Turn It Up

Don't Go

Pam gently ran her fingers through his hair and continued to gently massage the man's head ever so slightly. Fergal always expressed how much he enjoyed her head massages. She was such a gentle creature and it was crazy to see this happen to him. Fergal had been in isolation from mushy relationship things for almost ever. He avoided it like a disease at this stage in his life. For some reason; relationships plus Fergal equals nothing good for anybody. Which is another reason why this one was something special to him. Even after day one it was something crazy important to him. He was willing to suffer for this, he was willing to put in an insane amount of effort to see this succeed for a long, long time. Pam was the same way, she was just frightened that Fergal was too perfect at this point. He was surrounded by people all day everyday that Pam felt were more important than her and just to be honest more...better for him. I know that isn't exactly how to word that, but it is the best way to describe how she feels in her heart and mind. Even someone like Lexi and Mercedes scared her and intimidated her when it came to her precious baby. She always had to remind herself that SHE was the one who held him at night. Nobody would be able to steal him from her, besides, once she realized that Mercedes was happily taken, and Lexi was engaged it erased all doubt immediately. It was easy to fear losing the one you loved though, to be honest that is a fear that even the most confident people have in dark, quiet little moments when their mind gets a few seconds to think freely. Pam just needed to remind herself that she was the one for him and no one else was. Fergal was growing increasingly more tired and relaxed the more and more she rubbed his head like this. "Hey, baby? Are you still awake?" Pam quietly whispered, she bit down on her little bottom lip ever so slightly.

Fergal raised his head and gave her sleepy eyes, "Y-yea. I wish I wasn't though. Your head rubs are like a little piece of heaven decided to rub my head.." His words almost didn't make sense when he was at this stage of being tired. Almost on queue, Mercedes poked her head back in, "Knock knock.." She had something though that would indeed help Fergal get up and ready for the night he had to embark on. She slowly strolled in the room and had a big thing of coffee in her hands. She watched as Fergal was almost lead by the nose as he lifted his head and turned it to look over at Mercedes, "What on Earth is that amazing smell.." Mercedes and Pam both laughed at the sleepy Irishman, "It's coffee you big idiot. Here, you looked tired earlier so I figured I'd stop on back in with some and get you to wake up. You still are on the card for tonight. Don't forget that." Mercedes was worried that he wasn't getting sleep due to all this unnecessary stress of the past week. She shook her head to shake out some negative thoughts and he carefully took the cup and began taking micro sips of it. "Pam how long are you staying for? I know tapings for NXT is like, tomorrow, yea?" Mercedes was attempting to make small talk, she felt so happy when she looked over at Pam who was busy gazing at Fergal being an absolute baby. She loved him so much and it actually showed on her face. "Uhh I have to go as soon as I leave here. I need to be back and ready by tomorrow." Pam was super bummed out that she had to leave him like that, literally just getting there..But the whole point of this visit was to make things right with him and show him how much she loves him. "Aw man, that sucks really bad.." Mercedes knew that it ate Pam up on the inside to know that she wasn't able to just go with him and be on RAW..not yet.."Yea I know it really does suck..I'd rather be here with you and Fergal. So badly.."

Fergal took a break momentarily from drinking his hot beverage of awake juice and looked over at Pam, almost with big doey eyes, "You gotta leave tonight?" He wasn't actually aware that she had to leave him so early. It was something that he didn't exactly see coming. It super bummed him out to know that she had to go so fast, he hardly even got the chance to see her. Which entirely sucked ass to be quite honest, but he understood the nature of the beast at this stage in the game entirely. He finished his cup of coffee and tossed the garbage in the..garbage. Ironic, right? He walked over to Pam now who immediately felt a new sense of being bummed out as all hell. She rested her head on his stomach and he rubbed the back of her head, "I wish you could stay..At least the night..Y'know? It's just one night..But..you can't do that to them. They need you more than I do, right?" Fergal was just trying to get her to realize how important it was for her to just go and get it out of the way. It sucked badly, but she needed to do it. "Yea they do..for now. Even though I would rather get changed and work with you guys all night, I can't do that just yet..y'know?" Pam tried to even reassure herself, the inner demons she was at war with were taking their tole on her mentally..A voice was heard shouting for Mercedes from outside the room, "Crap! I think my segment is on now. I'll see you guys later, Pam," Mercedes bolted over and hugged Pam as tight as she could, "Don't stay down there too long, okay?" Before pulling away quickly, "Don't you worry. Ya pink haired goofball. I'll be back shortly.." Mercedes smiled wide and had to run out of the room really, really quickly. Fergal looked over at Pam and shook his head, "That one is strange, to be honest." "Who, Mercedes?" Fergal chuckled quietly, "Yea, she definitely is a weirdo." Pam giggled quietly and slowly began to stand up, brushing her hands down her legs slowly.."Yea..s-she is..a weirdo.." It was finally dawning on her that she was having to leave right this very second. With each moment that passed by, she stretched out an already extended visit.

Fergal noted the pain on her face, the flame of her excitement that came from seeing him was being put into shadow. "Hey..It won't be all that long sweetheart. Okay?" Fergal placed his hand on her hip gently holding the superbly depressed woman, "I-I know..I just really don't want to go.." Pam squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she possibly could. The tears were rushing into her eyes and trying to escape through the corners. One or two actually managed to get out..Fergal felt a cold gust of wind flow over his heart as he raised a finger and brushed over the stray tears. "Please don't cry, angel.." Fergal felt horrible. Pam had so many inner demons, she had so many thoughts that were so negative and dark that nobody would ever guess someone as happy and bouncy as her could even conjure such thoughts. She grinded out everyday to fight them back and make sure no one saw the dark veil that covered her pretty smile. It is exactly like that, her smile was always hiding the blackest of emotions. The dark cloud that is depression hung over her head every single day. She became a professional hugger, wrestler, and hider of depression. It was a bad thing to do, NOTE TO EVERYONE; do NOT hide depression. Nothing good comes of it. Find someone to talk to about it. No matter what. "I'm just. Crap." Pam felt more tears well up as she tried to speak, Fergal immediately yanked her into a hug and rubbed her lower back, kissing her cheek gently, and rapidly, "I know..I love you..Okay? Remember that. I am not going anywhere, except on the road..You'll be with me so soon you'll forget what it was even like to miss me. Okay?" His words were music to her ears as she tried to believe everything he was telling her.

Pam had to pull away otherwise she'd sob like an infant, "I have to go baby." His words went into her head and embedded themselves deep in her brain. She was going to keep them there and never forget them. Pam reeked of innocence, there wasn't a mean bone in that poor woman's body. She just wanted to be with her man and make sure he's okay..Make sure he isn't lonely, or sad..Or cold..God the more she thought about it the more she felt like shit over it. "Just be safe. Okay?" Pam nodded at Fergal's words and offered a weak smile, she felt her heart become shrouded in darkness. Her own personal hell was going to be trying to keep focused on the task at hand without him there to keep her head on a swivel. "I love you Ferg. Be safe tonight, got it? I'll kick your ass if you get hurt." She giggled quietly and blushed a bit over how defensive she was over him, he nodded playfully and saluted her. "Yes ma'am." Opening his arms one more time, Pam lurched forward and jumped literally into his arms. He caught her and held her up as she attacked him with kisses literally all over his face. After a few moments of a kiss onslaught, she blushed a bit, "You look good with my kisses all over your face." Fergal smiled a little bit, fighting his own sorrow back, "You missed one spot.." Leaning in and kissing her swiftly on the lips and holding it for a long, long time. "Got it.." She slowly climbed down after he spoke and shuffled her feet.."I have to go now." Neither of them wanted her to leave, but they knew that she had to go. It wasn't something that was a surprise. But here it was, the time for her to walk out of the door, and for him to go to work..Being the Demon and all. "I'll text you when I get to the airport. Okay? Please though, try and be safe. RAW is a crazy, crazy place." Pam was genuinely worried about him for some odd reason tonight. Normally she was worried, but tonight she was just a little bit more so than other nights.

Fergal nodded as Pam began to head towards the door. "Got it babe. You be safe too, okay? Anything happens you call me or Mercedes." He needed to make sure she understood that there were options if she needed any kind of help. Whether it be emergency, or just help in general. "Of course baby boy. I'll see you soon..I love you!" "I love you too sweetheart." Fergal was horrible at goodbye's. He didn't even like see you later..There was a mental block he had that if he said goodbye, that the person could potentially never be in his life ever again. That thought, in combination with Pam scared the shit out of him. She left the locker room, and Fergal felt his knees get weak under him. He literally stumbled over to the bench and dropped down to it, hanging his head as low as it could go without detaching itself from his body at this point. He felt his eyes well up with water immediately as his mind thought about her, and her beautiful smile..That cute giggle and oh god he's crying now. A quiet set of whimpers escaped him as he tried his very best to keep his composure, Fergal was a bad crier, when he did; his eyes usually sunk in and they both became very, very red and bloodshot. But did he really care right now? Hell no. His baby just left and now he had to try and focus on the task at hand. Work was the last thing on his mind, Fergal had a big segment and an event coming up soon that he needed to focus on..Back over at Pam, it wasn't any easier. She silently cried the entire way out of the building as she waved a taxi down. Somehow she managed to tell the girl that she needed to go to the airport ASAP; and with that, the drive was on. This visit came and went in a flash, Pam felt like there was so much more she wanted to tell him, so much more she just wanted to do with him..She felt like her kisses just weren't enough to make that man feel special..Pam's mind began to wander.