

"Did what you m—"

"Why don't you tell me why you forgave my brother?" Nien looks straight at me.

Grandmama takes the two children and turns away. There isn't room for comfort.

"He's the father of my children, it's better to fix our problems than hold grudges against each other," I carefully pronounce each of my word.

"Children?"

Oh boy. What have I done?

"Yes," I answer calmly. "We do plan to have more."

"But you can't," Nien's brows lie low.

Nien just makes me more confused.

"There's a curse in the family. The reason our father and uncle fought is because they're twins. The reason Nillin and I are fighting because I survived childbirth," Nien elaborates for me, but what does she means by 'survive'?

"Then can't Prince Nien just don't fight Nillin?" I offer.

She laughs and replies in a deep and serious tone, "How can I forgive the person who killed my father? But I also don't like any of this, so tell me, how can you forgive him?"

"Does Nillin know King Nir is his biological father and you are his sister?" I soften my voice to combat her anger.

Nien glares at her grandmother's back, "No. She won't let anyone tell him."

"Then right now, Nillin believes he is justifying his father, Prince Niltiocles's death and birthright," I try to help her understand. "The only way to forgive anyone is to either be the bigger person and or put yourself in their shoes."

"No. I can't be the bigger person even if you are right," Nien finishes her food.

"I forgave Nillin because he admitted his miscounts and asked for my forgiveness," I place a hand on top of hers.

"How would you know if he truly repented?" She squeezes my hand. "How can you, of all people, forgive him because he said he was sorry? That's bullshit!"

All the people around us startle, especially Grandmama.

"It must hurt, huh?" I place my plate to my side and pat her head. "Let's go talk somewhere with less people."

"But I want Grandmama to hear what I have to say! She started all of this!"

I pull myself closer to her and go in for a comforting embrace. "Allow me to be the family you needed but lost."