Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

My Balls

A second child? Why now? There are barely enough food to eat for anyone.

I reach down at my lower abdomen, "Pregnant?"

"You must be extremely fertile," Grandmama pat my head. "I'll give you my share too. You are eating for three."

"Doesn't that mean I shouldn't be breastfeeding?" I ask after my sudden realization. "Wouldn't I contract and lose the child in my belly?"

"No, no. Child, that's a false motherhood tales," she continues to pat me head. "It's not enough to do anything other than feed Asahi."

"Grandmama," I suck in my lips. "Thank you."

She pulls my head close to her breasts, "It's okay, my child. Don't be afraid since I'm still here. I'll do my best so that you and the children will reunite with Nillin again."

My fear of childbirth can't even compare to my fear knowing that the child inside me might die at any moment.

I don't want to believe in that stupid persimmon dream, but I can't help but reflect back on it.

Fiona and the female warriors are handing out the food rations.

When Fiona gets to us, she says, "Why is the Queen crying?"

"I just miss my husband," I answer after wiping my tears. "And Grandmama was comforting me."

"Well, you'll never see him again," she answers and places our rations at my feet. "I'll make sure of it; but I was sure you weren't the type to cry so openly because you're lonely. You were a man worthy of the title Queen of Aarth."

"I'm sorry to ruin your image of me," I catch my breath and pick up the rations.

Fiona shares Nien's habit of clicking her tongue, "First off, you apologize too much to even be nobility let alone a Queen."

I avert my eyes, "Why don't you become Prince Nien's Queen?"

Her brows narrow tightly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Then Fiona leaves. I must've hit a nerve.

There really is no other explanation as to why a smart person like Fiona will obey a helplessly aloof leader like Nien.

I think about two days passed by and we're getting ready to leave.

I really don't want to leave because it'll mean we're further away from Nillin, and our chances of returning home are less probable.

"Asahi's mom," Grandmama twitches her nose. "Do you think you can carry Asahi and walk?"

"Yes, Grandmama," I laugh. "I was a warrior before I married your grandson."

"Just tell Nina when you can't go on anymore. I don't want you to hurt the other one while trying to be a hero," Grandmama holds on to my arm.

She and I walk side by side out of the pocket space, following a smelly stream, and cross over the moat on a long log.

I don't know how to help Nillin track us down, so with every step I take, I simply pray that he does.

Surprisingly, not a single child cried out during the five hours long operation.

I couldn't escape in that five hours because Fiona is right beside me leading the head, and Nien at the tail.

She is definitely smart.

"Asahi's mom," Grandmama tugs at my sleeve, "Are you alright? Do you feel weak? Nauseous?"

I smile for Grandmama, "I'm alright. Thank you, and how about you?"