Turn It Up

Victim To The Unknown

Let's get one thing clear here, Fergal did have his own personal struggles, he did also have his own things that when thought about for too long, would make him go absolutely insane. Pam was not the only one who was suffering right now from insecurity, or fear of the future. Fergal was deathly afraid of the future and he was afraid of all the personal responsibilities that would come with the future involving Pam. Being a professional wrestler had its own problems and things he needed to do, but that's something he's been doing for well over ten years.. That's business as usual, but.. Living with Pam? Potentially having a child someday with her? Those things scared him.. What if he wasn't good enough, what if the time that they had together wasn't enough for her and she got bored of waiting around for him.. These things and many many more dark thoughts often gripped tightly on Fergal's mind. He wanted to grow old and gray with her, rocking back in forth in creaky old chairs, with grandchildren even. But how do you get there? How do you get passed the point where you are now with these mental blocks, how do you put your own fear aways and move forward with the gift that life has given you... Doing something like that is merely the hardest thing a person can ever try to do.. Fergal had time on his hands and alone time was bad time.. He never liked to be alone, being alone meant his mind would go to places like that.. That he really just.. Just needed to avoid. He didn't wanna reach out for anyone's help, that was just a pathetic excuse to get 'Attention' when in reality all he needed was someone to hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He was so worried about Lexi and her health complications.. She's been in a coma for over a week now. Rebecca and Shinsuke luckily both recovered and were now in physical therapy to get some of their full strength back, hopefully it didn't take them all that long to get it back. Luckily for them their injuries were minor, nothing that required the amount of surgeries that Lexi has ALREADY had to go through. Fergal sat on his couch, alone and scared of the world. Was he ready for this marriage thing? He pondered the idea of running away from the world and hiding from everyone and everything. The idea had an increasing amount of logic to it, it was becoming more realistic to just pack up, quit WWE and just run away from life. Try to keep up, he laid down on the couch and closed his eyes, Pam was going to be gone for a few.. If not several hours today. His eyes slammed shut as the world around him felt like it was collapsing in on itself. The fear of the future was beginning to take hold of him, Fergal was not ready to be a husband. Fergal was not ready to live with her, Fergal was not ready to have a child.. His sleep was going to be restless, painful as a matter of fact..

As he slept, his brain began to expand to the future, he saw a nice big house with a white picketed fence, loud noises surrounded them and it became clear that they lived in some kind of city environment. He didn't recognize the landmarks, but he did see a rather large, ominous city in the background. Fergal was like a ghost, he looked around and noticed that his hands were transparent, just a little. See through, the weirdest thing is that he could touch things, feel them.. Interact with them even. Fergal was so confused on how this kind of thing was possible, he actually forgot that he was dreaming at this point. Which was going to prove more than likely to be very very deadly. He opened the fence up and walked inside the front yard, Fergal saw a big blow up beach ball, the colors of Yellow, White, Red repeated in an almost relaxing pattern to look at. Basically he had a sense of relaxation festering inside of his heart, he was finding peace at last..

Fergal heard a glass break from inside the house and he walked up to the front door, he pushed it open and entered. The inside of the house was as expected, clean, tidy, fancy even. There were a lot of clearly expensive paintings and collectibles strewn about the house. As he walked further in and turned around, the door had already been shut behind him. But, the odd part was it shut with no noise, did Fergal see it open, but really just glide through it? Was he dead and this was his astral form seeing what could have been if he wasn't such a fuck up? The paranoia from before was finding its way right back into his heart and replacing that peaceful sensation he was beginning to have. Before long, he heard a familiar voice, it was clearly someone he knew very well. It was Pam, she was scorning, but in a nice way. Of course it was Pam, only she could bitch at you kindly. At a person for breaking something. "Do you see this? This is why I told you don't run in the house. You break things, and you can hurt yourself sweetie, you know that I would never want anything bad to happen to you. God forbid you would have cut yourself on one of the seventeen thousand pieces of glass that are over there now.. I would have had a heart attack." Fergal was taking his time to walk through the house, he heard footsteps from the second floor but chose to ignore them in fear of who it might be. In his reality, obviously it would be him up there, but he was no fool. Dreams have a sweet way of turning sour, when you're not looking. Fergal recognized the fact that this was either a dream, or some form of alternate reality that his subconscious has developed. Fergal heard an additional set of footsteps coming from upstairs and was now curious. He walked into the kitchen area and saw pictures of himself and Pam together, these photos.. These are recent to his reality. They JUST took these adorable photos together and here they are, developed, framed and displayed. This was beginning to get weird on him now, something was off about this.. Why was he not there? Was Fergal dead and this is the reality of what would happen if he WASN'T in the picture? But that made no sense. Pam is clearly talking to someone, whether it be a dog, which would completely kill his theory, or a child.. Fergal had to know. He walked through the large kitchen and tried to enter what appeared to be a dining room. As he was just about to take a step inside the room, he was hit by an invisible wall, he could not enter, it was as if Pam was protected by some outside force that was not going to allow Fergal to see her, or who.. Err what she was talking to just now. Fergal put his hands against the wall and pressed down, leaning his forehead against it as well. "Goddamn it all.." He spoke softly as he heard a noise coming from upstairs, it was an odd noise now, the kind of noise that SHOULD have gotten Pam's attention, but.. But it just didn't. She spoke to the.. Thing I guess you could call it, considering how Fergal had no idea just what the hell it was, child or animal at this point..

"Do you wanna watch Batman with me? I think it could be a lot of fun! Besides, I can show you my favorite character ever, especially considering how the first date I had with Fergal was basically this movie and making pizza.. Sure we had other things we did together, but to me? The first major one was when we made homemade pizza.. And watched this movie.. It was absolutely magical that day.." Fergal stopped dead in his tracks and recalled that moment.. He remembered how precious it was to watch Pam try to evenly distribute the cheese on the cold, delicious smelling sauce. "I remember when I just couldn't put the cheese on right, he laughed at me for so long afterwards.." Fergal perked his head up, he JUST thought of that.. How the hell did she just say that literally two seconds after it was inside of his mind? This is getting uncomfortable for him..

Back to where Fergal stood, he continued to look around the kitchen, supposing that the dining room and ultimately was not going to be accessible. He looked on the fridge and saw more memories that he just, wished that he didn't see. Fergal saw when they first met in NXT, my god how long ago, and how young he really looks. Absolutely insane. Pam looked just as gorgeous as always, back then she didn't hardly wear makeup, it was something that he loved, but she hated. That was the time where her physical appearance was most important to her, in her own words. "I tried to impress you so much that not wearing makeup made me scared you hated my face." In reality, he loved her face, no matter what. Fergal heard Pam begin talking again, "You know, I wish that I didn't decide to stop eating for that time. Would you wanna know why?" Fergal heard nothing in response, Pam had to have been talking to a dog or some kind of animal at this point. He was so confused at all of this bullshit. What kind of fucking dream is it when stuff like this happens? He didn't know what was real, and what was a figment of his imagination. "Well. I thought that he wanted someone skinnier, I thought that my curves weren't what he was into. I thought my thicker thighs were something that Fergal just didn't want to grab onto. I even tanned more to try and look like- oh you get the picture by now don't you?" Fergal was shocked, was this the truth? Is this how Pam was truly feeling? No, this is some kind of bullshit imagination thing.. "It was around.. Yea, I had just gotten my first first FIRST therapy session done, the one that April had me go to? I made the decision that day to not eat as much, kind of making sure my body forced itself to lose weight.." Fergal took several steps back, almost out of the kitchen entirely now. "It wasn't the smartest idea, and I had to miss several months of wrestling.. Lost my title.. Lost respect.. Pissed April off.. Well he's upstairs right now with her. I'm sorry he can't be here right now.. I couldn't give him what I wanted with me, so.. I.. I compromised.." Fergal left the kitchen now, white noise coming from the living room now was all that was heard.. He was horrified by what Pam had just said.. But.. With her? Who the fuck is her? What was she talking about? He looked upstairs and realized that this was his choice, he didn't have to do this. Nothing was forcing him to go up those stairs and see what was waiting for him.. But, Fergal never was really that smart. He walked up the stairs slowly now, listening to the creaking, the ever so silent and ominous creaking as each step was taken.. The noises from the upstairs area were getting louder and louder. It was becoming a frightening scenario for him, the light and sun were all but replaced with a cool dark blue, it was hard to see, hard to breathe. Like Fergal was ascending up a giant mountain and his lungs were beginning to collapse. He approached the only door in the ENTIRE upstairs area and opened it slowly, the sound of a creaking door only heard by him..

Through the darkness his vision became blurry, it was already hard to see due to the lack of light, but now it was hard to see due to his fucking eyes deciding to stop working? Perhaps it was for the better, Fergal walked in the room and again, door closed behind him without making a noise. He made out that there were two people.. And he just walked in on them having sex. When his eyes came back to work for him, he saw his own face, his body was laying back first on the bed with a woman on top of him. What the fuck was this.. What the FUCK was this? How could Pam know this was happening and NOT stand up for herself? Was this what she thought he wanted out of life? Fergal rubbed his eyes as the woman was still very blurry to him, when it FINALLY came to? He.. he saw pink hair, the woman who was on top of him had just the brightest of bright pink hair. And Fergal appeared to.. Like it.. No, Fergal shook his head as the moaning and groaning became louder and louder, the door wouldn't open, like it was locked from the other side now, he pleaded and begged to be released, he tried his absolute best to get out but there was no way out of his own personal torment.. Fergal beat on the door with his closed fists, screaming at the top of his lungs.. Was this it? Was this where his life was going? Did Pam really think this way, and think this way about him? Fergal slid down the door and buried his face into his knees, sobbing violently.