Turn It Up

The Realization

Times were hard, Pam was feeling more and more physically ill with each passing day, it was the most.. Difficult thing to do. Come to work continuously and get the shit kicked out of you while you felt like absolute death. It was even harder possibly, for Fergal to watch this and know exactly how terrible she felt. To him; Pam never LOOKED terrible. He always found her beautiful, whether it be in sweatpants and a sweater, her ring gear, her in a bikini. No matter what she was the most beautiful creature that has ever existed. But now? He was more and more worried as weeks peeled on and she visually got sicker looking. It was becoming so obvious that some fans on her social media were showing immense concern for her. There was no way she was looking at comments right now, whenever she posted a picture of herself it was always paired with a fan, or perhaps the RARE one with Fergal. Although the fans knew about them, they didn't like to make it the point of everything to the public. It was their choice, some people keep their relationships on the downlow, others parade around with their lover on their arm. But for them? It was more about subtly, and being very smart. Fergal watched Pam's match at a live event, spectating as she struggled to get up after a routine knockdown.. It was beginning to get excessive and very scary. If she didn't figure out what was wrong with her, then well.. The company would put her on the shelf for her safety, as well as everyone else's. Pam got up after a few longer moments than intended and proceed to draw some kind of strange energy to finish the match and pick up one of the most difficult wins of her career. In a live event.. Non televised.. No title at stake. Just a match to entertain and she struggled THAT badly.. Fergal rubbed his beard as he watched her exit the ring, say hi to a few fans and eventually make her way back to him in the backstage area. Fergal shook his head as Pam peeled around the corner, her eyes were icy cold and distant. Fergal had a far away look in his eye, he was tired of Pam CLEARLY not telling him everything that was wrong with her, it was time that they had a very, very serious talk. This could not go on, but he also knew that this kind of conversation couldn't happen at work. It was not the time nor the place to have such an argument that honestly? Fergal had fear.. Fear that it would break out into an unavoidable fight and it would just get ugly.

"C'mon lass. Let's you to the locker room." Fergal wrapped an arm around the very, very fragile Pam. Who.. shivered under his touch. "Thank you. Don't you come on next?" Fergal nodded, "Aye, but they can have me come out last. It makes sense anyways." Fergal continued to guide her towards the locker room and opened the door for her, Pam went inside and he shut the door behind them. "Now listen to me now, and listen to me good." Pam knew this was coming, she knew that this apparent lecture was coming and honestly she had no problem with being lectured. She knew that this was going to get this and Fergal would deliver it with both care, and assertiveness. Pam thought for a moment about what she was going to say, how the hell was she going to have justification for not getting herself looked at, or at least make some kind of attempt to make sure she wasn't like, dying or anything. Cause at this point in how bad she's felt? She very well could be dying. It was a possibility, why? Who knows. The thought has crossed her mind and in her life not a soul knows what is really wrong with her, she doesn't even know what's going on inside of her very own body.. Why would she tell anyone else what was happening when she herself was entirely in the dark about the issue at hand..

Pam swallowed hard, she was not ready for it, but she was as ready as she ever could be for this. She looked up at him, batting her eyelashes.. "I don't know what's wrong inside, I don't know why you haven't either told me, or why you haven't done anything.. But Pam, you're really scaring me. Overall I don't like how you're doing this. You really are sick, I can see it on your face, I can tell when I touch you, you practically tremble and break under my finger. I don't know how you go out and wrestle and don't either kill yourself or someone else." Fergal shook his head, he was pacing now. This had been tearing a hole inside of him for days now, due to the fact that he has literally watched a steady decline in her health for weeks now. "You need help, okay? I obviously am not enough to help you, I wish I was, and I wish I could help you. But I as me, am not enough." Fergal had to swallow his pride and admit that, he really wanted to be the sole helping cause in her life that ACTUALLY worked out for the best. But that wasn't the case, and that honestly hurt him more than anything else ever has. "Please just get help Pam. If I ever lost you because you're a stubborn person.." Pam normally would have stood up and hugged him, but after a match like that, and how she felt? She couldn't possibly stand. Her bones felt like they were made out of glass.. Not just any glass, cause let's be honest some glass can take a bullet. I'm talking like a flourescent bulb level of fragility. Any strain would shatter it. Anyways, Pam instead decided it would be smarter to just.. Open her arms, and hope her man doesn't hate her enough to deny comforting her. As they opened, Fergal walked over to her and got down on his knees, wrapping his arms very VERY gently around her waist. His head rested on her lap and Pam softly rubbed his back, it hurt to see him this concerned, it hurt to see that his thoughts were exactly where hers could end up being. The thought of Pam being gone by some uncontrollable act of.. God? The Devil? Who knows, all he knew is that if Pam died, and he could have prevented it?? Why the hell would he ever be happy again.. Pam tried to calm his rapidly beating heart down, "Shh.. I'll.. I will go get looked at soon.. Okay? I promise you that.." Pam whispered as quietly as she possibly could.

"I just would not have a point to go on if you were to go like that Pamela.. I couldn't.. I couldn't.." Fergal for the first time in weeks, months perhaps. He cried. He couldn't fight back his fear of Pam dying, even if she left him for someone else at LEAST she was still alive pursuing happiness by some other means, not dead and gone forever.. At least he could see her happy face sometimes.. Or even get the pleasure of hearing her angel like voice.. This was his fear right now and Pam was heartbroken to think that her being irresponsible was the cause of it. "I promise Fergal. Okay? Just try not to c-cry baby.. Please, it kills me to see you cry.." She softly traced hearts into his back with her index finger. Fergal trembled in fear, his mind was racing so fast that if she felt it, she'd feel his forehead was burning up. He closed his eyes as tight as he could and swallowed even harder. "I'm fine.." he pulled back slowly and looked up at her, his eyes were red and bloodshot now. "I have to go to work. Just try to relax, lay down if you have to.." Pam nodded, she knew he was full of shit, but she nodded anyways. "I'm gonna actually get a shower. I'd invite you but.." She was really wanting him to feel better, even joking about sex could hopefully get that dorky smile of Fergal to pop out and say, 'Hi babe, I'm back'. Fergal did smile, "Well I'd love to do that, but I have asses to kick. Think of me in there, will ya?" Pam blushed and nodded, "You got it." Fergal then reluctantly stood and leaned down, kissing her. "I'll be back baby."

Pam was sad about him leaving, but she knew it was just work. "Be safe.." Fergal walked away and looked back one more time, then he left and closed the door. Pam was now alone in the locker room, she could do anything, get naked and dance, lay down on the floor, take a shower. Whatever she wanted she could absolutely do. The thoughts of that conversation pierced her mind though, not allowing her any room to relax. She slowly got up and looked towards the shower, maybe some nice warm water gently beating on her body would calm her. She nodded to herself, yep, that was the decision. Shower time. She walked towards the bathroom slowly, listening to the cool sound her foot made each time it collided with the ground. She really wished that Fergal was here though, shower time with him would be sexy and adorable. The thought of naked Fergal made her both giggle and feel.. Things. Giggle because well, the word naked made her laugh, but things cause.. Well. Hello. Her naked boyfriend? Duh. She walked into the bathroom area and began to remove her clothes. The shirt hit the floor and she began to untie her wrestling top. After it was done she finished up with her boots that were already loose from walking around in them. Pam finished her top and tossed the bra to the floor. She quickly turned the water on cause she began to get cold, and then proceeded to feel foolish for not doing this first. Her bottoms came off in flash, and soon enough she was in the water. She had a.. Dark thought whilst she was enjoying the warm water. She began to wonder about the past few weeks, about how much time has really gone by, about how many things have happened in between those weeks. It was scary to think about just how much time could really go by without you even batting an eyelash. She washed her hair out gently, not having that much was a luxury sometimes, it made showering a lot easier. She began to wash her body, feeling her belly and how goddamn sensitive she really was. It was awful to have this kind of constant fragile feeling throughout your body. She then began to feel.. Sick again. Finishing up her shower, it had been about twenty minutes. Fergal's match had to be over, he had to be waiting for her in the locker room now, but he didn't even come to check up on her.

No matter, right now was the shittiest she has ever felt in her life. That nauseous feeling was plaguing over her entire being right now, it was corrupting the very foundation of her core. She slipped her bra and panties back on and dropped to her knees right in front of the toilet. The world spun, she felt like she was on a never ending tilt-a-whirl ride at some kind of sadistic carnival. She had her mouth open, excess spit was seeping out now and falling harmlessly into the water. Her mouth was preparing to throw up. She hated the feeling just before she threw up, it was such a tortuous, drawn out, borderline sadistic kind of feeling that you really wanted to scream at your insides and say, 'HURRY UP I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.' Well much to Pam's dissatisfaction, she didn't get sick, she wanted to just to get the gunk out of her system and move on from it. As she rose to her feet, she flushed the toilet anyways, just in case Fergal was there. Not to her shock, he was. Sitting on the bench, covered in sweat looking.. Attractive as ever. She literally licked her bottom lip and blushed, Fergal looked up at her and blushed as well. But, That.. thought hit her again. She put the puzzle pieces together and the blush turned to a pale shade, panic set in now.. She stumbled against the wall and Fergal sprang over to her. "What is it??" Pam knew it now, "I know what's wrong with me.." she sniffled, this is what she feared was happening to her.. "What is it Pamela? Please tell me.." She began to cry, "I missed my period.."