Turn It Up

God Status

A day is quite a long time, especially when you're looking forward to something special later in the night. It really sucked when you had to somehow push through the day knowing that you have something super important planned, in Fergal's case, he was quite excited about finally having some time with Pam, date night is what they were playfully calling it. Trying to ignore the fact that an amazing night was hiding in the shadow of a long, dreadful day.. It only made it feel like it was going to take way longer to happen. Signings were taking up a vast majority of the day, as well as news appearances, just trying to get the good name of the WWE out there and make it look far more amazing and opportunistic than it really was. Fergal knew that a lot of the things he was saying was recycled garbage that everyone else had already said to the media to put in a good word for the company. As great as it was to be there, they did have favorites, they did have an agenda already pre-planned and scheduled. And no MATTER WHAT, popularity disregarded here, if their agenda said you lose? Even if the fans are screaming for you, you still lose. It really was fucked up and kind of unfair if you think about it. Fergal had to watch from the sidelines as the fans screamed and begged for Pam to be there, and to be champion. But hey, they didn't do it. Sounds like WWE to be a hundred percent honest. The more you support a Superstar, the more they DON'T give them to you. His head was spinning round and round in circles repeatedly on a loop. It felt like his head was submerged underwater for hours and then he jerked it up and out of the water. He was beginning to feel like an animal in a zoo, people clammering around him as he was doing interviews, just trying to get a look in at him. It was such a weird, not cool feeling inside him. He loved the fans, but after a while he hadn't really come to grips with just HOW crazy they would be getting. He looked out of the window during one interview and looked at them, obviously beaming a confident like smile, even though inside he was lowkey freaking out. They went so nuts for him, it was almost.. Scary. Kind of. He guessed that he finally made it to the big leagues.

Being a WWE Superstar wasn't cut out for everybody. Some people hated the travel, some couldn't handle the schedule. Fergal was struggling to handle the attention. It wasn't like he'd bolt out on the company or anything, but not having Pam with him and trying to handle a certain fear like this was hard, it just was difficult for him to figure out a fine balance between Superstar, and person. Once you got to a certain level of fame, people didn't look at you like you were normal, I mean come on, you're a SUPERSTAR, not a person. That was the problem, they thought of you above other people, when in reality all Fergal needed from time to time was a fan like that couple in the hotel lobby who just were so happy to see them, and appreciative of what he does. Not these fans, 'CAN I TOUCH YOUR FACE. I I I JUST WANNA TOUCH YOUR FACE.' No. Those people are terrifying. And without Pam to guide him through the minefield, Fergal felt lost, confused and cornered. He heard war stories about people approaching Brock Lesnar in airports, and not getting the warmest welcome from the Beast. It was common for his monstrous persona to take hold in real life. Rejecting some fans away from him due to him wanting space. Fergal understood now, be nice to fans, but sometimes they need to know you have needs and are also a human being, just a normal, air breathing, water drinking human being. You are no god, and people need to stop putting you up on such a high perch. At the end of all of his Public Appearances, Fergal felt like his brain was applesauce now. He was done being Finn.

He just wanted to jump off a bridge into the middle of the ocean and disappear. Fergal felt like he was stuck in the jaws of inevitable failure, the fans were driving him crazy right now. Not a bad crazy like, 'Fuck off!' but a crazy crazy like he was questioning himself.. It was sad, but now he could go back to the hotel and see Pam. Thank god. He got into his Uber and was off. Hanging his head low, the Uber driver recognized his name. Fergal had one more fan to make happy. This time he could relax for it was just one person. Signing an autograph and being as pleasant as he could be. It felt like his mortality was being drained out of his body and replaced with some kind of deity essence.. It really sucked to feel like.. Like less than a human being. Or in this case.. Far more than a normal human. Fergal got out of the uber rather quickly, just wanting to hide and never go out again. Goodness gracious, he just needs a moment to gather himself. Being an introvert really didn't help his cause all that much either. He always did what he could to make sure that each and every fan got what they wanted from him, and in doing so he made himself feel more like a service rather than a human being. Getting in the elevator, he hit the button and leaned heavily against the wall, it felt like his brain was filled to the brim with water. Like a violent torrential current, his mind was being tossed around. He sighed quietly and squinted his eyes to relieve some tension from his temples.. Fergal was in trouble. His chest tightened on him, the elevator dinged and he got out. Gingerly walking out, he looked for his hotel number and really felt like he was going to almost faint. What the shit was happening right now, can he go one day without feeling like death was wrapping its cold tendrils around him? He slid the keycard into the handle and opened it up, Pam turned her head, "Babe?" When she heard no response, she poked her head around the corner to see her babe alright.. Sweaty, pale, hardly standing upright. Instantly she sprang up and hobbled over to him, her knee was acting up again, but she had news about that. Sadly the news had to wait for him to stop, well, dying. "Holy moly, babe what happened??" Fergal latched onto her and Pam painfully got him to the bed. It was painful due to his entire body weight being on her, and her knee.. But for him? She would lift a fucking car and throw it across the world. Pam stroked his cheek, "Breathe.. Breathe Fergal baby.."

Pam, in her years of depression understood what was happening to him. Fergal was having an anxiety attack, and a really really bad one if that. "Shhh, I'm here, my Prince.. Just relax.. Get your breath back.. Breathe slowly, in.. and out.." She rubbed his back as Fergal began to take her advice. His breathing became slower and slower, finally he was calming down and it felt.. Good to be taken care of like a human would. He leaned on her and Pam puffed her bottom lip out gently, Fergal was such a baby, he needed her so badly, but then again, does being dependent on a loved one define you as being a baby? Or does it define you as being madly in love with them. Because honestly, Fergal was so in love with her, if she ever left someday he really wouldn't know how to react, there is no tomorrow without her in his life. "I'm sorry I came in all goofy like that.. I think I just freaked out a bit.." Pam nodded, "You had an anxiety attack, I'm really sorry I couldn't go with you to your interviews.. I had a doctor's appointment though. Like you asked me to." Fergal nodded, "Yea? How'd it go babe. I was thinking about it all morning and well.. Afternoon.. It is afternoon isn't it? I literally have no concept of time right now.." Pam giggled, "Yea it's.. Four thirty." Fergal sighed quietly, "Jeez. All freakin' day.." She nodded, "I know.. I know.." Fergal looked over at her now, "What happened? What did they say was wrong?"

Pam exhaled deeply, lifting her dress up slowly, Fergal looked down and saw a giant knee brace latched onto her. Pam bit down on her bottom lip, they have to run more tests, but right now I sprained my MCL and my quad.. So I have to have this on as often as possible.. Also? I can't wrestle until they say so.." She hung her head down low, knowing this was the end of her momentum. Again, WWE not capitalizing on popularity was something that was super common, it happened to the best talent, at the worst time. Now was Pam's turn. "I'm so sorry babe. Let's just hope you caught it early, yea?" Fergal leaned in and kissed the poor woman on the cheek gently. "You were right, thank you for being right.." Pam squirted out a tear.. Fergal caught it with his finger and felt horrible, "It'll be okay baby girl.. Okay? Just have faith, and be positive." She nodded and slowly got up, letting her little dress fall down, it didn't go down too far, but it covered her knees, luckily shielding her robotic looking knee. "You ready to go?" Fergal said as he stood up, luckily for him, he was already in a really nice, expensive ass suit and he didn't need to get ready. Pam looked unbelievably beautiful. As usual to be honest, Fergal always found her to be flawless, he always found her to be the most incredible woman in the world. "Yea I'm ready. Let's go get some yummy yummy food!" Pam giggled and hooked her arm into Fergal's as the approached the door. Getting into the elevator and being as happy as humanly possible. All the fear and doubt from earlier that nestled itself into his heart was gone, he knew he was not invincible, it really was too bad that some people looked at him like some kind of god figure. That couldn't be further from the truth obviously, it really sucked to see that happen, there was no worse feeling than knowing that people don't look at you like you're a human being. Let's not even try to tackle social media, that was its own beast and that beast was unstoppable. Pictures of Pam always escaped people's cameras and went right to the internet, the most popular thing that ever got there was Pam's butt.. People over sexualized the wrestlers in the world way too much. Not just in WWE, but TNA, ROH, NJPW, everywhere that women wrestled they were looked at like sexual toys. Fergal has been driven into silent rage moments before due to this over-sexualization of his precious Pam.. He usually posted things on Twitter and Instagram occasionally, never looking at comments on his stuff, or hers.

Arriving at the restaurant, Fergal erased all anger and doubt from earlier, and even as recent as a few minutes ago. The car ride there was quiet due to Pam thinking, Fergal was too and well, quiet happened. They both got out and Fergal helped his injured woman walk towards the door where he opened it for her. "Thank you sweetheart!" Fergal nodded and took a bow. The rather nice receptionist sat them down, Fergal admired Pam yet again, typical Fergal being such a heartthrob. "I love you, Pam." Pam looked over at him and blushed like mad, it was crazy how not used to that she was when it was a surprise. "I love you too baby." She reached over top of the table and grabbed at his hand, it was in that moment that all the pain from the day, all the weird crazy fans just became a memory to him. It all made sense to him, Pam was the most important person to him and she was the most important person to him. Both of them at basically the same time, had the same thoughts. The pain from everything was gone, and replaced with a nice, gentle warm happy feeling. Their collective future was going to always be okay so long as they had each other to lean on when they needed to. It looked like the night was going to be safe, and they only had each other to thank for that. Let's be honest here.. Love really conquered all.