Turn It Up

The Prince Is Dead

The lack of a support system during this time is exactly what pushed Fergal back into the shadows from which he came. This was somewhat uncharted territory for him and it wasn't really like he has never been here before. Fergal's plan was to literally get off of the grid, he wanted to disappear and have nobody know where he was going to be or what he was thinking. This little fight with Pam was the straw that broke the camel's back. Or to put it in a way that didn't use a dated expression; this fight pushed him over the edge. Fergal was completely in control of his actions and thoughts, he didn't do anything crazy like self harm, or drink himself into a coma. He just proceeded through his normal life and the only thing missing was his phone, and Pam. Ironic isn't it? Two of the most important things in his life were not present any longer. He was in no way shape or form okay with his life anymore. He didn't even know if Pam considered themselves together at this point. No matter.. The fact that Fergal had to even think like this was a sad realization that he really was just as horrible a person as Pam made him feel. Fergal was at work, waiting to hear the call that his match was next when he heard several loud, and I mean LOUD bangs on his door. He at first didn't even want to know who it was but before long, the door swung open and there stood five feet of anger in the form of April. She clearly was frustrated, and exhausted. Her hair was slightly ruffled, there were black bags under her eyes and she was slouching heavily, her clothes were wrinkled and she just generally looked unbelievably pissed off. "Where. Have. You. Been." She slowly walked inside, you see April was no fool, she understood what it was like to want to just disappear off of the grid and become no one. She has had the same temptations before and actually has successfully done it before. I guess karma has a weird way of biting you in the ass when you don't want it to. Fergal shrugged, playing it off cool like he always did; "I've been here." He was not the normal conversationalist like he was previously, now he just wanted out of every single social interaction with as little words spoken as humanly possible. April however was not amused, and she was not going to play this shit for long. "Don't play dumb with me Fergal. Please don't fucking shut me out. As much as you don't think people do, I care. A lot about you." She walked in more, getting to him on the bench and sitting next to him. Fergal could feel the cold feeling of anxiety settle into his heart as he didn't want to open up too much.. If he opened up too much? He would collapse from the inside out and that just.. That cannot happen. He cannot look weak.

"I don't know what you're talking about.. Why does it feel like you're bein' my mother. Or a big sister. Is there something wrong?" Fergal was really playing into this, he wasn't trying to talk about it and if he could stall as much time as possible he could MAYBE just go do his match and disappear before April could interrogate him again. She placed a hand in the middle of his back and rubbed in little circles, she froze for a moment, "Fergal.. You're shaking.." he didn't even notice that his body was shaking from the anxiety and the fact that he can't escape from what he has done. "I'm just.. Cold." Fergal's response was quick and to the point. April grabbed his hand that was resting on his knee, she held it for a moment before releasing it. "Hm. I call bullshit on that. Your hand is really warm. And yet you shake and claim to be cold. Can you just talk to me? I'm not some pink haired psycho, I'm also not a person who judges or doesn't understand anxiety.. I'm your friend. Let me in.. Let me help you.. Please.." She was trying..

Her efforts would prove to be a fruitless venture for a while.. It was a solid few minutes of Fergal bullshitting her around until he finally cracked like an egg. What really accelerated the process was the fact that she mentioned the pink haired woman who shall not be named. Fergal finally spoke, "Well why don't you ask Pam what is going on. She seems to have all the answers before any fuckin' question is ever even thought of." He snapped slightly at April, who know that they were fighting, and since April is NOT a biased person based on friendship she had to stay impartial. "Why don't you tell me what happened. I want to know what happened from you." She continued to softly rub his back and try her absolute best to comfort him and it was from little things like this, did Fergal REALLY break.. He started to softly cry and April saw this happen like a slow motion car crash. She pulled him in to hold the crying man, trying to make this process easier. "Holy shit.. Ferg, hey hey hey it's okay.." She whispered to him as he continued to cry. This pain he feels right now is that of which he as never seen. He's been through breakups, ugly ones too, he's been through real physical trauma, he's dealt with friends lying, betraying, even hurting and THIS hurts worse than every single one of them put together. "Shhh you poor little thing oh my god.. Why has nobody helped you.. Why was nobody there for you.. I'm here Fergal.. Hey.. Shhh.. sh.." April was.. Feeling truly awful. For she has spoken to Pam about this issue and she has gotten her side of the story. In all honesty? April was pissed at Pam for reacting like a fourteen year old.. Any girl would kill to have a guy like Fergal who puts his woman first and always makes her feel that way. If a girl asks a man who is in a relationship to have sex with her, and he says no? You NEVER blame him for what the girl does as a result, that just makes ZERO sense to April, and honestly it almost sounds insane to put into words. Fergal slowly lifted himself up and April got closer to him, still rubbing his back but her little arms had to close the gap between them so it was easier to comfort him. "Everything I've sought to protect.. I've.. Destroyed.. I don't know what else I may have done to her.. I just.. Can't remember." Fergal was speaking as a defeated man who was beginning to take everything to blame. All the problems in their relationship up until this point, all the issues between his friends, family, fucking animals.. All of the problems in his life, he was now taking sole responsibility for. April leaned into him and hugged him from the side, "Hey! You didn't destroy anything.. And you didn't hurt Pam in any way.. Please Fergal stop thinking like that.. I hate that you're taking all the blame. You were not in the wrong with this. I swear to god, you either believe me or I'll kick your ass." April held him tight in that hug, and Fergal turned to hug her back.. One of the most important hugs in his entire life just happened.. He actually began to feel the support she gave..

April was so tiny it felt like Fergal was hugging a child, after a few long moments of this embrace, Fergal released her and she looked up at him. "How do you feel?" April's honest little question made Fergal smile a little. "You're a determined little shit aren't you?" He shrugged.. "I don't know AJ, I just don't want to get in her way anymore. I really need to think about what the hell is even important in my life anymore." April's heart sank when he said that, clearly he was far more damaged than she originally thought and there was honestly no reaching him at this point. Saving Fergal and Pam's relationship was something that an outsider could not accomplish.. She tried, and failed. "I understand Fergal." April rose to her feet and leaned down, hugging Fergal again tight.. He hugged her back, her tiny waist is where his arms wrapped.

Fergal whispered quietly, "Thank you for coming here." April smiled as a result of these words and nodded, slowly releasing the hug and feeling Fergal's light grasp on her slide off of her waist. "No need to thank me. I love you Fergal. You, Pam, and Celeste are like my best fucking friends. I would practically die for you guys." Fergal weakly smiled, "I love you too April." it was an unspoken, mutual realization that she was leaving now. "Be safe, will ya?" Fergal's request made April smile and laugh. "When am I NOT safe?" Fergal nodded with a more.. Meaningful smile. "Fair enough lass." April quietly exited the room and shut the door behind her. The large piece of metal closed and Fergal immediately slid back into his shit mood. April did her best to help and Fergal absolutely adored her company. The sad part is that he doesn't date her, that personality is intoxicating to be around and I mean that in all the right ways. Also, in NO WAY is Fergal feeling a certain type of way for April, just her personality is exactly what needs to be around him.. Not being alone.. Not suffering by himself. Fergal put his elbows on his knees once more, and let his head hang low. About six minutes after this, he got the knock on his door and rose to his feet like a robot. Grabbing his jacket and title, Fergal left the room and walked towards the preparation area. He spoke to no one, and literally looked like he was just there because he was programed to be there. He had no match actually. It was just a promo for him to talk as much shit as possible and get a reaction out of the crowd. It was getting close to him turning heel, or becoming a bad guy on screen. And honestly? Fergal had enough anger, resentment, cruelty, and frustration built up inside him to tear a hole through each of his future opponents. He got in the ring and grabbed a microphone.. Pam tuned in to RAW to catch this on pure accidental shitty luck. She almost instantaneously started to cry. Fergal's words didn't even register in her ears for when she saw him and saw how awful he looked; she felt so guilty it was almost sickening. She knew him better than everybody. She knew his body language, she knew that when he had sleepy, exhausted eyes.. His pale face and the observation that his eyes were also darting around all over the place signified that he was thinking so much and was not in a good place. Pam couldn't believe that they were making him go out there and talk at a time like this, where they damn well know every single thing that goes on in every one of their Superstars lives. It made her so angry to see this.. Pam personally was making STRIDES at her therapy sessions, she was truly feeling better about everything.. Except what she did to Fergal..

That was one thing that no amount of therapy and fancy talk would make her feel better about. The simple fact the she managed to break another human being, she chose someone else over him.. She took the side of a woman who tried to, in essence, steal her man from her.. She honestly got dumbfounded even thinking about what she has done and honestly? She was too afraid to talk to him. She knew he needed time to mend his wounds, to patch himself up in any way that he possibly could.. She doesn't know the status of her engagement right now, she doesn't know if Fergal wanted to marry her still and she wouldn't blame him if he didn't.. Pam took to social media to check up on Fergal and see if he has tweeted anything. He never posted real status updates on Instagram, Twitter was the way to go. She went to his profile and covered her mouth with what she saw.. His profile picture was of the back of his leather jacket, laying on the floor, and his bio? Gone.. What bothered her the absolute most, was the name change, it really gave Pam an insight to what he was thinking and how he was feeling.. Not the Twitter handle, the name in big letters.. It simply read; 'The Prince Is Dead.'