Humm? (jenlisa romcom gxg)

[29] Nov 21, 2022 - Monday 11:09 [78]

| University

I'm already in class and today I got here late... more than I usually do, so I didn't sit next to Rosé or Jisoo who are in the middle of other people, in some rows in front of me.

I'm sitting in the almost last row, on the left side as I always do. I just like this side, I don't know... there are some people behind me scattered but we are just a few.

Jennie is not here yet and I didn't ask Rosé if she was with her in her last class, 'cause it's weird if I do...

I'm still processing the dreams I had last week. I basically remember most of my dreams and when I don't, sometimes after I see something it triggers their memory. They are always weird, but this week... they are so, so stupid. I don't really know if there's anything to take out of them, but let's have fun or get bored analyzing my subconscious, I guess...

1

I apparently had a pet that looked like it was... a flea. It was just one. It was on my hand and it kept walking from one of my hands to the other. I was helping the flea walk around, but then it started jumping, and I started having trouble following its jumps from one hand to the other, until... it jumped and I lost it... and that was it... yeah... I found a bug in my apartment this week, maybe it was because of that... I am the kind of person who doesn't like to kill them, just takes them out if possible... but if I am good at it... well, this time... no... no. If I spent half an hour trying to get the bug out of my apartment through the window again... yes.

2

Another one was... I was lying on cement stairs, like three steps, inside a room that I don't have a clue where it was. I knew I wanted to go to my bed and sleep, but everything was too wavy... and heavy, I didn't have strength, so I was just lying there. I tried to move and at the start, I was able to move just a little, but then, no matter how much strength I put in, it was as if I was paralyzed, I couldn't move. I started to panic 'cause I don't know why, but I started to not feel safe and my senses felt like at any time I would shut down my eyes. All started to get even more wavy, heavy, dark, scary and... I woke up.

3

A third one... I was running in the middle of a forest, away from... I don't know... after infinite running and grabbing ledges of roofs that appeared out of nowhere, I started to get exhausted and kept having this fucking adrenaline of I'm going to die if I stop... they ended up capturing me. I don't remember exactly how or who... I was put in a dark, empty, circle room, with tinny walls that I needed to be lying down to fit. Suddenly, I felt like I needed to escape and I could... I just needed to figure out how, and yeah, I don't remember more... this week I played tomb raider, maybe was that... I don't know...

4

Fourth... I was having dinner in my old house, with my parents, and I was forced to come out to them 'cause they kinda implied... and I didn't want to keep lying anymore. They got mad and started yelling. I walked outside to the entrance of the house, panicking, not knowing what to do, where to go... I never had a chance to come out to one of them and I don't think that would have gone well if I had done it... it was not a situation of they didn't know, I think, it was more... they didn't want to see... 

5

And of course, there's Jennie... actually, there's a lot of Jennie around my dreams, but she comes out of nowhere and she isn't really the focus of my dreams most of the time... but is still super weird how she is there frequently when my subconscious takes control, even if is just for a few seconds... and unfortunately or... fortunately... she appears a lot on my nightmares, it's just, unfortunate... the fact I still have those even though I'm not a kid anymore... there's no respect... I demand respect... anyway... she either gives me weird stuff, like a book from uni or just... her hand... and I don't know what it is... but when I see her in my dreams is as if I take more control of the dream... I'm still not aware I'm dreaming... but it's like everything calms down enough to hear my own thoughts inside of it... maybe is the guilt of having her there that makes me more rational...