Ephemeral Affairs [MXM]

Forgiveness

"And those criteria differences are?" I ask since he stays silent after declaring a revolutionary idea to me.

"A lover in an affair only wants fun," Nillin begins. "A spouse in a marriage wants stability. A lover will hide flaws and a spouse work with the flaws."

"Well, wouldn't those personalities be different from person to person? I don't see how those are criterias to becoming your Queen," I contribute instantly.

"No. It doesn't depends—well, it does, but that is beside my point at the moment. I now know why it's important to seek your characteristics when looking for a spouse because what I want in an affair is different from what I want in a marriage."

His hand lifts my chin upward, "It's like how you once told me."

"You sacrifice your dignity and humble yourself to be my Queen and bare my children," and this is the first time I see him smile so effortlessly, so genuine.

He doesn't make any sense, so I answer, "But did you say that I'm not good enough because I 'unconditionally' feared you?"

Nillin wraps his arms around my waist closing in the distant between us.

"I mistook it for your humbleness, and I'm sorry," his actions and words begin to feel warm and calming. "You are so strong and intelligent and graceful in everything you do. I pale in comparison."

Blood rushes to my cheeks, "S-Stop it. Please. I'm not as good as you make me out to be."

"No, my flattering can't even scratch the surfaces of who you are. Your kindness is shown indiscriminately. You never put yourself first because you care about our future. I see no one more qualified to be a partner, a mother, and a Queen."

He drops to his knees with his arms still around me, "Please, stay by my side. Be my strength and be the mother of my people and my children. I can't do or be anything without you, Maeve. You are my unwavering fortitude."

Maeve, don't give in. Stay strong. Stay strong.

And yet, I slowly believe that his words are sincere and are from the depths of his heart because the prideful and arrogant Nillin would never beg.

This situation grows uncomfortableness in me because rage turns pity, understanding, then admiration, and finally love once more.

"No more ground rules," I hold in my boiling emotions. "We can't reverse what were done, but we can still work together toward a better tomorrow."

Nillin lifts his face to see mine with unbelievability. He tightens his grip and spins us.

I chuckle at his reaction and he smiles guilelessly.

"Say that you will stay with me," he kisses my cheek.

I want to be a little playful, but I comply to the current mood, "I will stay with you."

"Forever?"

"No. That depends on you."

"Alright, I deserve that." He looks into my eyes and says, "I love you, Maeve."

He then leans in to kiss my lips. "They really are like honey."

"Are they disgusting when I'm not like this?" I kiss him back and he eyes tell his tale.

Before he can bring up a comeback, I say, "It has been a long evening. Let's have dinner."

And so we have dinner and we go to see Asahi before going to bed.

We lie next to each other in bed like a real marriage and he whispers into my ear, "I'm sorry about everything."

"Someone else deserves to hear that more than I do," I turn to look at his sleepy face.

"Who?"

I answer him, "Master Lexin."

I wait to hear his reply, but he stays silent for a very long time.

It is not until I decide to check on Asahi as an excuse does he answer, "I will apologize to Lexin tomorrow. So stay in bed with me."

His confirmation fuels the joy inside me. Has he truly turn my way? Will he stay this way?

I want to lose myself in this for the rest of my life. I hope that it'll stay this way.

That hope grows inside me, and for a very long time, I am lastly at peace.

The next morning, Nillin spoons me and says, "So are your breasts going to stay this big forever?"

I lift my body to get out of bed, but my head bumps into his, "Ouch... Your head is made out of metal or something?"

He kisses the spot on my forehead that got hurt, "Feel better?"

"I don't want to play happy marriage with you," I tease him a little before getting out of bed successfully.

"I thought we're over this? How long do you plan to play hard to get?"

"Pardon?" I turn around with my eyes widen. "You think I'm playing you?"

"No. No. It was a joke," Nillin makes a face like he's terrified of me.

He makes me chuckle unable to express this bursting flare of love. I kiss him, "I'm teasing."

"Your teasings are terrifying," he comments. "Please don't do that anymore."

"Do what?" I further tease him.

Before he can say anything, I initiate a deeper kiss making sure he is fully aroused to just stop in the middle of it.

"Let me go check on Asahi."

"Ah!" He pulls me back into bed with him. "You started this, be sure you finish it as well."

I check my left, feeling the morning breezes swift through the windows. It's shadowy because we're on the West wing.

"How about I ride you?" I take off my garments sitting on top of his pelvis.

Nillin places his hands on my hip.

"Let me start with down there," I say falling back where my face is before his groin.

I pleasure him as I prepare my behind. I don't want it to hurt this time.

"You're not very good at this," Nillin rises.

"Thank you," I say and push him back on his back. "I didn't have time to practice."

I climb him and slowly begin making love. He places his hands on my hips again.

This time his hand wonders across my belly, "Are these from carrying my son?"

"They're proof that I'm his mother," I answer him.

Nillin slowly pins me below him, and he kisses the scars of childbearing.

"That day, I knew our son was taken out of your stomach, but I didn't know it's this big of a scar."

I pat his head, "It's fine. The hardest part was you not being next to me when it happened."

"I'm sorry," he says in a heavy tone.

"Come on. If you're just going to regret things, I'll ride you again," I tease him.