Turn It Up

Leaving You

Sadly the dream of being with Fergal was over, and he was leaving this morning to go back onto the road. Pam was up before him.. She just couldn't find her way into a comfortable sleep. She didn't want him to go, distance was something she didn't want to have in between them. Pam and Fergal did not sleep together last night, they didn't want to just yet.. For things weren't figured out between them. Pam rolled out of bed and slid her slippers onto her little feet. She fixed her hair up just enough to be presentable and stood up. She adjusted her shirt before getting herself more ready to see him.. Her shoulder was killing her right now and she needed his help with her bra. That was going to be a super conversation. No, she couldn't ask him for that help.. She had to do this on her own. She grabbed her black and purple bra and struggled big time to put it on. The one shoulder was super easy to get on, the other one? Well. This was the moment where she decided that a strapless bra would be best. She gave up on the black and purple one and was stuck with just a plain white strapless one. Pam got it on and slid her tank top back up over her shoulder. The pressure from the tank top was barely noticeable, this morning she was so sore, her shoulder felt like shit. So a bra that typically drags down on your shoulders probably isn't a good idea. She finalized her hair, and adjusted her leggings. They somehow managed to get turned over on her and her butt looked HILARIOUS. But she didn't want Fergal to see her looking like a fool, she wanted to look as irresistible as possible. Pam finished getting dressed and ready, she fixed her sling as she walked down her steps. Fergal was sitting up, but he was clearly not all there just yet. She quietly walked behind the couch and saw him grab at his neck.. This is where she started to feel guilty. "Good morning Fergie.." She walked over to him and sat down on the sofa next to him. Fergal grunted and stretched, "Mornin' lass. How'd you sleep?" He asked quietly as his voice was raspy and grunty. Pam shrugged, "Well if I said I slept well, I'd be a liar. So.." Pam looked down, "What are we, Fergal? I need to know before you leave.. Are we dating? Engaged again? What.. N-not dating?" She looked up at him with her giant, shiny brown eyes. Fergal woke up real fucking quickly when she asked this and got serious almost instantly. "Well. I love you. I never really stopped.. And I can safely assume you love me too. So what does that make us? Two fools who are in love but won't date? No.. I want to be with you. I wanna have you in my life taking up that slot. It isn't meant for anyone else but you." Fergal's thoughts about Alexis were still lingering, but he needed to get away from that, it was only dangerous. He loves Pam more than life itself, and he needs her.

    Pam nodded, "I do love you, so much. I don't wanna imagine my life without you, honestly.." Her words were just solidification on what Fergal had already known to be true. Pam loves him just as he thought, and she was actually alone right now.. Fergal moved closer to her on the couch and leaned in, kissing her cheek very softly. After he kissed her cheek, he pulled his head back and she smiled big. "I missed those kisses.." Her voice was quiet and she leaned in, not to kiss him, but instead burying her face into the crook of his neck and silently screaming to be held. Luckily for her, Fergal was not an idiot. He wrapped his arm around her tiny body and held her close to him, softly rubbing her back in little gentle circles. "Shhh babe.. I got you.. I'm here.. I've always been here.. Through good times, through nasty times.. I've literally always been here.." Fergal was right, even when Pam was being unbearable.. Fergal NEVER left..

    The Mercedes incident.. As it's being dubbed now; was the only time in which they both mutually left one another. And that was primarily due to Pam being unable to see the truth. Now she sees clear. Her vision is not clouded with lies and bullshit anymore. Things were going to go right, and they were going to last.. "I don't want what happened last time to ever happen again.. Please never go.." Pam pleaded with him, Fergal cupped her cheek softly and rubbed it with his thumb, "I won't. You know why things happened the way that they did and that was not all on me.. I'm sorry that we fought so bad, and I'm sorry that we literally couldn't get passed it. But I didn't want to go, I never wanted to go. Someone else wanted me, and wanted me to go.." Fergal was speaking the truth yet again. His friendship with Mercedes was in his mind just a friendship, but in her mind it was not. And when he rejected her, she took matters into her own hands and blamed Fergal for it. Pam nodded slowly, "Let me at least help you pack.. I can't help much, but I wanna see you off.." She stood up and Fergal did as well. They had to go back to his apartment and pack some of his things. He'd be on tour and Pam can't remember if he's going to be overseas or not. So she may not see him for quite some time. "I'll drive, you just take it easy. That shoulder of yours seems like it's killing you today." He wrapped his arm around her waist and grabbed the keys before he began walking with her. "It is super sore.. I can't even wear a strapped bra today. Like.." She giggled quietly and Fergal raised an eyebrow, "Those ones are fun though.." He tightened his grip on her hip just momentarily and Pam knew why he did it. It was to push the sexual joke through. "Well.. Anything behind closed doors with you is fun.." They both giggled as Fergal locked his door, and walked to the car before unlocking it. Pam still wasn't really awake yet. "Don't worry, my coffee pot is set to make a pot at.. Right now actually. You'll be awake soon enough babe." Fergal's favorite toy he bought for himself was the programmable coffee pot. It really is fun, he just sets a time and as long as he has enough coffee in there as well as water? Bam. Coffee at seven in the morning, every morning. "Thank god. Cause I'm about to fall asleep right this very second." Pam giggled and got into the car rather slowly. Fergal got in as well and started it, they buckled up for safety and they were off. Pam relaxed in the seat almost too much, Fergal reached his hand over and grabbed her hand, holding it in his tightly. It was little things like this that made Pam think she wasn't even awake, it made her think that she was some kind of Disney Princess or something, and that life couldn't get much sweeter than this. Well, it almost couldn't, but that wasn't set to last for much longer..

    The car ride was quiet, and very little words were spoken. Primarily due to the fact that neither of them had coffee in their system and that was just bad. At least it wasn't as serious as April.. When that tiny fireball has no coffee in her she is a walking nightmare. A word from the wise, if a person needs coffee in the morning to wake up? Provide it to them, and don't annoy them. They're extremely dangerous. Totally kidding, but coffee is a big part of Pam's morning, as well as Fergal's, so honestly it's surprising that they had a serious conversation this early. Fergal got to his apartment and parked the car, Pam was actually almost asleep as the car was shut off. It was hilarious actually, apparently the Florida morning had her so relaxed that she was slipping in and out of a light slumber. "Hey.. Pam?" Fergal whispered quietly as he poked her side with his index finger. "Pam. Wake your ass up." He poked again and grabbed her tank top, tugging on it gently. "Paaaaam!!" He giggled and she finally opened her eyes, "Huh?"

    "We're here. Ya lazy butt. C'mon. Let's get some coffee in ya." Fergal got out of the car and shut the door behind him. He walked over to Pam's side and when he got there she had just opened the door. Fergal grabbed her hand and assisted her in exiting the vehicle. "Thank you." She spoke quietly, as the door shut and Fergal locked the car. Fergal walked with her to the front door and opened it, allowing her to enter first. "I already was almost packed anyways, but there are some last minute things that I could take with me." Fergal spoke and Pam was like a zombie walking into the kitchen, she was being lead on by the smell of delicious coffee. "Oh, okay. This might take a priority over my job. I got it babe." Fergal was kidding, but Pam was too fucking tired to really care. She grabbed a mug and then the pot. She gently filled the little mug up and opened his fridge. When she saw what coffee creamer he had she giggled, "You would have the Irish Creamer." Pam smiled and glanced over at him, "Yeah? Well you're lucky it isn't St. Patties day. I'd have at least ten of that special creamer. It's so good." Pam giggled at his little mention of St. Patrick's day, if there was ever a day where Fergal was cuter than on that one? She didn't know of it. "True.. C'mere and have a cup with me first, baby." Pam asked nicely and Fergal walked right over over to her. He put his hand on her butt gently and rubbed it softly, "Can you grab me a mug?" He asked quietly, Pam blushed at the sudden touch of his hand. "W-Well it seems like you have a handful of something else now don't ya.." She turned her head back slowly, and their lips met yet again. Fergal's other hand found its way to her hip where it grabbed on tight. He massaged her butt gently and kissed her several times. "I'm going to miss you Fergal.." Pam finally spoke and the kiss ended. Fergal remembered all those months ago when Pam felt like Fergal didn't like doing sexual things to her, and he was getting better. More boob grabbing, butt grabbing, being forward. He was doing it all now. Fergal really was trying to be the best guy for her that he possibly could be. "I'm going to miss you too.." He kissed her cheek one more time before releasing her butt and hip, moving towards the cabinet and grabbing a mug for himself. Pam poured some creamer into her mug and stirred it, finally she took a sip.. That had to be the best coffee she's ever tasted, or she was just desperate for the hot beverage and that's why it tasted so amazing. Fergal did the same, pouring the coffee, then the creamer, stirring, then drinking. They both stood in the kitchen like an old married couple, desperate for their coffee fix. "What do you have left to pack, babe?" Pam asked in between her frantic sips of the delicious drink. Fergal looked over at her and raised an eyebrow. That was odd of him to do.. "Nothing. I'm actually already packed. I just need to grab my laptop, my Switch, and chargers for all of them and I'm done.." Pam looked down after he spoke..

    She thought it was going to be a longer morning, but apparently that was not meant to be. She huffed quietly, "When am I going to see you again?" She asked with a pinch of sadness in her voice. Fergal shrugged, "I don't know yet. Details of the tour I'll know today when I go in. If we're going overseas I won't see you for a few weeks. But if not? I'll be back in like.. Five days? Something like that." Fergal drank again and Pam was visibly flustered, "When do you start your physical therapy?" Fergal questioned. Pam exhaled deeply, "Today. When you leave I'm heading to the crossfit place to start." She responded, clearly she wanted him to be there, but it was understandable that he couldn't. "You're going to do so well. Please keep me updated, baby girl." He spoke softly, Pam nodded. "Of course.. And you keep me updated too.."