Turn It Up

Speechless

Pam's meltdown was now a few days buried into the past, and just as Fergal claimed he would, he stayed right with her the entire time. Sure Fergal could have gone home and relaxed by himself but then..then Pam would be by herself, and she would more than likely have another meltdown and two of those things? I mean, Fergal's little heart just couldn't take that. The news that Paul laid on him was still lingering in his stomach like bad sushi. He couldn't shake the feeling that the angle Paul wanted out of them was going to be nothing but too personal for anyone to really even notice. It was something he wanted to talk to Pam about, and he was beginning to feel like she was absolutely ready to talk about something like that. Pam on the other hand spent the last few days trying to figure out just what on Earth was wrong with her. She didn't feel physically ill or anything, so that was out. She knew she wasn't pregnant, thank god by the way. So that was also out. Pam literally had no idea what caused her freak out attacks as of late..She was going to begin blaming anxiety, and stress. Due to the serious side effects that both anxiety, and stress can really have on the human body. I mean let's face it, stress can literally get so bad that it can kill you. That is not something to mess around with..Fergal was in Pam's kitchen, making a nice little breakfast that hopefully would taste as good as it smelled. Pam was relaxing on her sofa, "Hey babe?" Pam shouted out to him. Fergal loved hearing her voice, it was something so simple but just actually hearing her speak would make him really happy. He set everything on the stove and put it on low, walking out behind the sofa, Fergal placed his hands on Pam's shoulders, "What is it darling?" He gripped her tightly, beginning to massage her with his hands, Pam could feel her entire body melting underneath his touch, he did actually have magical hands. She knew this in more ways than one. "N-nothing..I just miss you." Fergal felt a little flattered and smiled a lot, leaning down and kissing her neck with a pinch of lust in his motion. "I miss you too, beautiful." Pam tilted her head to the side and let him pamper her, she enjoyed this far more than she ever thought she would. Being physical with Fergal used to terrify her, her body was still something that she felt was not good enough for someone as flawless as him. Fergal then moved his hand over her chest in a..teasing little way. After he pulled back, Pam gasped, "Ugh. Tease.." Fergal let out a quiet giggle, "Well there's no foolin' around before breakfast! Maybe later.." He knew that he could...he could have taken her right here and right now. But the smarter idea was to keep her relaxed, granted..That probably would make her feel absolutely amazing, hence the reason why if everything keeps riding really smoothly, he would gladly entertain her in that way.

Pam couldn't help herself but to talk about work. "So did you hear Lexi is a champion now?" Fergal knew that this happened just a few little days ago. The tables match between Alexa and Becky was actually an amazing match.. Both ladies killed it in the ring and it ended with a apron powerbomb through a table, from Lexi to Rebecca. Fergal kept massaging Pam's shoulders, "Yea I heard, and saw to be a hundred percent honest with you." Pam smiled a bit, "I'm really happy for Lex, but I can't help but feel like Becks..kind of got the shaft, you know? I mean Lex absolutely deserves a chance to shine and all. But that poor girl..I mean she finally got something that she busted her butt for..and it just. Poof. Gone, just like that." Fergal knew Pam was right, it was super unfortunate how the company decided to do the ladies in like that. They for some reason were against long title reigns..Unless you were Charlotte, then you are exempt.

That last part was exactly supposed to be a joke, don't take it too seriously now..But Fergal needed to talk to Pam before she made any kind of phone call. He needed to vent out how he felt about the potential storyline that was going to take place between Colby, himself, and Pam. It was bothering him to no end that the timing of this could literally not been any worse than it actually was. Fergal huffed quietly, and Pam heard it. "What's wrong babe? Do you not like her now?" Fergal shook his head and turned off the stove, it was finished and it needed only time to cool off. He walked out to the living room and sat down across from her, stress was clearly keeping a tight grip on him and tormenting his mind. Pam sighed quietly and frowned, "What is it..Was my joke not funny?" he shook his head again. "No, Pam..Just something that Paul had mentioned to me before you..well.." She had no idea where he was going with this, she had no clue of what Paul and Fergal talked about on that day. But whatever it was, it clearly carried a ton of weight and Fergal was struggling heavily to shake it off. "Well what is it? What happened? Did he like, fire you?" Fergal now giggled, her guessing was getting worse as time went on, "You really suck at the guessing game, don't you?" Pam giggled quietly and shrugged, "Well I guess so. But really. Babe, what happened.." Pam was in full concerned girlfriend mode, she couldn't let him be stressed like this and he hadn't even really gotten back on the road yet. Fergal had to think about how to word this. Nothing felt right in his head, no amount of words that made something like a sentence even came to him. It was an insecurity thing, as well as a lack of trust in Colby. It isn't that Colby did anything specifically to him, it really is just Fergal's lack of trust in the entire human race. He had known nothing of trust before he met Pam, then he met the rest of his crew and trust mounted heavily. Even someone like Rebecca whom he has known for several years, and literally is the reason she is where she is today, trust was difficult even with her. But after Pam? Fergal opened his mind to the idea of trust and all the good things that really come out of it.

Recently however, with all this crap surrounding them, his trust was taking a beating, his momentum was taking abuse from all aspects of life and he was going nuts even thinking about it. Trust was such a nice thing to have, but it was also something that could disappear in a matter of moments. One or two words/actions and all that trust could just evaporate into the air. Fergal knew this, that is primarily why he had to protect Pam as much as possible from his darker thoughts. The one's that he kept locked deep in his brain and never shared with anyone. From family to friends, he never spoke of these dark thoughts, the amount of pain that came with them even exiting his head would be unbearable to him. Honestly? He didn't even know how much, if at all it would bother anyone he would ever tell. He didn't know if Pam would be offended, hurt, sad, angry, he had no idea what emotion would come out her body. Pam's mind was wandering like mad now, she didn't know what her man would say next. Did she do something wrong? Did he sleep with another girl? Was Fergal leaving WWE? There was a million and a half things that could go wrong and even more that probably would go wrong. "You know you can tell me anything, right babe?" Pam was still trying to ease Fergal into explaining to her what happened. Fergal on the other hand was having a silent mental breakdown. Words just weren't forming in his head but the idea was literally staring him right in the face. It was starting to piss him off just how Paul managed to single handedly fuck up his entire swag about returning. Especially due to the fact that Colby's relationship was still on the rocks? He was just overwhelmed with irritation..

"Paul came up with the idea that for my first program back, I would be working with you. And Colby." Pam was overjoyed when she heard this news honestly. She was so happy to be having an on screen angle with her man. Not many people really can say that they got the chance to work with their spouse. I mean Paul did with Stephanie, but that is a whole different can of worms we are NOT going to get into. But nevertheless, Pam felt joy and relief when Fergal hit her with the news. "That is great babe! We finally get to work together again. Like in NXT-" Before Pam got to relish in her apparent victory too long, Fergal interrupted. "The fine print, is that you're going to be romantically involved with him. And I'm posing as a threat to the relationship as the 'Bad guy'." Pam now understood his feelings and the pain that he was feeling. It finally sunk in what the hell was going on inside of his head. "Oh..um..Well that..um.." Pam was now speechless, but at the same time she still wondered why this drove Fergal up the walls like it did. "But why does this..bother you so much, you know I love you and I never will leave you.." Pam was trying to understand what was clawing at his brain like fingernails on a chalkboard. But he was hardpressed to actually explain what was going on. "I'm not too keen on the idea of another guy with you. That's all I'm gonna say. But since that's what is gonna have to happen, I don't have a say in the matter now do I." Pam felt a dagger breach her chest cavity as he spoke like that. Pain drenched his voice and doubt was following close behind. "Does..she know?" Pam spoke quietly and Fergal answered her question with a shrug. "I don't know Pam. I haven't spoken to her recently. I saw her when you went down but that was about it. And I don't really plan on it either.." Fergal's last statement struck Pam as odd, "Why won't you talk to her?" Fergal sighed, "Because if I can do anything to not make you worry, I won't be doing it at all. Okay?" Pam had a feeling she was the reason for his withdrawal of his own friend. She felt somewhat bad and a portion of her was..relieved. Knowing that she was going to be distant in his life came as a shock and a tension breaker. Now at least she didn't have that thought in her head. But it was quickly replaced with the thought of 'I just ruined this poor man's friendship with one of the most important people in his life.' Pam paused a moment, "You don't need to do something like that for me..That isn't fair to you or her..and you know that." Fergal wasn't having it. "No..I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that you don't ever feel that low ever again.."

Pam was at a loss for words. She wasn't sure whether to thank him for his kindness, or badger his course of action as reckless and selfless. "Well um..Thank you Fergal..And I understand why you feel the way you on both sides of the coin here. Don't think I don't.." Fergal got up off the couch and looked over at her. "Just don't worry about it. If this is the thing we do when you get back? Then this is what we have to do. Actually, we have to do it anyways..They literally already have an immediate, short term, and long term goal for how this is gonna go. We're just gonna have to make the best of it." Pam hated this idea now that she had the time to actually think about it. If the roles were swapped, she'd be beside herself with anxiety and pure frustration. Fergal walked back out to the kitchen and got the food all nice and organized. Pam sat there at a loss for words, still..She didn't know he had the same kind of fears that she did..It was actually nice to know that he loves her as much as she loves him..The only thing that she honestly would change was how she found out about his feelings. Fergal was always so quiet and seemed so happy, but now? She can honestly say she has never seen him this deflated and defeated..ever.