Turn It Up

Coming Undone

The short drop and sudden stop still had Pam's heart pounding in anticipation. The funny thing about getting hurt, is most of the time the pain itself isn't what makes you fearful, it's the anticipation of the act happening that gets most people in trouble. Pam looked up at her beautiful man, his eyes red from apparent crying, the sockets that held his eyes were sunken in, with bags fully visible underneath them. He looked a little paler than normal and he bit down on the inside of his cheek as she looked at him. Whether it be from anger, fear, frustration, depression.. Something. "I didn't know it opened in, Ferg.. I'm sorry.." Fergal propped her back up onto her feet and she brushed her legs off. Sure she was just in jeans, for her gear was not tightly gripping her body just yet. She actually had to complain about that once. For her gear either got smaller, or she got fatter. Whatever the case might be, she felt her thighs suffocating and suffocating badly. But now? Tight..ish.. Jeans got brushed off instead. Fergal didn't do his typical looking her up and down and admiring her body. No, now he just looked dead ass at the ground, "Why did you come here." Fergal finally spoke again, he didn't even acknowledge her apology, or the intimate nature of the fall followed by his catch. Pam was taken back by this, she knew she didn't deserve her lovey dovey Fergal that he once was. But this was different, she could visibly see his damage and it was painful to even realize. "Well. I came to defend myself, actually." Pam felt a stinging feeling in her stomach, it shot up her chest and nestled right in her heart. She grasped lightly at her chest and Fergal even though he was not pleased or okay with her, still worried. "What is it? Why are you doing that.." He assisted her into the locker room and the door shut loudly behind them. Pam struggled to get air into her lungs, "J-just my chest hurts.. Lemme tell you.. What.. What happened." Fergal sat down and Pam did too, "Do you need pressure?" Fergal asked quietly, Pam nodded. He made a little move, "Move your hand. Let me. I think I can put more pressure on than you can." Pam nodded at his words and let her hand fall to her thigh, she watched as his veiny hand went straight to her heart and pushed down. Pressure was what she needed to alleviate the immediate pain she felt. "I can feel your heart, it's beating so fast right now.."

Pam was a little.. Strangely turned on by his soft, sensual touch on her chest. "Here.." Fergal wiggled his hand inside her shirt to press on her bare chest, Fergal's intention was not to be sexual with this, it was solely to give her the warm touch and pressure to relax her heart and hopefully quell her pain. Pam of course was just trying to feel something again, since that night it felt like her body was in a coma. No good emotion or feeling ever was felt by her, she never really felt.. Alive like she was when she was with him. He massaged lightly with his two fingers in tight circles where her heart is. To Pam's surprise, it helped soothe her.. "Feel better?" Fergal quietly spoke, he was still in a lot of pain from what she did to him, or at least what he thought she did to him. But now was not the time to be petty, and he was trying to help her. She nodded, "Can I tell you what happened?" Fergal nodded at her words, he was not entirely ready to recount this story, to remember what that night brought and he just was NOT ready to hear it. But he had to man up and listen to her. "Go on, whenever you're ready.." Pam's body felt like it was crafted out of glass right now, his soft, but firm touch was all she could really focus on. Goodness she missed this from him. Pam took a deep breath in, and Fergal's hand went with the breath, "Okay.. This is it.."

Fergal's hand morphed to Pam's chest and he placed his palm on the area of her heart, enjoying the soothing feeling her heart provided him. Pam was growing nervous, things were actually calm right now and she didn't want to wreck it. "I was in my locker room, err our locker room. And Colby came in and was concerned. Things between Mercedes and I have been so rocky lately because of.. You. And I was so stressed over work, and her, and us. I just got overwhelmed. I thought he was just being the concerned friend, y'know?" Fergal nodded at her speaking, "Right, you always think the best of people first." Fergal shot a sentence out, Pam nodded. "Yea I do. Err I try to. But anyways, we were talking about it and he basically showed me I had nothing to worry about with her. To sum it up.." Fergal felt a bubble in his stomach, a sick feeling that he knew where this was going and he really hated to know details from one of the absolute worst nights in his entire life. "Things got weird, Fergal, I made NO moves on him at all. But a few minutes later I found myself encroached by him, I looked down.. He lifted my head up with his finger, and then?" Fergal nodded slowly, "I opened the door." Pam nodded. Fergal hated this, he hated that she was actually fooled into being that close to another guy in such a intimate way. He was beginning to wonder now, "So if I hadn't walked in on you two. What exactly would have happened." Pam was actually shocked by this sentence, she did not expect him to fire at her with such an open ended question. "Well I don't know, I wouldn't have had sex with him, obviously." Fergal felt that fire again, "Yea? Can I really say obviously in agreeing with you? Cause it looked like he got real close to you, real easy." Fergal felt her heart pound now, harder and harder with each passing second this deadly conversation carried on. She didn't know how he was feeling inside that pained head of his, and he knew exactly how she was feeling. Pam was feeling pressure, stress, pain, doubt.. And Fergal knew it, primarily because he was monitoring her heartbeat with his hand. "I don't think I would have Fergal.. I have a brain in here you know.." Pam decided that fighting fire with fire, showing him that she did have some spunk left in her was the best course of action. There was a commotion outside the locker room, Fergal heard it, Pam heard it, but they ignored it. Instead of carrying this fight on anymore. Fergal grabbed Pam by the face, firmly, but with the tender care that he always exhibited with her.

"I never want to see that kind of thing again Pamela.. That messed me up so badly I cannot even put it into words. This thing you have inside your head, this thought. It needs to stop. It clearly is hard for you to consider, the thoughts you think, and the feelings you feel. I understand how real they can be. Okay? I totally understand you. I had them too, once upon a time I did too. But right now it needs to heal, I need you. Always in my life, I never want to think that you want another man again. And this solely happened because of these thoughts." Fergal pulled her face close to his and kissed her with a fiery passion that she hasn't felt in so long. Or at least it felt like a long time, Fergal softly caressed her cheeks and after Pam rebounded from being shocked by the suddenness of the kiss, she wrapped her arms around him and got closer and closer to him. Ultimately climbing into his lap, the kiss broke and she buried her head into the crook of his neck. Fergal felt her chest come into contact with his and there was her heartbeat again, this time it was against his chest and he felt it go so fast it was almost hard to keep track of. Fergal wrapped his arms around her waist and held the fragile woman in his arms.. Pam softly began to cry into his neck, she felt so guilty, she felt like this was all her fault.. Full blame was being claimed by Pam.

"Baby.. Why are you crying?" Fergal spoke softly as he rubbed her back very, very gently. Pam felt such guilt, like it was entirely her fault that she hurt this amazing man all on purpose. Which obviously was NOT true, sometimes people get insecure about others. Sometimes there are forces that take over your mind and cloud your judgement. Most of the time however? They're all just fear. Fear is such a powerful, dangerous emotion and it needs to be avoided at all costs. Pam sniffled hard, "This is all my fault, I just make you feel horrible and.. A-and I hate it! I hate it so much.. Why am I like this?" Fergal interrupted her now, "This is in no way shape or form your fault Pamela. I am here, I am always here, not a soul will ever be able to take me away from you. You got it? Never." The commotion outside of the locker room was becoming more clear as the minutes turned over. "What the hell is that.." Fergal spoke softly, and it was at this time that Pam was calming down, her crying ceased and she listened, "Wait.. That sounds like.." Fergal and Pam both looked at the door, and at the same time, "Mercedes and Colby." Pam slid off of Fergal's lap and stood up, as she turned around, Fergal gave Pam's butt a quick swat and caused her to squeal. "Hey!!" Pam blurted out, followed by a quiet giggle. It was obvious that Fergal believed her and she was absolutely so relieved for that. Fergal stood up slowly, looked up and stretched, "What? I didn't do nothin'.." He smirked as he looked down at her again. Pam saw this opportunity, she leaned over and grabbed a handful of Fergal's butt now and he got squeamish, giggling even, "What was that for??" He said with a quiet squeak in his voice. "Hm? I didn't do nothin'!" Pam said the exact same thing he did, and winked playfully at him. "Oh I see, this is a butt grabbing contest? Well I promise I'll win. You have more butt to grab!" Fergal exclaimed, happiness was all over him now and it was truly beautiful. "We'll see, Irish boy. We'll see.." Pam bit down on her bottom lip.. Almost seductively now, Fergal was overwhelmed by the sight. It was at this time where shit was getting serious, they knew there was a fight going on outside the locker room and they wanted, no.. Needed to see what was up.

They both made their way to the door and opened it up, seeing a screaming match taking place right in front of their eyes. "I can NOT believe you Colby, you think this is some kind of game? You can just go around trying to have sex with everything that has a skirt?!" Mercedes fired shots at him and he fired back, "No.. I don't think it's a game, you're just mad that I won't have sex with you!" Mercedes scoffed at his words, "Yea that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I would never be with another person AGAIN before I'd EVER consider you, Colby. Just get away from me. I want nothing to do with you ever again." Mercedes attempted to walk away from him, but it was at this time where Colby did something.. He grabbed her by the wrist as tight as he could, she stopped and turned around, he must have thought nobody was around. "No, you don't just get to walk away from me like that. Talk crap and then just leave. No you do NOT." He pulled her back and Pam almost darted right at them, Fergal grabbed her. "No babe.." He whispered, "We can't get involved in this.." Pam looked over at him, "One more thing Fergal, then you won't be able to hold me back." Fergal nodded at her, watching now. "Colby let me go, you freak..!" Mercedes was getting louder and more stressed out. "Fine, you wanna go?" Colby shoved Mercedes, hard now. She was already a tiny woman, no more than a hundred and ten pounds.. And Colby shoved her as hard as he could, staggering her into some equipment where Mercedes fell down, hitting her head on some of it as well as smashing her ribs on it too. That was the last straw, Fergal released Pam.. He was holding her close to him by her hips and she voluntarily held back.. until that. She bolted over there as fast as she possibly could.