Cheers to Senior Year • books 1-4

Stupid Mascara

WARNING: May include mentions of rape. No nothing will be graphic. But if you feel uncomfortable with it, then please skip over it. Thank you.

Paige POV

I open the door to my house to find my mum sitting down in her chair watching the news. She was dressed in her scrubs and I'm guessing she was about it leave for work.

"Good evening dear," she says still looking at the TV.

I don't answer her but I walk into the Kitchen. I put my phone on the counter and open the fridge to get some water my throat was dry as crap.

"Paige?" I hear her call out and I still ignore her.

I didn't want to talk. I felt like the second I open my mouth, I'd end up breaking down and crying. And I just don't break down or cry.

"Paige?" I hear mother say. I turn around and see her standing at the doorway.

Her mouth hung open and she walked closer to me, "Paige, sweetheart what's wrong?"

I shake my head and give her a forced smile, "There's nothing wrong mum. Why would something be wrong?"

"Dear," she said sounding worried, "Your mascara is running."

I raise a hand to my face and wipe. I look down at my hands and see that they were covered in a wet black substance known as my mascara. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying.

'Stupid Mascara, Stupid Tears, Stupid Feelings.' I think to myself.

It felt like my chest got tighter as I tried to hold everything together.

I gave a small laugh, "Oh, I didn't even notice. Silly me."

"Paige," my mum said stepping closer to me and I stepped back, "What on earth is upsetting you?"

When I think about it, my mom hasn't seen me cry much. The last time I cried in front of her I was about 7 years old and daddy's funeral. This is ten years later and she hasn't seen a tear since.

"It's nothing mum," I say backing towards the other exit of the Kitchen which lead strait to the stairs, "I'm perfectly fine. You should get to work soon, you wouldn't want to be late."

"Paige-" she starts but I cut her off with a yawn.

"I am so tired!" I say raising my hand to my mouth, "I think I'm gonna turn in early. So have a good night mum and I'll see you in the morning, and tell Joe I said hi."

I hear her call out my name two more times as I run up the stairs.

I open my door and turn on my light. I swear I need to change up my room. My room was painted purple and had white swirls and stars painted all over it. I had wanted it to look like this back when I was fourteen. Back when I wanted to cover myself up with innocence even though it clearly wasn't there. Back when I wasn't... Me.

A lot of people say High School changes you. I could say that's true, but I changed way before high school... High school just showed my true colors.

'When did it all start going wrong...' I think to myself as I walk into my room, though I knew the exact moment... The exact day, hour, minute, and second it happened.

I walk over to my dresser and open the drawer. This drawer was more of a large memory box.

There were several picture of me and my friends, of old family members back in Norwich, of when I was younger with my parents.

I pick up one picture and smile. It was of me, my dad, and my mum. I was about five years old and we all had red lips from the cherry snow cones we were eating.