Cheers to Senior Year • books 1-4

What Kinda Man Were You?

Paige's POV

I'm seeing the pain, seeing the pleasure
Nobody but you, 'body but me, 'body but us
Bodies together
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always
I'd love to wake up next to you
I'd love to hold you close, tonight and always
I'd love to wake up next to you

I groan softly as Pillowtalk by Zayn Malik continued to play.

I sighed and switched the song hoping for something that would put me in my feelings.

It's three in the mornin and everybody already in bed
We're tired and were yawning but I got somethin else in mind instead.
Cause I've been trying to hold these urges back baby all day
We're hand and hand, body on body I still want you in my space.

I groan even louder as On Your Way by Austin Mahone played. I switched the song once again and prayed for something better.

And I hate to say I love you
When it's so hard for me
And I hate to say I want you
When you make it so clear
You don't want me

"I hate you music," I mumble as I unplug my headphones as Not in That Way by Sam Smith began to play, "I mean not really... Just at this particular moment I do."

I sighed and got out of my bed, stumbling my way downstairs.

"Well don't you look like sunshine this morning?" Mum asked as she gave me a kiss on my forehead, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Dying would probably feel more enjoyable." I groan as I laid my head on the counter and sit down on the stool.

"Don't say that." She said with a sigh as she put a plate of food I front of me, "Eat."

"Not hungry." I say while pushing the plate away from me, then looked at it again and decided to take the bacon off of the plate and eat it.

"Seem hungry to me." She said with a laugh.

"Well I'm not." I said with a mouthful of bacon, "It's just, if there's something I want to eat, I'll eat it."

She sighed again, "When are you going to start acting normal again?"

I shrug, "When oranges taste like apples."

"Well Lookie here," she said to me while holding up an orange, "This taste like an apple."

"Sure it does." I mumble while grabbing the piece of toast off the plate as well.

She sighed, "Paige, darling cheer up some."

"I don't want to," I say to her, "I want to sit her and cry about it. Just let me do that will ya?"

"You've had breakups before Paige," she said to me, "You were never this upset over them."

"I'm not upset over this break up either." I say to her.

"Then why are you so sad?" She asked me.

"Because I'm upset that there could be a chance of never getting back together." I say while tossing the toast back on the plate.