Turn It Up

Failing Ideas

The decision was made, both Fergal and Pam agreed on this little sit down with one another and neither of them really knew what to expect. They were worried that it would turn into a giant fight with both of them feeling worse than they did before they did this. But also, deep down at the bottom of their collective hearts; they didn't want it to go that way. Pam was missing Fergal something fierce, and Fergal felt so dead inside without his hugger. The support from Alexis mended some of his wounds, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same to have a friend show their love for you as opposed to someone who LOVES you to do the same. And as we all know, Fergal is not in love with Alexis. Contrary to popular belief, aka Pam's insecurity, Fergal really is only friends with Little Miss Bliss and there is nothing more to it. April needed Fergal back in her life in the worst way and it causes April to act out and find a way to fix this pain that she was feeling. Alexis and April decided to have them meet in a neutral place, not one of their apartments, but somewhere that was going to be safe, and in the middle for them both. The funny thing is that they didn't ask where they were going to meet before agreeing to do this. But, nevertheless Alexis and April didn't want to screw one of them over by having them go to the other one's house. Kind of awkward. They found this cute little coffee shop that was just the most precious little thing in the entire world, and April and Alexis went there early to scout the place out, seeing if it would really work that well and if there was a place where people can sit and talk without the threat of other people being there to get in the way. The two ladies got some coffee, Alexis got her signature iced coffee and April got her hot coffee. They sat down in the corner together, no people seemed to be there in the morning which was a good sign. Alexis had asked one of the workers how busy the establishment got over time and the lady claimed that it never truly got crazy busy. The most people she's ever seen in her three years of employment is around thirteen. And that is absolutely nothing. "I think this place is adorable. And it'll work perfectly. We can get them some donuts, coffee to have right in the middle in case they were to get hungry, and maybe this.. Maybe this just might work, AJ." Alexis looked over at April and smiled, her eyes were filled with concern and doubt over her two friends and whether or not they would be able to fix the immense strain that their relationship was currently in now.

    April looked over at Alexis, smiled lightly and nodded. "You did really well sweetheart. You really are such a kind little thing. I'm kind of cool with the fact that people draw comparisons between us in wrestling." April completely agreed with Alexis on the place, and they both shared a collective worry about whether or not this was going to have any effect on Fergal and Pam's relationship status. Alexis tilted her head, "What do you mean? Wait, people compare me? To YOU!?" She put her straw into her mouth and sipped some of her icy beverage. April chuckled quietly, "Yes you fool. Don't you go on the internet? People even notice things like our tantrums, the way you sit on the ropes, Savelina's character reminds them of Sarona. The biggest difference is that you are said to be much hotter than me." April laughed and took a swig of her coffee, that last comment clearly made Alexis a little embarrassed, she had never heard these claims and now felt obligated to deny everything. "Don't worry Lexi, I agree. You are a freakin' goddess. Relax, I'm not like mad." Alexis exhaled deeply now before speaking. "If it means anything, to me it's an honor to be compared to you, AJ. You literally are the freakin' best.."

    April put a hand over her own heart and tilted her head to the side, "Aww. You're so sweet. I love you." It was funny how life worked itself out isn't it? Two people who knew of each other, were kind of friends for a long time. Now were slowly becoming best friends due to a tragedy. So if you look at it this way; there is almost always a silver lining to every tragedy, you just have to know where to look. "The great AJ Lee loves me? My goodness, I think I'm gonna blush!" Alexis giggled quietly and April did too. The bonding session was going great, and they finished their coffee's. "Let's go tell them the place, yeah? The sooner we get them in here the sooner, hopefully, they fix this shit." April slowly got up to her feet. Alexis followed suit and stood as well, the two women walked over and tossed their empty cups out and left the building. They parked next to each other so they walked one another naturally to their car. As they got there, Alexis turned to April. "Hey, thank you so much for doing all of this with me. I don't really think I'd be able to do this by myself. Especially with Pam, I don't think she likes me still." April turned her head and then body to face Alexis and smiled. "I love them, and I love you. You are all such good people and you are all my friends. I'd do anything for you guys." After April said that, Alexis smiled and felt tears form in her little eyes. She hugged April, and this wasn't like an awkward friend, 'Oh talk to you later' hug, no no.. This was like a, 'Thank you for existing, please never leave my life' hug. April hugged back and could feel Alexis' tears flowing onto her shoulder. But she knew better, outing her about it was something that just wasn't a good idea. After several tense minutes of this hug, Alexis broke it and smiled with her glossy eyes. "Let's do this." April nodded, and both women got into their cars, heading to both Fergal and Pam, respectfully. Alexis arrived at Fergal's apartment and told him the place, he hadn't heard of it, which was good to an extent. He was hesitant at first but ultimately began to head over there. Of course he had to follow behind Alexis for the directions and such. And the same went for Pam. She was hesitant and super, SUPER nervous about sitting down to talk with Fergal for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. Alexis and Fergal got there first and Alexis sat him down at a table that was somewhat isolated, just like where Alexis and April sat a mere few hours ago. "Hey. This is for the best, Ferg. I promise." Alexis reached down and patted the top of Fergal's hand with her own, trying to reassure the stressed out Irishman. "I'm fine, Lexi. Thanks though."

    Fergal was so different, this Fergal was cold, and empty. It really scared Alexis to see that someone so kind, lovable and pure could fall so far down that they almost were not even recognizable. Ironically, and almost at the worst possible time, Alexis was thinking.. And she honestly could see herself with Fergal in another life. This was honestly a TOTALLY safe thought to have, Matt had the same thought about Pam and he openly discussed it with Alexis, they talk about some weird shit. Like what would the world be like if all the men were women, and women were men. They're interesting people. Anyways, about ten minutes after Fergal got there, Pam came through the door.. This was the first time that either Alexis or Fergal had seen her in a long time. And the sight of her, in this condition concerned the fuck out of Fergal. He knew her body, he knew her skin. He knew she was just as hurting as he was even though he denied it to the fullest. But, he didn't say anything. He just sat there, waiting for her to come over and sit. Then he would engage her, then he would try to talk about the disaster that has become their relationship. Pam walked over with April, and sat down slowly. There was a lot of tension..

    So much tension in fact that it made Alexis dizzy when she stood up, but she recovered and nobody besides April noticed. "Well. If you guys need anything, coffee, donuts, we're here to help." April's words were met with silence, which is honestly what she expected from them both. She walked over to Alexis and grabbed her hand, "C'mon dear. Let's get you something to eat.." And the two tiny women walked off to the counter. Fergal's eyes were locked onto Pam's. She couldn't look at him in the eyes however, she didn't have the wherewithal to do it, nor did she have the guts honestly. It wasn't that she was spineless, it was because Fergal had these.. Cold.. Dead eyes. It was as if he was shellshocked from seeing her, the thousand yard stare that people fear? Yeah, Fergal had that and then some. He was clearly staring a hole through Pam and she was unable to do it back. "Why haven't you been eating." Fergal broke the silence, taking note of the fact that Pam looked significantly smaller overall. "How can you tell.." Pam responded quickly. Fergal bit the inside of his cheek, "Your waist. Your legs. Your boobs even. Also, you look really pale and sickly. What are you doing to yourself Pam.." This was not him confronting her, this was him trying to reach her in the best way he possibly could at a time like this. "I just haven't had the urge to eat, Fergal. What? Am I no longer attractive without my boobs, legs, or butt?" That was such a moronic thing to say. Fergal's eye twitched briefly. "I never even remotely said that. You are always beautiful, I don't like seeing that you are losing weight due to lack of food." Fergal finally moved his head, only to shake it from side to side. Pam was the one who initiated the relationship talk. "Well what's going to change with us? What has to happen in order for us to walk out of here, holding hands and being all normal.. For once." Fergal looked back at her again, "I don't really know, Pam. There is no trust from you to me, and I have done nothing to deserve that. Sure, there were times where I didn't tell you things that would have been a fight later on. But-" Pam interrupted him, "A fight? Fergal, the things that you did really did hurt me, you should have told me before I had to find out on my own. If there's one thing I hate and I can't stand.. Is a liar. And you have lied to me." Fergal has lied about things before too. But so did Pam, Pam also was the one trying to control almost every single aspect of Fergal's life, shaping it into what SHE wanted it to be.. But since Fergal was so sick of fighting, as well as he was clearly seeing that nothing has changed.. He didn't even bother to fight. Instead; he was just mentally walking very slowly to his own conclusions.

    This was not going well whatsoever. He nodded at her words and was accepting them as what she really did think was the truth. "Well. Is there anything else, Pam?" Fergal asked in a questioning, almost dismissive voice. "What do you have to say? Is there something I need to do?" Fergal shrugged, "Even if I tell you what you've done, it won't change. I also will never really be able to live down what I've done to you. No matter what I think of it, and also no matter how hard I try and make sure that you realize how fucking sorry I am for it. You claim you've forgiven me, yet if you have then the thought of that wouldn't ruin your days. They would just be thoughts. So, honestly? No. I don't. You know what you do to me, with the controlling and dictating my life. But will you do anything to change it? No. Because even after all of this time. You still can't forgive me. I never said to forget it. But you have no trust in me, and you cannot forgive me." Fergal stood up, he was so defeated from this, he thought that time would mend wounds. He thought that doing whatever it took to show how sorry he was and how much he regretted it could help. He also thought that Pam would realize the damage that being controlling causes to a relationship.. But there was nothing. No progress, even though she recognized that and she was 'sorry' about it. It just wound up being the same old shit. She doesn't trust him.. And what kind of a relationship has no trust. There was nothing left for him.. "Where are you going..?" Pam asked as tears rapidly filled her eyes.. Fergal's response was cold.. And quick to the point.. "I'm done here."