Turn It Up

Lament Of The Days Gone By

Mercedes' words were not sticking to Fergal whatsoever. He was practically not listening. The only thing he could hear was the increasingly ominous sound of his heart beating inside his chest. He heard Mercedes' voice, but did not make out a single word she spoke. Mercedes on the other hand was just trying to figure out a way, on the fly, to calm her friend down. His shaking hands were not because he was cold, no it was actually steaming hot backstage tonight, which in of itself was out of the ordinary due to the time of year. "Dude, you need to stop shaking.. Everything is going to be okay.. Let me see your hands.." Fergal turned his head over towards the pink haired woman who had nothing but concern in her eyes, he offered one of his hands that were actually icy cold.. "My goodness.." She tried to create friction on his hand just to warm him up a little. His mind was completely destroyed, feeling almost like slipping into an insane state, he faced a crossroads where he had to make an impossible decision. "Let me take you back to my locker room, get you out of here. Is that a bad idea? I feel like you have so much pressure on your chest you just need to let that out, dude.." Fergal shook his head, he honestly was unsure if going to Mercedes' locker room would be a good idea, primarily due to the fact that Mercedes was actually the cause of all of this. "I.. Alright.." Fergal stood with Mercedes and the two began to carefully walk towards her locker room. "I want to help you get a lid.. Err.. A grip on this anxiety thing Ferg. This is so scary for me to see happen to you, you go from the happiest guy in the building, to one that can't even speak he's so scared.." Fergal knew she was right, he had zero control over his anxiety, and most of the time it got him into severe trouble. Shutting down all function of his legs, his mind then slowly faded to black.. But not this time, Mercedes forced his eyes open and is trying her best to repay him the same kindness he showed her. She opened her door up and shut it behind them slowly, Mercedes gazed at him and watched as he somewhat struggled to even make his way towards the little bench to sit on. She shook her head, "When this happens.. I don't know how often it does, but you literally go into full shutdown mode, don't you?" Fergal, who was just now beginning to regain control of himself softly spoke, "Y-yea. I know.." This really frightened Mercedes, because god forbid this were to be happening while he was driving, or wrestling and then his mind just shuts down and he goes limp.

The consequences would be extremely bad.. And messy.. Mercedes sat down on the floor in front of Fergal who was keeping his eyes closed tight, focusing on his breathing to maintain a stable heart rate. "I've never seen you like this before Fergal.. Do you hide this from everybody?" He nodded slowly and Mercedes bit harshly down on the inside of her cheek, "Um.. Why?" Fergal lifted his head up, "If people see me like this. People will worry. I don't want people worrying about me, 'Cedes. Pam hardly knows how bad this gets.." She understood where he was coming from, Mercedes herself used to suffer from similar panic attacks a few weeks ago even. But coming to grips with where she was in life and reminding herself that 'tomorrow is another day' was all she had to pull herself through it. "Do you want to talk about what's going on inside that big head of yours?" She slyly smirked at him and he gave her a look too, giggling ensued next as the joke was well delivered and received. Fergal had to express himself, he had to get this garbage out of his mind and heart. He had to tell her exactly what happened, exactly what happened way back when the FIRST time this happened. He had to spill all of the beans.. Was he ready to do that though?

Pam received both texts from.. Of all people, Mercedes and read them and instantly shot into a panicked state. Standing from where she stood, Colby stood with her, "What happened Pam? Is everything alright?" He was really really concerned with what made her freak out so much. Pam is such a kind person, such a calm person as well. However, recently she has been more panicked and freaked out over life than ever before. "It's.. Fergal.." Colby tilted his head, "Is he okay?" Colby himself was even growing slightly worried about his Irish friend. He grew closer to Pam now, trying to make the situation as calm and easy to handle as possible.. "Mercedes texted me and basically said Fergal is freaking the heck out. And then she texted me saying it was entirely a bad idea for me to come to him. What the heck does that even mean?" Pam felt her heart tighten, was Mercedes lying? Was she just trying to use this excuse to get close to Fergal? She felt that familiar rage and frustration build up inside of her, disgust was the next thing that followed and it figuratively turned her face green. "That's.. Well what happened? Is there something you haven't told me?" Colby was trying his best to help, Pam shook her head, "No.. Unless she thinks that like, Fergal is freaking out OVER me. And then. Like. Oh I don't know.." Pam shot into a borderline crying state and Colby embraced her in a quiet, soft hug. She buried her face into him and for the moment it kind of felt.. Right. The hug, the quietness and ease that he brought to her. It was like water to a potential forest fire. Pam's mind of course wandered to where it was definitely not supposed to go. She remembered Fergal's discomfort with the program that involved himself, Pam, and Colby. She remembered that he had such a fear of that angle becoming reality, such as with Edge, Matt Hardy, and Lita. There was such doubt in his heart and mind, so much fear that he carried with him at all times and to be honest, it never was fixed. It never was reassured to the point of being smoothed out of his sharp thoughts. It was still there, just as jagged as it was the first time he imagined it. And here she was, latching onto the man who was set to steal her from him on television. There could be no more dramatic irony than this right here, right now. The hug possibly lasted far longer than it really should have, but then again that really is how most hugs operate is it not? Pam ultimately pulled away and continued crying.

"Thank you for being here for me Colby. It really means a lot. Like, I don't even know what to think or feel anymore about anyone. Fergal, Mercedes, you.." She shook her head and looked down slowly. It was at this time where Colby lifted her chin up very, very gently. "You feel how you wanna feel Pam. Nobody has the right to tell you otherwise and nobody has the right to make you feel a certain way, if it goes against what is inside that huge heart of yours. Feel what you want to feel, no matter what. Got it?" Pam nodded, it was difficult to nod however due to the fact that Colby's finger rested softly under her chin. This was a moment that made her heart pound in anticipation and anxiety. What was about to happen? She truly didn't know how to feel, her entire life was spiraling out of control at the worst possible time. Her career couldn't be at a better spot whatsoever, but her personal life was like a boat, lost at sea and there is a giant hole in the center of it. This whole night was rapidly approaching the 'unsavable' territory and Pam interacting with Colby in such an.. Well, borderline almost intimate kind of way? It only made things that much more confusing in her life.. It was only a matter of time before this all came crashing right down on her head, in dramatic fashion.. All that she could do for the remainder of the evening was try and pick up the pieces from this catastrophic night of unfortunate events.

Mercedes watched as Fergal regained himself, he tried his best to be strong at a time where strength was the most impossible thing to achieve. He slowly sat up and straightened his back out, she patiently waited to see if he was going to jump right into what on earth was really pushing him slowly into madness. But after a minute or two of his careful, slow breathing, she decided to ask again. "What happened Fergal? What made all of this.. All of these problems of yours like, happen?" It took only a few moments before Fergal felt himself get a little angry, it was his first and last reaction to addressing the problem at hand. "Honestly? Mercedes I don't know how you can't see what happened. I don't understand how you can't tell that it's YOU that is the problem.. Our friendship, how close we are and how we care about each other drives Pamela crazy. She doesn't trust me, she might not even trust you. I just. This happened before y'know. I don't even know what started it in her warped imagination but it did. And I HATE it. I love her so much to the point where if push came to shove, I would die for her. I wanna spend the rest of my life with HER. Not anyone else but her. And here she goes getting pissed at me over caring about my friendship with you? I hate that so much. I do everything for that woman. I was there for her when she got dumped on by the company, I was there for her with her injury, and then another injury. I was there for her when she had her best days AND her worst. But she can still sit back, and get pissed off at me for being friends with someone like you. Why? Because she's.. Threatened by you? THERE IS NOT THREAT FOR GOD'S SAKE! I feel like when this happens I'm going to lose my mind, I can't stop it once she snowballs out of control into a freaking avalanche. You know I slept on the couch in our hotel the other night?" Mercedes cocked her head to the side and Fergal kept on ranting. "No of course you didn't, cause why the heck would she tell you that. Yea, after I tried to comfort my friend, aka you, she FLIPPED OUT on me and got super pissed and I just was pushed into avoiding her altogether. I don't even know if she considers us dating anymore. I just don't know!-" Mercedes interrupted his really worrying explosion with soft words, "H-hey.. Fergal calm down.. Please.." She began to shake, her hands were shaking out of pure fear of the situation, in her mind she could lose two of her best freaking friends in the world, just a week or so removed from losing someone she thought to be the love of her life. She softly spoke again, her words trying to mend the wounded Fergal's heart. "It all is gonna work out, you and Pam are gonna figure this out and everything is going to go back to normal.. I promise. Why don't you go talk to her right now? You seem to have calmed down.."

Fergal stood up slowly, "That sounds great Mercedes.. Thank you so much for being here." She stood too after he spoke, shrugging, "Just being a friend, no big deal." Fergal walked over and gave her a quick hug, the broke it. The two walked back into the backstage area and made their way towards his shared locker room with Pam. It was an ominous walk.. The area was so dark, and freakily dim lit.. There was little to nobody walking around, no noises. They could actually hear the sounds of their footsteps as they lumbered throughout the halls. As they arrived at his locker room. She nudged his side once, "Go get'em tiger!" then quietly laughed. Fergal took on deep breath in and out, then opened the door. He saw Pam there, Colby uncomfortably close to her with his finger under her chin.. And a rather.. Uncomfortable sight if he were to be honest. Mercedes' jaw dropped, almost hitting the floor in shock. Fergal felt his heart exit his body as Pam and Colby both looked over at him, "Oh my god no, Fergal.." Pam mumbled a bit and walked towards the two of them. Colby was struck with a lightning bolt of fear. Mercedes spoke quietly in pure disbelief as to what they saw, "No..way.." Fergal turned from the situation and began to walk quickly away from it all, all he could feel was the worst agonizing pain shooting throughout every ventricle of his heart, throbbing, clawing..