Humm? (jenlisa romcom gxg)

[37.3] Dec 21, 2022 - Wednesday 19:12 [108]

| Residence

♪ [ ~ Wrong Direction - Hailee Steinfeld ~ ]

I'm lying on my bed with my stomach against the bed looking to the side... thinking about nothing... about everything... just lost...

*beep*

My door... oh, yeah... she still has my card...

I get up and go to the open space again.

Jennie enters and walks to the window. She leans against it and looks at me silently.

I breathe deeply against my bedroom door and also walk to the window. I stand in the opposite direction to her, looking outside.

"I'm sorry I made you fall..."

"Don't worry about that..."

"I just got scared... it wasn't my intention..."

"Don't worry, Jennie..."

"But I'm not like that..."

"I know... and I'm not that naive either... if this wasn't your first time we would be having a different conversation... if I say don't worry... don't worry... just forget it and talk to me about... what is really worrying me..."

She breathes more deeply and sits on the windowsill with her back against the window, facing me.

"So... I thought about it... and I realized that all this time... I have not been thinking at all... I'm sorry..."

I look at her brown eyes... they seem more... fragile... more sparkly... was she crying before...?

"For what...?"

"For being selfish... I should never have let you feel like we would end up together... feel like I want us to end up together..."

I look outside again.

"... Because I don't... I don't know what I want yet... but I'm sure that this isn't it..."

I try to contain my tears.

I never thought we would end up together... I already felt that we had our days counted... but I'll not lie that... I thought we would have more... I would have more time to be with you...

"Okay..." 

I wipe a tear that fucking felt and I stay looking outside in silence.

I feel Jennie's breath get heavier but... I don't want to look... at her... at my favourite brown eyes right now...

"... Can you go...? I want to be alone..."

I hear Jennie breathing more uncontrolled.

"Mhm..."

Jennie comes down from the window.

°°°

I feel Jennie's arms being wrapped around me from behind, my own arms stretched down on my sides being taken under hers, her face and body pressed against my back... and she hugs me so strongly and tightly with her fists grabbing my sweater.

"... Please don't be mad at me..." 

I look down.

"Jennie... please stop..." I say slowly with my voice already affected.

"Are you going to avoid me again...?!"

"Jennie, let go..."

"No! Tell me...! Don't treat me like a stranger again, please... let me be close to you..." she says with her voice affected too... no... her crying... no...