Just let me understand you || Tsukishima Kei Story

Okay, everyone, I'm pushing the makeup about a year early so like very soon

Y/n's pov

I tried to make the best out of the party, as much as I wanted to sit down and cry to myself like I used to do. But I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm an adult, I have an adult job, and responsibilities now. Most importantly, I need to put Kasumi in front of everything, that last thing I'd want for her is to have her turn out just like me.

I mean, she already is kind of like me, sleeping all the time, loud, annoying in a good way, but she's already starting to blame herself for things she can't really control. And a trait like that is hard to get rid of, I should know.

*ring ring*

"Kasumi, can you please get my phone," I say, as I was driving. "Unless it's not important."

I glance back at her in the mirror, and of course, she's passed out with my phone in her hand. I quickly reach back to grab it, taking the earbuds and putting them into mine.

"Hello, who is this?" I ask tucking the phone under my leg, I really don't need to be pulled over because I have a cell phone out. "Or just not say anything at all, because that's just what I need."

"Uh, it's me, Y/n," yeah, I shouldn't have answered the phone.

"Sorry, I'm not really in the position to give you a blow job right now Tsukishima," I scoff. "But who knows, maybe if you hold me really close and lead me off to a room I might just be stupid enough to do so."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I was a jerk, and that's not what we should've done. I shouldn't have even touched you before we got to talking."

"Hang up the phone," I say.

"No, if you don't want to talk you can hang up, but I'll keep calling you," he says.

"I can't hang up, because knowing me I'll end up getting pulled over by some undercover," I say.

"That means you have no choice but to listen to me," he says.

Not true, I could pull out the headphones and leave him talking, but maybe I'm just so stupid and desperate that I want to hear his voice.

"You're an asshole you know that, and I'm glad Kasumi threw that toy at you. But it's your fault that she came crying, she's taking all the blame and I hate that. What's wrong with you?" I ask. "I thought I was one for self-sabotage but you are no better than I am."

"Yeah, I am," he sighs. "And I know that I was going to be an ass because I wanted to make you mad. I was going to have sex with you and leave, but I chose not to."

"Yeah, you chose to do some foreplay then try to leave, that's so much better," I shake my head. "I've treated you like shit, but I don't use you Kei. There's a difference, a huge difference, it really hurts."

"I know, and I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't want to make you feel used, I love you."

"I don't care," I say. "Fuck you, you're an asshole, and it makes me want to punch you in the face."

"Then punch me, please punch me in the face," he says. "I want to see you, please Y/n."

"Anytime I see you, things go bad, you kiss someone I kiss someone or we kiss each other," I say.

"I know, I know," he sighs. "My mom said something about loyalty and love and how they meet in the middle, and I love you, but I tried to replace you even though I can't. I'm sorry Y/n, please."

"Stop it," I say. "You do too much stupid shit, and I can't handle it."

"Please, just let me understand, I can," he says. "Please."

"It doesn't matter if you want to understand, it's impossible," I say getting angry, and we all know I say shit when I get mad. "You will never understand anything I've gone through unless your parents discard you, your adoptive mom doesn't like you for years, you get sent to a boarding school. Then you need to be bullied every year and passed around schools like your nothing, you have to be treated like shit and cry yourself to sleep every damm night until you sleep just to avoid your shitty life-."

"Y/n-," he starts before I cut him off.

"I am not done, you have to spend all your time trying to match your brother just for your mom to like you even a bit. Then you need to get to the point where you think your own mother will finally love you, but she doesn't. You need to cry about yourself again and leave, only to let yourself get taken advantage of because somebody finally wanted you. But you've heard that all before and still think things will be better," I say. "You have to go through years of self-sabotage, meet the guy of your dreams and fall in love. Find a place you love, and start to open up."

I pause taking a breath, but I don't stop.

"Only to be told you have to leave it all behind, you have to deal with blackmail and all this stupid. Runaway, meet a pregnant lady, pretend your fine then run away again. Meet the lady's husband, hide from your boyfriend and brother with a fucking predator. Get kidnapped, almost taken advantage of and not even care what happens. Deal with all this stress, and pretend like everything's all fine just so everybody else is happy. Break up with your love, move, break your leg, have few friends. Speed thought school, become a millionaire and have to be responsible for so many people's jobs."

"Wait, you got kidnapped?" he asks. "When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yeah Kei, I was kidnapped and kept it to myself because I didn't want to be a burden. After all that you need to find the kid of the lady who killed her crazy husband then herself leaving her kid with your last name. Fight every day just to keep this kid because she's the only reason you have to wake up. Then meet your ex, almost sleep with him and then feel like shit," I say. "And most of all, you have to have an undying hatred for yourself. And feel guilty for anyone who even tried to care about you."

"I'm sorry," he says.

"The other line is going," I say. "I am going to talk to you after, do you want to know why?"

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I love you, and people who love eachother work things out. And I know, you go to therapy," I say.

"My aunt told you?" he questions. "It's supposed to be confidential."

"I don't care," I say moving to the other line. "Hello?"

Brielle, I need the get back together spice sorta redone. Kasumi isn't getting sent away, and they're getting back together before she's twenty-one. Keep the whole Idea, change anything where it mentions Kasumi isn't there. She'll be somewhere, I don't care right now.

-Crouton