Humm? (jenlisa romcom gxg)

[30] Nov 25, 2022 - Friday 20:09 [82]

| Road to Residence

As the last class ended I started walking straight home... I spent the whole week trying to figure out what I should do... I want to talk to her... but, argh... I don't know what to say.

Hey, Jennie, do you want to try to be friends again...? Just don't mind me being in love with you...

Ahhhhh.

Isn't like more up to her? If she didn't say anything until now, is because she thinks that this is how we must be...

Ahhh.

But she said she didn't want it to be like this, remember...?

Ahhh.

Hi, Jennie.

I cough.

Sup, Jennie?

Yeah, no.

I bite my lip.

How you doing?

Stop playing around...!

I chuckle and cough.

Hey... how are you...?

No. No. No.

Hi, can we-ah--

My eyes fall on a familiar car...

Fuck...

I place both my hands on my forehead automatically.

I awkwardly put them down as I see people looking at me weirdly.

What if we go in and see them...? What did Jennie even tell him about us being... insert quotes, together... that night?! Am I the ex or just the idiot who pretended to be with her to affect him...?

I don't give a fuck... if you see them, just fucking act normal... but until then, just fucking walk faster!

| Residence

I start to walk, almost running, looking at every inch of the residence.

Uff, nobody is in the lobby. 

I press the elevator button to go up... I feel anxiety rushing all over me.

Fuck this shit, I'm going through the stairs.

I reach the fourth floor almost without air... I grab the door handle and... my body freezes as I hear a familiar voice from the other side.

"Do I really have to go?" X asks... but I don't hear anybody answering.

"... Okay... I missed you," he adds.

"I missed you too."

Fuck... that hurt, this shit seems too personal for me to hear... again... why do I always end up with them and me behind a door...?!

No... no... no... arghh...

Fuck. I close my eyes as if that helps me not to hear... what I'm hearing.

I close my eyes tighter and clench my jaw.

No need to be here... they have a fucking place to do this... 

"I love you, Jennie."

"I love you too, now go."

I... it's like a fucking knife slid into my chest and stayed there... I feel numb, my mouth is open to be able to breathe underneath this pressure I feel in my chest. My throat starts to hurt but I don't want to let myself break... without even noticing I let a tear fall. Not here, buddy... 

*elevator doors closing*

*door closing*

And... silent.

I open cautiously the door to the hallway. Nobody is here. 

I walk fast towards my door. 

I enter and go to my bedroom. I jump onto my bed, which is in the right corner of my room against the walls. I grab my pillow and hug myself.

~ I missed you too ~ 

I place my hands on my head, making pressure.

Stop!

~ ~

I turn to the ceiling and punch the bed with my fists.

Fucking stop!

~ I love you Jennie ~

~ I love you too ~

I can't stop myself from keeping replaying their conversation...

I desperately get up, grab my TV remote and put the TV on.

...

I stayed on my bed, lying down, hugging myself, facing the wall... the TV in the other room helped me to ease my thoughts.

The first time I hugged myself I felt like a loser, but now it's pretty normal... I'm like... come here, loser... character development if you ask me.

I chuckle tiredly.

What are we doing...?

I breathe deeply and turn around to face the clarity of my window that is right next to my headboard.

What are we going to do...?