Turn It Up

Separate Ways

The world didn't have color anymore. Everything was black and white. Filled with the empty void of having nothing to live for anymore. Once a person finds the love of their life.. They really can't live without them. No matter the fine print of a relationship, if you find that one person who makes you feel alive; what happens if you lose them? Fergal's entire body was numb to every single stimulant that he came across. Whether it be the enjoyment of food, or the pain from an in ring bump. He felt nothing. A million feelings should be shooting through his body but all he could do was just take them, take them as life threw more at him. But he didn't care.. His actions clearly displayed his true pain and his face.. Oh goodness his face was blank, like if there was no feeling left. People like Alexis, Savelina and Joe were becoming increasingly concerned with him and they talked in quiet about what they could do to try and pull him out of the gutter. "I don't know what I can do, I'm probably one of the biggest reasons why he's not happy anymore.. That sounds arrogant but, we were the closest you could be really without dating, y'know? He was my best friend and because of this thing with Pam.. I-I had to cut him out." Alexis confessed to Savelina after their last live event and Savelina was NOT happy with her. "You can't be serious. Right?" Alexis felt like a child who took the last cookie from the cookie jar, she didn't say a single word.. Knowing anything she would say could potentially piss Savelina off more.. No amount of justification would make any sense for doing that. "Lexi. You can't do that to someone. Honestly do you know how much he did for you when you were in the hospital? How worried he was about you? And you're just gonna throw him in the garbage like expired food?" Alexis closed her eyes tight and felt like shit. "I know okay?! You don't have to remind me how much of a piece of shit I am.." Savelina felt bad now, "No no no Lex. Girl listen to me. I didn't mean to make you feel like shit I'm just. What the hell did Pam do to you to make that go down? Honestly what happened between you guys? Did you sleep with Fergal?" That question was to be expected. Alexis shook her head, "No. Never. Fergal is engaged and I am too. I know that doesn't technically stop anything but I would never cheat on Matt. And he wouldn't cheat on Pam. No. But if you were to have asked Pam? We apparently always do." It made sense to Savelina now, Pam thought that they were having an affair and lying about it. But the evidence that Pam had was strictly observation, there was NOTHING to really suggest that they were sleeping together.. Pam was just being the crazy girlfriend who has no trust..

    Almost in some strange sort of timing, Fergal walked by the two women who were just talking about him and he didn't say a single word to them. As a matter of fact; he didn't even look over at them for a simple wave. Fergal knew it was Alexis over there, he didn't need to look to know it was her. Fergal was getting ready to leave and he was fine with leaving. Their conversation paused as the pale faced Irishman walked by them, grabbed a few things, and then proceeded to disappear into the dark. "Holy.. Shit.." Savelina broke the silence and Alexis bit down on her bottom lip fiercely. "I can't sit here anymore Savi." Alexis got off of the crate she had hopped onto and tried to see which direction Fergal went. She needed to make amends for what she did to him. Fergal after all was literally the sweetest most understanding guy almost everyone in back has ever met, why does he deserve to always be shit on? Is that old annoying saying really true that nice guys indeed finish last? Well that was NOT going to happen here..

    Alexis finally saw him walking, his head was hung extremely low and his whole body language was depressing looking. Alexis took in a deep breath, she had fear inside her heart that he would get pissed at her for doing this. But she needed to tell him and show him how sorry she was and how much she missed him. Alexis darted down the hallway, her wrestling boots clunked loudly and Fergal slowed down the closer she got. He wasn't sure who was running behind him but at the same time he didn't care. After a few loud moments, Alexis attached herself to his back, wrapping her arms tightly around his body in a giant hug. Savelina watched from the distance, "Awww.." She quietly said to herself. Fergal was not even in shock from this, no amount of anything that happens to him would make him really feel anything. "I'm so sorry Fergal." Alexis buried her face in his back and still held the hug. Fergal looked down and saw tiny little hands that had even smaller fingers. That voice.. Alexis? He put his hand on top of hers, "Are you alright, Lexi?" Fergal's voice was dead, empty of emotion and Alexis didn't lighten up her grip on him. "No. No I'm not alright. Please turn around.." Alexis' eyes were filling with tears as she saw the extent of the damage life was inflicting upon him. At this point; Alexis was taking the full blame for this, she didn't know what happened between Fergal and Pam.. and she was feeling entirely responsible. Slowly.. And I mean, SLOWLY.. Fergal turned around to see the small woman almost in tears looking up at him. "Don't cry.. What's wrong?" Fergal asked quietly as his arms didn't move, his facial expression didn't change.. This was the emptiest Fergal has ever felt.. Well he lost the love of his life.. Break, break up.. Call it what you will, Pam is NOT in his life anymore. "I'm so sorry I did this to you. I've missed you.. Can you come back into my life again?" Fergal's brain sparked, like a little machine that just peaked it's performance for the day. "Wait, this isn't your fault. Whatever this is. Whatever I have become this is NOT because of you. I've.. I've missed you too. But do not apologize because this is not your fault." Alexis was slowly coming to the realization that Fergal was not lying.. She was not fully to blame for this and now she needed to know why. "What happened.." Alexis quietly asked as she continued to analyze his face, trying to find some sign that he still.. Still felt things. For Fergal's face was that of someone who was truly sick of life. She knew what depression looked like and hey, front and center right on Fergal's face. He didn't even need to speak a single word. He raised his left hand up ever so slowly and itched his face. Since Alexis was studying him like a textbook, she saw one thing that was so blaring and in her face that she almost fell over.

    "Wait.. Where is your-" She was cut off, "Not on. We're separated right now." Fergal's lifeless voice was almost scary to listen to, it was almost like a weird calmness about the fact that Pam was not there right now. "How can you be so calm about that? What happened?" Alexis needed to know what the deal was.. "Something with Mercedes. She tried to have sex with me, remember when I told you? Yeah, well apparently how I let her down, even though I was gentle and considerate. It caused her to try and take her own life." Alexis wasn't too shocked by that honestly, she hated Mercedes for how Mercedes bullied her in NXT and injured her on SEVERAL occasions.. "When it pertains to you? Karma is a bitch. I do hope she's going to be okay though. But her having feelings for you? She deserves to be shut down like that." Fergal nodded slowly, "Let's go to get some food Ferg, My treat?" he nodded again.. Silently as always.. Alexis was so concerned with her friend, the two left the building very quickly.

    "You need to eat, c'mon now. Do you need more pickles? I see like one on that sandwich and I know damn well you can eat more than one pickle.." Leah asked a very depressed, defeated, and hungry Pam who toyed with her food like a six year old. Pam shook her head, her eyes were bloodshot from days and days of crying, she was beginning to lose weight from not eating hardly anything.. Leah didn't hear from her for several days and she had to find out why. After Pam told her what happened? And a crying session that lasted for about three hours happened; Leah ordered food for the two of them in an attempt to bring her best friend back. "Babe, I need you to eat. Please?" Leah reached over and rubbed the top of Pam's hand gently, Pam was not like Fergal. Fergal shut down emotionally and physically during this time, sure he was eating and still as healthy physically as always. But his emotions were what stopped working, almost entirely. Pam on the other hand? She was physically shutting down, emotionally she was like a fucking volatile volcano just ready to explode at a moment's notice. She looked over to Leah, "Should.. I tell him that I'll leave his life? He deserves someone so much better than me. So much more secure and confident. Someone like you. Not me. I'm a goddamn trainwreck just waiting to.. Wreck. And crash. And burn. I just don't wanna keep taking him with me Leah I can't I can't do it." Leah moved her food to the side after Pam's breakdown began, she leaned over and embraced the shivering woman in a much needed hug. "Shh shhh.. Don't talk like that sweetheart. Fergal loves you, even if you guys aren't together anymore. He isn't just going around and getting with every girl he can.. I'm willing to bet money he is so sad and depressed without you.. You guys just need some distance from each other, to really have your heads get to that same thought process of, 'I need this person SO BADLY in my life.' And guess what? It's already working." Leah softly rubbed Pam's back and smiled as she pulled away, "Now wipe those little tears off your precious little cheeks, or I can do it." Leah raised her hand up and gently wiped them away, Pam's body was shaking so badly she was probably going to shake right off of the bed she was sitting on. "I don't know if he's ever going to want to be with me again.. I'm the worst girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.." Leah shook her head, "No you are not. You my little love are so adorable and sweet and kind and funny and understanding I could go off forever but, I won't.." Pam looked over at Leah, "When did you and Bill (Big Cass) stop seeing each other.." Pam didn't know they split, possibly due to her grocery list of issues..

    Leah cleared her throat, "U-um. Well we stopped seeing each other mutually. He just felt like he needed to be single, and I agreed. It wasn't easy, but we both care about each other's future. So we had to go our separate ways. Why do you ask?" Pam had such a fucked up idea in her head she almost feared to even say it. "You should be with Fergal. Not me." Leah leaned back, shook her head and closed her eyes, "Whoa Pam. I think you need to eat, you're talkin' hella crazy right now. No. Never. I don't want to be with him. Please eat.." Leah's request after Pam's demented idea was taken up on. Pam finally began to slowly eat, she felt full after about two bites.. This whole break thing could NOT be over fast enough. Pam was slowly withering away into a shell of her former self.. But then again? This type of shit happens in a relationship where there is decently poor communication. There are problems that never get addressed and then the spiral out of control.. Typically; resulting in a breakup, or a break. Pam's tears continued to roll down her cheeks, "I miss him so much.." Leah rubbed her arm, "I-I know you do babe.."