Humm? (jenlisa romcom gxg)

[36.2] Dec 20, 2022 - Tuesday 15:03 [107]

| Residence

♪ [ ~ Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows ~ ]

We've already had lunch, finished watching Shrek 2, and changed our clothes... to go outside and run... yey...

She is leaning against my window, fixing her hair while putting on a hat... probably to see her own reflection.

"Why are you going to wear a hat? It's not even that sunny."

"I like it to hold my hair."

"Hm," I nod.

"Hmmm," she teases.

"Hmmmm."

She chuckles.

...

We went down.

She looks outside before opening the residence door. She glances at me happily and opens it.

"Why are you being so sneaky?" I ask.

"I'm not," she chuckles.

"... Come on," she says and pulls me but ah... I-ah.

She's taking me to the back of the residence.

"Why are you going this way? I thought we were going to run in the park."

"I like to run more on these trails."

We go around the residence and reach a dirt road that still has the river on our side.

I never really came to this side of the residence because it leads nowhere. It's not urbanized, so it's rare for people to come here... there aren't even lights, but... it's still daylight so the atmosphere of the forest with all these trees and dirt road isn't... yet... scaring me, haha.

She starts running and I follow her, staying side by side, letting her be the one to run on the riverside.

Since it's just us in the middle of nature... it's actually really peaceful running here... hearing just the river flow, the wind against the trees, the little birds talking to each other... that one is probably saying... who are these two idiots ruining my peaceful afternoon... and others maybe answering... shut up Alberto, you're the one ruining our entire day... but I'm just guessing here...

...

We're still running and... I do... exercise, but I still don't feel comfortable reaching a peak state, because hearing my heart beat strongly and loudly while feeling my body burning, numb as my chest and breath are out of control, just reminds me of the state when I used to have panic attacks.

For a whole year, I stopped completely exercising 'cause even climbing stairs affected my heart and it would beat uncontrollably and exhaustively, which used to scare me a lot... but after some time, I started to exercise gradually again. And I feel like I'm healthier now, like my old self again, but I still get tired a little more easily and quicker than I used to. And if I focus on my heartbeat a little too much, it will beat even more intensely, accelerate and won't stop... and... now... I'm starting to feel out of breath... and all I can think about is on... my loud uncontrolled heartbeat... fuck...

I need to stop, so... that's what I do.

I stop running and lower my upper body, trying to control my breath. Jennie stops in front of me.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhm. I-I just need to breathe a little, you run too fast," I laugh trying to make her don't pay too much attention to this, and it's really nothing... is just my tired body... being tired, haha.