Turn It Up

Touched By An Angel

Entering the room slowly, Fergal and Pam were stunned to see how.. Horrible she looked. It had been a little while since they had seen Alexis in the hospital, they were hoping that she was doing a little better but apparently she had only gotten worse. She lost almost all pigmentation in her skin, her eyes looked like they were sinking back into her head, her entire body looked smaller even. This was possibly the worst they have ever seen her. Her tiny voice greeted them and instantly melted Pam's heart, "Lexi.. Oh my goodness gracious.. You little baby.." She walked over to her bedridden friend and gently grasped her hand into her own. Alexis looked up at Pam and tried to play it off like it wasn't THAT big of a deal, "Oh what? Is like, my appearance not good? Am I ugly now.." She smiled weakly and Pam let out a tear filled giggle, "No darling, you're beautiful. Don't think like that.." She softly stroked her little hand with her thumb and looked down at her, trying to resist the overwhelming urge to break down in tears right here and right now. Fergal was so fearful to even speak, he had this vision of Alexis speaking to him directly and he had no other reaction other than breaking down and crying on the floor. He needed to toughen up a bit, he needed to be a beacon of hope that Alexis can latch onto and hopefully pull some strength from.. But Fergal was unsure that he was the man for the job. She looked over at Fergal and saw that his hand was shaking, "It is that bad, isn't it Ferg.." You see, inside Alexis' mind, she somewhat knew the damage she caused to other people. It wasn't hard to see, and unlike Mercedes, she wasn't blind to it. She saw that her being close to Fergal caused Pam to get stupidly insecure, even in this near death state she still realized the damage she causes just by looking his way. She looked up at Pam, "C'mere.." wanting her to lean down for some odd reason. Pam obliged her and leaned right in, getting her ear close to Alexis' lips. "I'm sorry I do this to you. I'm sorry you see me as a threat Pamela. I don't want to be a threat, I want to be support. I'm so sorry for all of it. Don't lie to me and say it isn't true, I can see through that. Just either accept my apology or don't. I want you to know I'm here to be of help, not to hurt.." Alexis' words caught Pam off guard, how did she know that Pam looked at her as a threat? Fergal heard none of this and instead used this opportunity to regain his composure before he turned into a blubbering buffoon.

Pam was speechless, she turned her head so she was looking right into Alexis' eyes, there was no trying to lie to her, for some reason she had insight to her mind and what she was feeling.. And guess what? Alexis was a thousand percent right. Pam looked at Alexis as a threat.. Five Feet of Fury was dangerous to her relationship.. And here she was, she literally, LITERALLY died just the other day and was resuscitated, but what does she want to make a point of? Telling Pam to not worry about her anymore.. Alexis' eyes welled up lightly, "You don't accept it do you.. I'm sorry Pamela.." She closed her eyes tight and Pam freaked out, reaching in and hugging Alexis very, very carefully. "Oh no no, honey I do.. I just didn't expect that, you know, right now.." She wrapped her arms around the beaten and battered woman who hugged back as best as she can. "I just love you guys so much that I would practically not exist if it weren't for you being in my life.. I can't lose you guys on a hunch that just isn't true.." As Alexis was talking, Pam rubbed the back of her head, "Shhh tiny one.. It's okay.. I'm sorry I even looked at you like that Lexi.. Okay? I'm just scared because you're so much prettier than I am, and funnier, and smarter and more talented I just don't want to lose him.. He's my everything.. I would die without him in my life everyday.."

All of this was taking place under the shadow of a whisper, Fergal didn't hear much other than a few key words such as names, and I'm sorry. Pam pulled out of the hug and softly stroked Alexis' cheek. "Just relax honey. Okay?" Alexis nodded at Pam's kind words and finally, reluctantly even pulled away. It was Fergal's turn to get some private time with one of his best friends. He walked over to Alexis who was as equally not ready for this as he was. "Hi Fergal.." She quietly spoke, Pam respected the situation, "I'll go wait outside for a minute, Fergal hates when I see him cry." Everyone lightly giggled but Pam did indeed leave the room.. Once the door closed, it became tense. Really tense in the room and Fergal was unable to say the things that raced through his mind whilst she was in her coma. "I was so worried about you.." He tried to get to the point of his worry, and let her know that he did care a whole lot. She nodded and smiled, "C'mere Fergal.. It looks like you're gonna cry and I'd rather you do it in my shoulder.." Alexis was smarter than anyone really thought, she could read people like a book and then some. Fergal nodded, the tears were there, but hardly even visible. He leaned down and hugged the small woman and buried his face softly into her shoulder. "I'm sorry I scared you guys. I really didn't wanna go like that. I saw some scary shit when I uh.. When I died." Alexis spoke as Fergal began to softly cry, the whimpering wasn't present, but the water dripping out of his eyes was slowly covering her shoulder. Alexis felt his tears begin to drench her shoulder and she rubbed his back softly. "I thought I lost you Lex." His words pierced her heart and she got a cold shiver up her spine. Softly she whispered, "You did." The truth in those words shook Fergal to his very foundations. The fact that she did indeed TECHNICALLY die was the scariest thing he has ever heard. "But, hey." She pulled herself back, grabbing his face so he was FORCED to look into her deep brown eyes. "I am RIGHT here.. Please don't cry. You're too much of a sweetheart to be crying like this." Fergal bit the inside of his cheek, the pain of losing someone to any means was something he was never able to properly cope with, his entire life even if a friend just stopped being friends with him for no reason, Fergal took it very hard. So this? This was the most pain he has felt from a friend in his entire life. "I just got so scared. No lie right after this happened someone attacked Pam, I don't know how I'm still functioning and not entirely insane.." Obviously Fegal just said something Alexis had no idea about.. "Wait, what happened to Pam..?" she slowly released his face, she never broke eye contact. Alexis grabbed one of his hands, "No I wanna hold it. I think I'll need it.."

She was implying about whatever story he was about to tell her.. Fergal took in a deep breath and exhaled even deeper. "Well a short while ago, I don't even know what day it is right now.. We were at a show and Pam needed her charger for her phone. So she took a quick run out to the rental to grab it and that's when she got hit. We don't know who it was yet, but she was ambushed in the parking lot by two unknown people.. She had a severe concussion amongst other things.. But.. That happened, and RIGHT when she was about to get out? I got the call from Matt.." Alexis knew exactly what he meant by that.. Holy fuck how did he manage all of that all at once? Alexis shook her head, "Oh my god, Fergal I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to add more stress to you like that.. I'll buy you a coffee whenever I get out of here. But hey can I ask a favor?" Her voice cracked when she said coffee. Fergal nodded, "Anything, Lass. What is it?" Alexis smiled a bit, "Can I train and workout with you and Pam when I can go? I feel like I've lost all my muscle and I wanna be trained by the best. And there's no better than you guys." She smiled wide.

Well at least as wide as her pain filled face can go, Fergal nodded and softly squeezed her hand, "Of course you can. Pam would love to help you and so would I. Speaking of Pam.." Fergal reluctantly let go of her hand and walked towards the door. He let Pam back in and hugged her gently, "I love you." Recent events caused Fergal to remind those that he loved that he did indeed love them with all of his heart. You must always remind them that you love them, for you never know when life will no longer allow you to tell them.. "I love you too." Pam whispered and she gave him a deep kiss with a smile. "You guys are freaking adorable. I hate you." Alexis chimed in from her bed. "Can I tell you guys my dream?" Fergal and Pam were hesitant, for they had fear about if she meant dream, or.. I died and this is what I saw. "Of course Lexi, fire away." Fergal and Pam both pulled up the two chairs to her bedside, Fergal had her hand, and Pam rubbed her calf. The reassurance that Fergal and Pam both offered Alexis was out of this world amazing. She smiled when she realized how much they love her and nodded, "Okay. So. I remember seeing that typical light thing. But when I covered my face because it was too bright all I saw was the people I love. And they were all crying, a lot. It was so sad.. I saw you Fergal, and Pam you too.. You guys were practically red in the face from crying. And I saw my mom.. She said, 'What did I do to have my little girl taken from me like this..' I heard it in her voice.. I heard her say that." What Alexis didn't realize is that her mom ACTUALLY said that in real life while Alexis was in her coma, but neither Fergal nor Pam would tell her that. "It got really scary though.. Y-you guys while crying looked up to the sky and black filled your eyes and dripped down, covering your cheeks and flowing to the floor.. It made the most ominous and scary dripping sound.. Then all at once I heard an ear piercing shriek come from everybody I saw there, Matt, you guys, Rebecca, April even.. Rami, you name it.. All of my friends and family shrieked as loud as possible.. Reminded me of those banshee things, you know? The really scary loud bitches? Yea them.." Fergal and Pam let out a nervous giggle when she said that, Alexis always knew how to make things come full circle with comedy. "But.. But then something absolutely amazing happened and I.. I.." She sniffled.

Fergal squeezed her hand and Pam patted her calf gently, "If it's too hard to get out.." Pam began to reassure her, trying to tell her if it was too hard then just don't bother saying it. It'll only bring her back to that place she should really run from. "No no, it was so beautiful.. I.. I saw the light again. And all the shrieking stopped. You guys returned to normal.. No crying, no sadness.. You all were so happy.. I got really confused and scared.. I thought, 'Did they all just forget about me after this? Was my death really that irrelevant that they could go back to the way things were?' And as.. As i thought that? This beautiful elegant.. Thing appeared behind me and softly spoke into my ear, 'No.. This is what life will be like when you reawake. Your loved ones will cherish you just as they did before. You all share a reality if you do not awake, it will be what you just saw. Torment followed by tragedy.' I asked why. Why was that reality. It.. It answered me and I will never forget this.. 'It was to be so, because this is not your time, child.. You have the choice right now to walk away from the world of the living, or to rejoin them. All of your personal pain will cease, but theirs will be more intense than they have ever experienced. Your mortal coils will reemerge and extreme pain from your injuries will be felt.. Look.' She pointed down and I saw me.. In my bed.. Broken and dying.. I was stunned.. 'What is your choice, child?' I couldn't cry, apparently angels don't cry.. She grabbed my hand and I decided.. 'I choose them.' And then I woke up." Pam and Fergal were stunned by this story.. They both looked at each other and it hit them.. This was.. This was life's way of telling them to love each other with all their being every single day, love always triumphs, no matter what..