Turn It Up

Confessions

Pam was in shock, that isn't exactly what she expected him to confess to her like that. He was..gay? Who actually would have thought that. In all honesty, she thought that this date/get together was just that, a date. But in fact it wasn't. Pam took a long moment to think about what to say next and she realized it was classic Rami. Perhaps her feelings for Fergal were a little more obvious than she actually realized and he was just being a good friend to her, perhaps he had feelings for Fergal himself and this was about to get SUPER awkward..She sincerely hoped that was not the case. At all. "You're..I..Really? How long?" Pam couldn't help but beam a smile at her friend, this had to be super liberating for him to confess something like this and for her to be told, whether it be told first or last, she was still told personally and didn't have to find out through the old rumor mill. Rami smiled a bit and began to tap his foot against the ground, he himself couldn't believe how easily he was able to just tell Pam his innermost secret. But then again; this was Pam. The woman who would literally take any secret to the grave with her if need be and wouldn't think twice about doing all she can to ensure that it remained a secret. "Uh. You are the..well, first person that I've broken this to. And for how long? Practically forever. Being with women hasn't ever really felt right or okay to me and to be honest I just never identified with other guys like that." Rami had kept this bottled up...his whole life? Wow..How he managed to not burst with the frustration of having to hide his true self from the world must have been excruciatingly painful at times. While he got to see other couples, and people be happy to the world, he had to remain hidden..Keeping his interests in the dark for probable fear of being judged and hated on by the entire world. That really hit home with Pam, and here she sat; trying to find justice in not pursuing the man that she was rapidly falling for..And for what reason? Fear.

"That is incredible, Rami. Like honestly.." She reached across the table and took his hand into hers with a giant, child like smile. "I'm really proud of you for telling someone, and for that someone to be me is wicked awesome!" She let out a giggle and squeezed his hand gently. Rami joined in on the fun laugh, the mood had taken a sharp U-Turn around and returned to the happy and cheerful mood that it was before Pam had a minor freak out attack. Now she had to level with him. She had to try and make sure that he knew how much she trusted him. Even though her secret isn't particularly..scary for anyone to really know; I mean hell, who WOULDN'T have a giant crush on Fergal. The guy is one of a kind. Rami sensed that the mood was back in good graces and the evening was coming to an end. He didn't want it to really though, they were having fun and both of them hadn't even realized that they were there for hours at this point. And neither of them really wanted to leave. The simple fact that she could spend hours with one of her best friends in the whole world and not even realize how much time has gone by was a feat in of itself now a days. For there were a handful of people that simply didn't deserve the time of day and yet demanded all of Pam's decreasing free time. "So..I know there was something you wanted to tell me. I can see it on your face. It's right behind those cute little brown eyes you have." Rami raised his eyebrows as he questioned Pam, he knew there was that little smidgen of information that she hadn't confessed to him just yet, and he wasn't going to let this evening end before she got that out of her system and release any kind of bad energy. "Oh yea. Uh. About that.." Pam wasn't really expecting to be put on the spot like that, but hey. Here we are..and now she needed to figure out how to make it not sound bad..but also confess the truth.

She didn't know how to take the confrontation, she was all too confused about this whole issue with Fergal. And sadly due to their lack of communication that is just what it has become; an issue. "Well I just. You see, uh. I.." Pam was struggling to put it in words, which was new for her. Being notorious for her talkative nature and her ability to talk about anything to anyone for a long time. But this was different, this was her heart..This was something that wasn't to be taken lightly, or to be joked about, tossed around, anything but pampered would not be acceptable to Pam. Her heart had been badgered before, she didn't want that to happen again. Her blood began to flow rapidly through her veins, her heart began to pound inside of her chest, she was dabbling in something right now that truly frightened her. "C'mon Pammy, what is it? What has you in such a tizzy. Actually, let me rephrase..WHO has you in such a tizzy. It's gotta be a person, yea? I see it in your eyes. I just can't figure out if it's a good tizzy, or a bad one.." Rami was trying to deduce the situation and hopefully reduce her explanation to just a few words or perhaps even a few sentences. "Yea..it is a person..A very special person. He is..just special to me.." Pam began to blush as she felt her stomach fill up with butterflies, just talking and thinking about Fergal made her go into a teenage love fit. Her knees felt week as her feet rested upon the floor. Trying to gather her composure so she didn't embarrass herself in front of her friend, she cleared her throat and looked over at Rami, "Should I just spit it out already? You're getting impatient aren't you.." "No no no no, you take your time Pam. You don't need to rush into anything with me. You should know that." Rami tried to immediately make her feel better about this. Pam felt a pinch inside of her heart, she felt something grasp at her insides and she couldn't hold it back anymore. She took a quick moment to think about how she wanted to actually word this confession; for his was so important, she had to make sure that how MUCH she cared for Fergal was really..Noticed. And noticed easily.

"I love Fergal." Her eyes widened with what words just spilled out of her mouth. She didn't intend to say all of THAT! Damn it Pam..She felt her emotions devour every single part of her being. She felt it take hold of her, that sappy love feeling. Just saying it made her head spin, her heart beat quicken, and her legs quiver. Immediately blushing like mad, she looked down and hoped her dark brown hair would cover up her bright red cheeks. She probably looked so stupid right now, she probably looked so ridiculous.."Oh my god..That's adorable Pam. I don't blame you to be honest. Have..have you told him yet?" Rami was so caught off guard by how..serious this was. Pamela. His little happy hugging Pamela was in love. And from how she just reacted to her own words, she was head over heels in love with Fergal. Goodness gracious, that truly was precious in his eyes; it was something so raw and just amazing to see. She was bathing in the flame of love and it looked like she didn't know how to get a grip on it. That is where he saw the problem. "You need to find him and tell him. Like. Now. Pam, if this is really how you feel? You can't waste time telling me about it, I'll pay for dinner, go to his place like, ten minutes ago. Got it??" Rami was trying to play matchmaker as well as hopefully help her out with her fear. "This isn't something to sit on..Please, go on and get your man." Rami winked playfully as Pam looked up. Both of them exchanged giggles and smiled gently as Pam quickly rose to her feet, walked over to Rami and hugged him so gently he almost didn't realize she did it. He wrapped an arm around the small woman and whispered, "Good luck buddy." As she rose up, she smiled and nodded, "Thank you, so much Rami.."

This wasn't exactly how Fergal planned on spending his Friday night. On his floor sat a box of tissues that he has become best friends with. Cleaning out his eyes and blowing his nose..He felt defeated, life had finally won. It was giving him something that he finally had wanted for years and years and years..Only to take it away from him as soon as he felt like he couldn't be hurt. This was a new pain. He had been injured before, it was nothing. Physical pain is infinitely easier to manage than an emotional thrashing. His heart felt like a cat had tap-danced on it. Digging the sharp claws inside of his tender, weak heart. His blood ran cold, his forehead was cold..He felt absolutely horrible at this very moment. Not speaking a word in hours, his lips were practically stuck together at this point. But in all honesty? He didn't even care. His best friend had secured someone who he genuinely felt as if he fell in love with. As if he really even knew what love felt like in the first place. He sat up slowly and hung his head low, he was dizzy, Fergal hadn't eaten a sliver of food in hours. After the incident at work he didn't even want to consider the thought of doing anything for himself. The ONE thing he could have done for himself, the one thing that he craved more than any championship, than any item, than any...THING..and he blew it. He systematically lost the one thing that he needed to complete his life and make him feel whole again. He raised his head up, feeling a sharp pain set in on his left temple, great. A migraine was just what he needed to complete the night. Just what he needed to realize that he truly has hit rock bottom and there was nothing he could do to raise his state up from the rubble. Rain began to slam onto the Earth from outside, and in dramatic fashion as well. This was a self induced hell, it was something he had done by accident, but nevertheless, he had done it to himself. This was the worst kind of pain. Pain inflicted by others is one thing. There usually is justification as well as it is always easier to deal with when you didn't inflict it upon yourself. But of course, inside his dark thoughts..He did this to himself. He has to endure this, the hellish schedule he was going to have to prepare for at work was dawning on him as well. Realizing the draft was imminent and Paul had made it very obvious to him personally that he would be going to RAW was something he should be excited for. But he couldn't; he wouldn't let himself get excited for something that right now, after this mistake, he didn't feel like he even deserved a shred of something good in his life. Fergal slammed his eyes shut, pinching them tightly and placing his hands on his forehead, his whole world felt like it was spinning round and round on him right now. This migraine was bad..he hadn't had one in a long time, not like this. Headaches were common in the world of Professional Wrestling, I mean c'mon now, you're constantly taking bumps and falling down. It's only a real matter of time before you feel it in every part of your body. As Fergal sat there, on his couch in the darkness..He heard the rain continue to downpour outside. A crack of thunder was heard and he didn't move an inch..Even after the ridiculously close thunder from outside. But he also heard a different noise. What sounded like..knocking at his door. He slowly turned his head to look over and he..he heard it again. He wasn't hallucinating this..Approaching the door slowly, he unlocked both locks he had in place and opened it. He saw a soak and wet Pam, her poor hair and dress were drenched from the rain and she was panting, and visibly petrified with how this would go. But as she saw how..distraught he was, she whimpered, "Oh my god..Fergal.." She closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself as close as she possibly could.