Turn It Up

Pizza And Rainy Days

The car ride to Fergal's apartment was sure to be fun, April and Pam always knew how to have a good time no matter what they were doing. "So honestly.. Is he good in bed?" April squirmed at her own question, but soong giggled to show this was only a joke, and that she was practically mocking the traditional conversations held by girls in private. Pam went right along with the stupid joke, "Oh yea, he's like a destroyer in bed." They both laughed loudly now and Pam was forced to stop at a red light. It was good to have people in your life that genuinely cared about you and especially when times got tough? That's when you found out who truly had your back, and who truly was full of shit. "I can't believe my little unicorn is gonna be a wife soon. Goodness me, I remember when you were a freakin' baby. And now look at you. All grown up, hot as hell. Getting married to a doofy Irish boy." April smiled and was truly proud of/happy for Pam, it was a far cry from when they first met. Neither of them really knew where their collective lives would take them, who would be involved in it.. But since day one they have been like sisters, second life partners even. But now? It was a happy day, Pam got some help she sorely needed, April was proud of that, and was overjoyed with the fact that it worked. And now they get to have pizza with, said doofy Irish boy, and watch movies all night. "That really means alot, coming from you April. Honestly. I mean, who would have thought that three years ago I would be here, today. With you, with him. In WWE, Women's Champion? I beat you at Wrestlemania. I mean come on dude, it doesn't get much sweeter than that!" Pam giggled and April playfully scoffed, "Yea yea you beat me whatever. I get it, WE ALL SAW OKAY!" they both laughed again and the car started moving. Pam still felt her insecurities, her weight was a new fear of hers that was developing now. Fergal was friends with Lexi, and April. Both women were tiny, in stature and weight. So is that what he truly likes? Tiny little things like that? Pam was no short girl, by any stretch of the imagination. That she had no control over, but her weight? That was something she entirely could.. And possibly wanted to get down. Pam was literally only about a hundred and twenty pounds, she was a little thicker, but it was because of her build, Pam was extremely muscular and toned up, her belly was literally non-existent. But her mind was damaged, damaged to the point where she felt like she needed to be smaller in order to compete with the likes of April and Lexi.. This is one of those times where her brain began to run away from her and there was nothing that could prevent it from doing so. April reached over and punched her arm gently. "Hey, wake up squirt. You gotta drive here, I'm not trying to die today." She smiled and Pam snapped out of her trance like state that she was just in. "Oh, sorry babes. I'm good." She really wasn't, but began driving anyways.

Pam continued driving, all the while she was quiet and her mind was most certainly, well, not quiet. She continued to ponder the idea of purging, or the idea of just not eating all that much anymore to try and get this figure she assumed Fergal was really looking for in a woman. Her brain was in overdrive mode right now, playing out scenarios like the time she thought she was pregnant. The human mind is a magical thing, it really can dictate the feelings of relaxation, pure and calm relaxation, and pure and utter panic, anxiety, nausea. There are so many things that the brain can do and it really is both incredible and petrifying all at the same time.. Note to everyone, if you're having these kinds of thoughts. Don't fuck with them, talk to somebody, get some help. You don't need to, nor deserve to suffer like that alone. Not ever.. "Hey we're close now Pam!"

The joy of not having to drive very soon was finally setting in on Pam, she had been driving well, the entire time now and it was about time they got to Fergal's apartment. Pam was still thinking all of those things that she obviously should NOT be thinking about, the pain of feeling like she wasn't exactly what he wanted was one that she didn't really know how to handle. Fergal was such a sweetheart, and he was such a man of high taste. If she felt like he wasn't into her anymore? Or that he desired a specific image? She would change that to ensure that he doesn't leave. Of course Pam is gonna do the dumbest fucking thing you could ever do in a situation like this, which is not talk to anyone even though she just experienced the power of therapy and talking your feelings out instead of just containing them until the next time they almost spill out. The irony was drenched all over this increasingly uncomfortable situation. Pam pulled into Fergal's driveway and April yawned, she has grown sleepy during this car ride, possibly due to the rain.. It had to be the rain. She looked over at Pam who was now pale in the face, immediately she turned into mama April. "Whoaaa, what happened? Pam, honey, are you okay??" April grabbed Pam by the forearm and immediately felt cold, Pam was fucked up right now and it was all her own doing, she created this monster inside of her head, and yes you really can't hold her to blame for it and all, but she is the one who conjured up this monstrosity known as her insecurity. Actions taken by April and Fergal didn't particularly help this issue out, them getting closer only fed into her insecurity and made her feel even lower than she did the last time this happened. Since the fight backstage, she drifted closer to her, and then apart, almost to the point of not even speaking anymore. Pam shivered, her eyes had tears forming and then they lightly streamed down her cheeks, "Let's go inside AJ, I wanna get some food in my belly." That was actually, the LAST thing she wanted to do, but it was a good out, and a decent way to get away from this brewing problem. April knew something was up when Pam called her AJ, she never called her AJ, at least not recently. But instead of prodding which is what she would have done given the circumstances were different, she decided to go along with this, but keep like a hawk eye sight on her at all times, she was not going to let her little Pammie get fucked up like this and not be able to at least lend a hand in the slightest. April nodded and opened up her door, getting out and immediately drenched in the hard rain. Both ladies ran up the steps and Fergal was already there, door semi open and when they got there he opened it up for them. "Holy shit it's raining so hard!! I feel like if the wind blew hard enough you'd see a flyin' April!" Fergal laughed at April's joke and Pam did too, but.. Quietly. Fergal embraced Pam in a warm, welcoming hug. Followed up by a swift kiss on the lips. "Hey baby girl." He smiled down at her as he held her little body close to his, "Hi darling."

April watched this unfold and felt like a proud parent, she systematically has made things just a little better than they were yesterday. After Fergal and Pam's loving embrace ended, Fergal turned to April, "C'mere you!" April laughed and hugged Fergal quickly. He looked back at Pam, "So how did it go? Did it help any?" He looked back at April and Pam cleared her throat, "It went really well. I'm surprised honestly on how crazy I really am. You could almost confuse me for a tiny skipper from New Jersey. April rolled her eyes, "Oh, ha ha ha. So clever miss I'm a hugger all the time. Ferg is there pizza yet? This 'tiny crazed skipper from New Jersey', needs to get her pizza fix on." Fergal laughed at this exchange and nodded, "Pizza should be here literally any minute now. I ordered it in advance so we wouldn't have to wait the full.. Forty two minutes I have been."

"ARE YOU ORDERING FROM NEW JERSEY!? FORTY TWO MINUTES HOW EVEN." April exclaimed, it was funny honestly how she was so used to pizza being delivered in no more than thirty five minutes, that hearing this much time was almost ludicrous to even hear. Fergal shook his head, "No, I didn't. You asshole. But I did order it from a freaking torrential downpour having Florida." Fergal smartly replied, to which April smirked a bit, "So you mean just a normal day in Florida, right?" Fergal shrugged. "Pretty much honestly." All three of them laughed and Pam was trying to shake her dark thoughts right out of her head, she was trying so badly to deal with these inner demons and try really really hard to make sure that she does actually eat the pizza when it gets here. The height thing was beginning to take hold, Fergal's friends, the girls of course, are significantly shorter than Pam is, all three of them are shorter.. That was really beginning to fuck her mind up in the way in which she did NOT want.. She motioned for the couch, "Is it cuddle time?" Fergal looked back at his innocent woman, she was so pure and amazing just to even look at, Fergal nodded with a smile, "I'd say so honey." Just as he was going to walk, the door had a hard three knocks on it. "Shit. Nevermind, I'll be right there Pam.." Fergal walked over towards the front door and opened it, the poor pizza delivery girl was drenched and looking cold as hell. Fergal felt so bad when he took the three boxes from her, "Here, lass." Fergal gave her a fifty dollar tip for her trouble. "Thank you sir!" She smiled, and that was honestly all Fergal wanted to do was to just.. Make people happy and make people smile. As he closed the door and turned around, he saw that April and Pam were already watching Captain America movie, and cuddling on the couch. Fergal smiled lightly and looked down, he walked back over after locking his front door, he walked over and put the boxes on the coffee table. April was softly stroking Pam's hair, rubbing the woman's head very very gently. Fergal walked behind the couch so he didn't block the television. He sat down on the other side of Pam and wrapped his arm around her gently, April stopped cuddling for a moment to grab a slice of pizza. She devoured the slice in a matter of moments. Fergal's eyes widened, "Hey hey hey.. Slow down AJ, you can't just eat something like that, THAT fast. You'll get sick y'know." April looked over at him with an amazing look on her face, "Honestly Ferg, Shush. I wanna eat pizza, the way I wanna eat pizza. And if I barf, then consider that a casualty of war." Fergal laughed and Pam did too. She was having a minor anxiety attack and that's why she honestly wasn't too keen on laughing or even speaking. If she said more than three words, her shaky voice would surely blow her bad cover.

Fergal rubbed Pam's arm gently and he looked down at her, whispering. "Hey, do you feel alright Pam? You haven't even touched the pizza I got for us yet.." Pam mumbled something quietly and Fergal just held her close, he wasn't THAT dense. He knew something had crept its way inside of her mind and was making a foul nest of anxiety inside. He could do nothing but try and stop the bleeding at this point, "Look, I don't know what's wrong, I don't know what I said to scare you. But I love you, that tiny psychopath" April butted in, "I HEARD THAT" Fergal smiled and continued, "She loves you too. Just relax, whatever is on your mind, just blow it away. Remember that I'm always here. I love you from head to toe, inside and out. Please, relax and eat pizza with us?" Pam lifted her head, she silently thanked him by swiftly kissing him on the cheek. "I love you too." Sometimes all you needed was a kind word or two, two be reminded that you aren't transparent.. Pam picked up a piece of pizza and April smiled, "AYEE That's my girl!" Pam lightly laughed, feeling her happiness slowly inch its way back inside of her, "Shuddup April." She smiled at her tiny friend, then back at Fergal. Being loved is something that you can't even put into words.. Pam can't even comprehend it right now.