Turn It Up

Not Included

Pam felt extremely betrayed.. It was a sinking cold feeling in her chest as Fergal pulled up to her apartment and parked the car there. The entire fucked up thing about all of this is that it was happening so fast. One thing after another after another. It seemed like Pam was stuck in some mixed martial-arts fight in which she had no defense to anything that was being thrown her way at all. She had just been released from the hospital after one of, if not the most traumatic experiences in her entire life. And now she finds out that someone she regarded as a sister just tried to basically get with her man? No, that was just the last straw with Mercedes. She is being a piece of shit, and Pam had enough. It was hard enough to remain friends with her after she found out that Mercedes bullied Alexis, and downplayed Savelina as basically an, 'Okay wrestler', which was entirely NOT cool to do to either of them whatsoever. But now this? This was unprecedented and the most dastardly thing that Mercedes could EVER have attempted to do. Pam's trust in Fergal never waned, it never faltered even under this immense pressure. She never once thought, 'What if he said yes and he's lying to me? What if he did go back to her room and get into bed with Mercedes..' Never once did she consider that a possibility. Knowing Fergal for so long, she knew when he was lying, he did a thing with his feet, his eyes dilated and he couldn't look her in the eye for more than two seconds. Not the case here; so Pam knew that he was indeed telling the whole truth about this story. As unbelievable as this was, Pam was not surprised. She always had suspicion that Mercedes would look at Fergal in that light, or just stare at him for a second or two too long. With her gaze and eyes being filled with lust for the man she was not allowed to have. It was going to take a miracle for Pam not to knock Mercedes right on her ass the first time she sees her, a miracle that Fergal knew he would have to make a reality. Getting into Pam's apartment, Fergal made sure that he was the one who walked in last, for he had fear if Pam was she would have slammed the shit out of the door when she got inside. "I'm gonna go get fucking changed." Pam was so mad she was even cursing on the regular. She obviously swore, most humans swore, but Pam did it with more power, and with so much anger right now it was coating each word she spoke. Fergal nodded, "C'mere. Now." He needed to assert himself and make sure she understood exactly how much balls he had. Even in the face of a pissed off Latina, Fergal stood tall. Pam looked at him and tried to keep that angry front up, but she ultimately caved in for the man she loves so much. She walked over to him and he embraced her with a big, tight hug.

"I know you're mad. I know. I'm mad too. Trust me, but holding onto anger is such a dangerous and deadly thing to do. Anger leads to stress, stress can kill you. I refuse to let something happen to you because of what a garbage human being does to either me, or you. You really do have such anger inside of your heart baby. I hate to see that sometimes, well. All the time actually. I don't want to have to worry about each person who attempts to talk to me from now on because of what some douche did.. You understand?" Pam knew his words were true, but she was so angry at Mercedes that it was hard to believe them as reality. "I know you just care Fergal. I know. You're right.. But you know I have SOME ground to be angry here.." Fergal nodded after she spoke, "Yes you do m'love. That's why I'm not upset at you, because I understand. I understood your insecurity when it was dominating your mind. I understand your sadness, and even your bloodthirsty anger that always comes out at the right time. And yes, I said it..."

Fergal knew Pam so well it was almost like he was inside of her mind at all times. "The right time?" Pam was kind of confused by what he meant by that. Fergal rubbed her lower back softly, "The right time, you don't ever waste your energy being angry at nothing. You always have some reason to be pissed and that reason is typically a big deal. The ONLY time you did waste it? Was when I accidentally ate the last ice cream sandwich." Pam smiled softly into his chest as he spoke, "Hey I was on my period you know damn well ice cream sandwiches are like my lifeline when I'm on it." He kept rubbing her back, enjoying the vibrations her body put out when she spoke. Fergal took in a deep breath and exhaled, "That's why in the pouring rain I went out and bought two more boxes, isn't it?" Pam nodded after he finished talking. "Yea.. Yea it is baby boy.. Are you gonna mention this to Lex?" He shrugged, "I don't know. I'm not too sure if now is the right time honestly. She hates her so much already, and is dealing with enough. Why add onto it? Y'know?" Pam nodded as she pulled away from her man. "Well I just thought that she cares about, well, us so much that she has the right to know almost. Her and Joe are like our relationship parents. Besides, you guys are like closer than siblings at this point. How can she NOT know." Fergal nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean babe. I just don't wanna add on to the shit she already has on her plate, y'know?" Fergal rubbed her sides, thinking he made her feel better.. For now. "I'll tell her babe. She's gotta know.." Fergal nodded at Pam's quick decision, "Okay babe. That's fine." In Pam's mind, Alexis still made her nervous, VERY NERVOUS. The sibling comment was an attempt to quell her fear of Fergal secretly wanting to be with her and since Fergal didn't deny Pam's statement, it made her feel a little bit better about the issue at hand. Those dark thought shifted from the long champion of Mercedes, and found a home inside of Alexis. It wasn't easy to hide them from the world of course, actually it was one of the hardest things Pam could do. But nevertheless, for the sake of this relationship, she had to hide it. Fergal had one more idea lingering inside of his mind, "After you get down babe, wanna look at places we can move to? I know we've been putting this off for a while now. Even before 'Mania.." Pam's face LIT up after he said that, he wants to talk about houses? Oh hell yes. She nodded frantically, trying to hide the fact that she was squealing on the inside. "Yes baby, yes I would love to look into places. But you do know that April should be here-" Knock knock knock. There she was.

Pam smiled and headed for the steps, "I'm gonna go get changed, let her in?" Pam disappeared into the upstairs area and Fergal nodded before she did of course. He turned around and walked over to the door, peeking through the peephole, he said in the highest pitch voice possible, "Whooo iissss ittttt" Unable to see April clearly due to the fact that she was a tiny creature, you could actually hear her huff from the other side of the door. "Fergal your voice over skills are ass. Let me in you douchebag." He laughed loudly and opened the door, April instantly smiled upon seeing a happy Fergal. "Hey buddy." She opened her arms up and wrapped them around his neck, his went around her waist in a warm welcome. "It's great to see you again, April." Fergal lifted her up and spun her around, putting her down inside after April squealed quietly. He closed the door and smiled more and more, "Well that was one warm welcome, it really is lovely to see you too. I.. I wish things were a bit.. Easier for you right now though.." Fergal hung his head low after her remarks, "Yea. I do too. But hey. That's what friends are for, yea?" April nodded and her smile slightly vanished, "Yea. And apparently spin hugging me because I weigh as much as a small stack of papers." Fergal laughed and so did April. Pam finally came back downstairs now.

April looked up and Pam's happy ish mood was somewhat gone. She knew that April was here for the reason of calming her down and to let her vent out her anger towards this completely insane issue. Fergal felt awkward, out of place even.. This was the time for the ladies to talk and Fergal knew this. He slowly looked around, checked his phone and as they sat down on the couch, Fergal did not. April looked up at him, "Are you gonna sit?" Fergal shook his head, "Uh, no I'm not gonna. I don't want to intrude on girl time.. I'll skid outta here and you guys can have some private time. Okay?" Pam's eyes filled with regret after he spoke, they shined over almost with tears for she knew how uncomfortable her crazed state made him.. But she didn't want to force him to stay, "O-okay Fergal. Just be safe. Okay?" April sensed the tension in the room, it made her squirm a bit in her chair. If asked, she would blame it on trying to be comfortable.. But this was not exactly a good time.. Fergal grabbed his keys and walked towards the door, the two of them kept talking on, April now trying to avert Pam's mind from the sadness she was being flooded by. Fergal stopped at the door but didn't turn around.. It was almost like a scene out of a shitty, B rated love movie. He was hoping in his heart and mind that she would ask him to stay instead, for in reality he had nowhere to go. Third wheeling in his own relationship.. Who would have thought? Regardless.. He grabbed the doorknob and opened it, almost slamming it closed on his way out. April jumped at this loud, sudden noise and turned her head, "Jesus.. Is.. he okay?" April was very concerned for her dorky Irish friend. Pam shrugged, "No. Absolutely not. All of this shit is happening at the exact same time for him.. For us. First the engagement which was an amazing high. To winning the Universal Title which only added to the happiness. He reached a peak. And literally everything since that night has been nothing more than a disaster for us. It's like.. It's like watching a slow motion car crash, you know it's all coming one after another after another.. But there's nothing you can do but try to stop the bleeding you're suffering from. He's like, being torn apart from all sides and there's nothing I can do. First the THREE people who he considered to be best friends of a long time damn near lose their lives, then I almost bite the bullet, then this shit with Mercedes, THEN LITERALLY Lexi died for several minutes.. Like honestly there's not been much good happening. Oh she got resuscitated.. But still.. He found out she had technically passed on and he hasn't gotten over it. His brain has had zero time to heal from all of this trauma."

The more Pam described how Fergal was feeling, at least on the surface, the more concerned she became.. "So.. my advice to you about that.. Just keep an eye on him. Okay? Fergal is one of the best human beings I've ever met in my entire life. Right now is possibly the hardest time in his life.. I would feel almost responsible if something happened to him. Just.. Keep an eye out, okay?" Pam nodded slowly, "I'll try April love.. Thank you for being worried about us, it means a lot to know people do care about how Fergal and I are doing.." Fergal left the area and went to, you guessed it. The pub. He texted Shinsuke and asked him if he could come out, but Shinsuke's response? 'With Kana. She said hi and have one on us.' He felt like such a fucking asshole right now, not a damn person would be around or available to come hang out with him. Alexis was still hospitalized, Pam and April were busy with each other, Rami was out of state, along with Kevin. Joe was with family in California. 'Fuck it.' He thought to himself and set his phone face down on the bar top, he didn't need anybody anymore. Fergal was going to try to be self sufficient.. Nobody was going to come through for him?.. Cool.. He will soon join them..