Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

BAM!

Later that evening as I finish bathing, I hear Grandmama sings Asahi and Arabret a lullaby.

The same one Nillin and Xielle sang together at Boursic.

"I like it. What's the name?" I ask Grandmama after she finishes the lullaby and the children are asleep.

"'Star-crossed Lovers,'" she answers. "It's Aarth's 'other' national anthem."

And it's also 'their' song apparently.

"It's beautiful," I say with guilt.

She calls me closer to her and sits me next to her on the bed.

The oil lamp on the stand flickers even though there's no wind, and Grandmama places Asahi into my arms, and says, "So you're not returning?"

"It depends on him now," I answer her genuinely. "I'm already giving him another chance, let's hope he doesn't mess up this time too."

"I may sound like I'm on his side but it is only because I want you to stay in my family," the elderly woman sighs sadly.

I lean in and place my head on her shoulder, "I'm already part of your family, Grandmama."

"I know... It's just I feel like I'll lose you if I don't tie you down with my grandson," Grandmama pats my head but she cries in a whisper. "You treat me so well and my family have given you nothing but a mad headache."

"I'm alright, really," I can feel a strong bond forming between her and I. "I love you, Grandmama."

She cups my face with a weak smile, "No one has said that to me in a long, long time, Asahi's mom."

"Then Grandmama should hear it more often," I wink. "I love you. I love you."

"I'll never forgive my grandson for hurting you," she says in a teasing matter.

Finally, I feel like she's on my side. I know old people are stubborn, but I hope she would stop telling me to run back to Nillin—no matter how much my heart aches for him.

I yawn a little and she pushes Asahi and I off her bed and into the bigger room.

She said Arabret should sleep with her so that I could care for Asahi more.

It's a good thing Grandmama also treats Arabret like her great-grandson. Maybe because Arabret is her ex-fiancé's (great) grandson.

I wonder does Grandmama ever regret not marrying her fiancé because I feel like she likes him more than her husband.

Would one day I regret running away from my first wedding?

I lay Asahi in his crib and climb onto my own bed wide awake with my head full of Nillin.

You know, I don't want to admit this but I rather he never show up. I think a quiet life like this in the middle of nowhere is ideal.

I don't want to worry about Nillin having other lovers or enemies. I don't want to see him kill anymore, especially my family and friends.

But what if he does show up? Will I simply return to that isolated life of boredom and uselessness waiting to be used against Nillin?

What if we have more kids? Will they also die due to the family curse?

I feel the hollowness of my lower abdomen with tears ready to be cried out.

The living shouldn't long for the dead because it's not healthy, but I just can't help myself weeping for my child.

It has been months and yet I can still feel that warmth leaving my body, sliding down between my legs, and lose its warmth as it sat on the mud between my feet.

That sensation will probably haunt me forever.

I turn over to face Asahi who is still sleeping soundly. I dare not wake him up so I just stare at him.

"Ah, Asahi. Why do you look so much like your father? Well, at least you won't be ugly and possibly have the chance to be loved back by your partner."

Damn. I really want to hug him, kiss him, and smell that sweet baby smell.

Temptation gets the best of me, and I hug, kiss, and smell him until my heart's content. His eyes slowly opens and he turns my way with big sparkling eyes and a smile.

He searches for me with his tiny arms as I tease him with short touches and giggles.

Before I knew it, Asahi turns himself over and crawls over to me.

"Ahbu! Kyuuu!" The child says to me.

I pull him in closer to me and whisper to myself in surprise, "You can crawl? When? It's so dark I could barely see your first crawl."

I fake cry, but internally I'm in ruin. Asahi is growing way too fast for his own good.

With a yawn, he returns to sleep.

Maybe I should sing him lullabies too—but I don't know any. They have never interested me until now.

When my brain is finally tired, I also asleep.

The next moment when the sky begins to clear but the sun has yet to rise, the earth shakes violently.

I take Asahi, go over to Grandmama and Arabret who are awake, and we all go outside and wait out the earthquakes.

At least then we can try to outrun the cracks and nothing falls on us.

Soon after we got outside, there is a roar from the West follows by a long gust of rapid winds.

The roof of the small cottage somehow stays intact because Nien's hill lies between the sources and us, but the town that is a little South isn't as lucky.

The Southwest part of town is completely destroyed by the wind, and some buildings crumble apart entirely when the earthquake first hit.

There are only two things I believe could cause such catastrophe. They are Cassiopeya's explosions and father's roars.

I don't want either to happen so I hope there is a third possible event.

"Asahi's mom! Asahi's mom!" Grandmama shakes my head.

I blink a few times before returning to reality.

"My precious child is crying violently," her brows narrow angrily.

"Thank you." I hug Asahi tightly trying my best to calm him down as Grandmama tries to help Arabret too.

Just when the children are calmed, another wave of earthquakes and roaring, gusty winds blow from the Northwest.

Three fourths of the town is destroyed, and there's a fire dancing in town as well; but fortunately the second wave doesn't cause us the walls of our shelter either.

The sun has only began peeking over the horizon and today is already in ruin.

Where there were almost ripen crops are now barren dirt lands; and the harvest was supposed start next month, but now there aren't much to harvest.

I look at Grandmama with terror in my heart.

Will I have to return to Nillin because I can't feed them? What about our people? They won't have the option I have.

We wait to see if there's a third and fourth waves, but nothing happens anymore.

I rush inside the cottage with Asahi still in my arms and then help Grandmama and Arabret inside.

I make us breakfast and pack the leftovers.

"Grandmama, watch the children. I'm going into town to see what I can help with."