Turn It Up

Late Night Jitters

Putting faith into something was very risky. Especially when that something caused nightmares on a daily basis. The scary thought that someone else that you have no control over literally has so much power over you..it just is such a scary, very frightening concept to realize. When it finally dawns on you that this person can seemingly break you with the snap of their fingers. It scares a person, scares them so badly they might not want to put all that much faith into them. That however; is the game of life. That is the risk you must take as a person. The payoff if you're right? It is immeasurable. Nothing can even come close when you get that person in your life that you just cherish every little thing about. What kind of a person would she be if she really did run from her feelings? What kind of..pitiful waste would she feel like if she just ran from someone who loved her equally..There was no way that Lexi could run from such an opportunity, such a risk. She had to start trusting people. She just didn't know how to trust in this day and age. Someone could literally cheat on you before you even knew that they were talking to someone. The day and age of modern technology makes life with another person terrifying. But Matt seemed so harmless..He seemed so calm, and chilled out all the time. Only really getting riled up when Lexi was there to be the instigator. So why was she having these dark thoughts? Why was she in such fear, you ask? Well even she was confused as to why the hell she was having them. Perhaps it was due to the fact that she had been made to look like a fool in the past by men, perhaps it was due to her track record of finding the one guy who slipped his way inside of her heart and then proceeded to tear it apart from the inside out. Lexi had the memories pinned to her brain like a badge of painful honor. She hadn't forgotten a single thing they had said to her..Too fat..Too skinny..Too dumb..All of it, angered her. The cruelty she had to endure was immeasurable for lack of better terms. Why did she even try, she wondered to herself in quiet moments. Why did she take her broken self and put all that pressure onto another person.

Well to make a long story short, she had no choice with Matt. The guy just wouldn't take the obvious hint. She tried to make him go away, putting the typical 'Resting Bliss Face' on in an effort to get him away from her heart. But he pried his way inside of it. Refusing to let her get away from him. Maybe this was why she was okay sometimes knowing how much he means to her, how much just in fact every little thing about him matters to her. Lexi was sitting inside of her little hot tub in the hotel spa area. She was all alone right now, just watching the bubbles come up from under the dark water. It was peculiar why the water was in fact so dark, but she hadn't thought much of it to be honest. She gently put her head back and rested it up against the padded area where your head was, well, supposed to rest. She didn't mind being alone, she kind of got used to it in recent years. Of course then there's Pam, who refused to let Lexi be alone if she knew it was going on. Luckily, at least so far, Pam wasn't here to slam her with a million questions. But, a guy was walking around behind her where she was relaxing. Hm. Weird, this is an odd time for another person to be waltzing around like this. Granted, she was too, but she had insomnia, it was common for Lexi to be up for hours on end after the sun had long since vanished into the sky. She paid no mind to the guy, maybe if she didn't make much movements, she wouldn't be recognized. Of course, she also was still on NXT..The way smaller show and there was a giant chance that her face wouldn't be recognized. Period. Or..at least she hoped so.

And on queue, the man walked passed the hot tub and looked down at her, "Hey there pretty lady..Why are you all alone out here like this? It's way too beautiful of a night for someone like you to be alone." Lexi immediately went on the defensive with this random ass guy, "Well my husband was tired, so he went to bed." She figured that if she dropped the husband bomb, he wouldn't try messing with her, even though they weren't married just yet. "Ohh, I see. Well. Still, someone like you shouldn't be alone like this. Need company?" The man was indeed just trying to be nice, but this was the most inappropriate time to try something like this. She grabbed her phone which rested on her towel just to the left and texted Pam, 'S.O.S. Hot tub, get here.' and set the phone back down. She knew that Pam and Fergal would both be..awake. And that if she needed backup, it was coming in the form of a silly, lovable hugger. "Honestly, I'm just here to be in the tub, no biggie. Thank you though." This was the nicest possible way that she could tell the guy to buzz off. She tried to keep her cool, but in this state, her fuse was extremely short and not really willing to be nice for much longer. "Okay beautiful, if you need company, or just someone to talk to..Then just stop by room. I'm in 404. Goodnight gorgeous." Why did this guy talking make her feel like someone was willing to understand her feelings..She couldn't possibly be considering this offer..I mean what the hell could a guy like this really have as advice? He was just a silly boy who was star struck by how pretty Lexi was, and more than likely just wanted to get inside her pants. Which, I shouldn't need to remind you. Would NEVER happen. She shook her head as the man left, "I'll think about it. Goodnight." And with that, the man disappeared and Lexi went back to resting her head on the comfortable area. Now she was alone with her thoughts, thinking of just why Matt tried so hard with her. Just why the hell he was so determined to get into her life and never leave. Why..Why was the question that in recent months kept her awake and unable to relax. Was it just for her looks? It..almost had to be. Her personality was as shattered as a broken window. It was insanity to think about, for it damn near drove her mad. She just wanted answers. She just wanted to figure out just why the hell people tried with her, she was hardly nice to people. She was hardly ever understanding with most people..There were a select few people that she was okay with, Lexi really was only cool cool with Pam, Rebecca..Fergal even. But Matt? He was one of those guys who refused, absolutely refused to be turned away by her attitude and past.

Almost on queue now, Pam rolled up wrapped up in an extremely comfortable looking bathrobe. She walked up to the tub and tapped Lexi on the top of the head, "Boop!" Pam dropped the robe to the ground, she was in a pink and white bikini that Lexi had gotten her the last time the friends vacationed to Hawaii. "Oh hey..You're wearing the thingy I got you." Lexi felt her heart warm up a bit, she was surprised that Pam even had it still. Especially with Fergal now, he more than likely snagged her some things, it was impressive that she even kept something like that. "Hell yes I kept this! It fits so snuggly and such. How can I not keep it?" Pam slowly descended into the pool and rested just across from Lexi. "What happened? Why did you need me down here so urgently..?" Pam was a tad bit curious as to what the urgent message was for. But she also knew she was going to get a half-assed answer until she pried it out of her. "Oh I just wanted some company. I would have texted Matt, but he fell asleep hours ago. And I knew you were with Fergie so..I texted you. Duh.." Lexi winked playfully at Pam, they both damn well knew why she was still awake at an hour like this. It went without saying.

Considering how Fergal and Pam had been dating for the first month now, and how powerful their feelings were for one another? It's no doubt that this kind of thing was going to have happened. Lexi was way too happy for her friend. She finally seemed to have found the one guy who wasn't going to just get with her and then drop her off away like a garbage bag. "So how is he? Is everything going well?" Lexi was curious and hopefully to take the pressure off of her own chest. Pam knew this was only to divert the attention off of her and hopefully to calm her own nerves. But Pam didn't protest this, she went right along with it and decided to be totally cool about the diversion. "He's great, probably the biggest nerd I've ever met in my entire life. But. I mean, I didn't want anything else, I wanted this. For so long..Honestly ever since I met him I've wanted him..In every single way possible. It's crazy to think that when I go to bed tonight, I get to curl up with him and just..rest." Pam was going on about this for what she felt like was a little..too long. But the woman was happy, she was just happy and pleased with her risk and the decision she made to let Fergal in on how she was feeling. That could have been disastrous for Pam. Such a risk came also at such a high price. Thank god it payed off. "But, why were you so like, get your ass down here, with me earlier? Seriously Lex. Just talk to me." Pam readjusted herself in the tub and looked at the tiny blonde woman just across from her. "Well. There was some cheeky guy who wanted to talk to me..Right? How just..Weird is that..He just wanted to talk to me..offered to go back to his room and stuff." Pam knew that he was full of it to be honest. There was no way that a random guy who saw Lexi would just want to talk. Especially when she's just sitting in a hot tub? All alone? No no, this guy had bad intentions written all over his words. "Whoa, that is weird. I'm glad you texted, but I'm sorry I couldn't get down here faster, y'know?" Lexi looked over at Pam and made a silly face, "Dude, I know why you couldn't get here faster, it's totally okay. I understand. Okay?" Pam was embarrassed, her cheeks lit up a bright crimson red as she was clearly busted, red handed. "Well crap. You caught me.." She smiled a little bit at her friend and giggled quietly. "But really. Uh I had to ask advice from you and..and I'm just so confused about it."

Pam was curious now. Lexi's mood had dropped down to a somber, quiet, walled up one. From her usually bubbly and bouncy self, down to a sliver of that self. "Yea of course you can ask me anything sweetheart. That's what these little guys are here for." Pam playfully flicked her ears, almost saying, 'Hey I listen you know.' She giggled at her own stupidity and the smile vanished rapidly after she noticed that Lexi wasn't having the joke all too well. "Sorry..Just trying to bump up the mood a bit..sorry.." Lexi looked over at Pam who clearly felt bad for what she thought was a bad timed joke and shook her head from side to side, "No no, it really is okay. I'm just in a poopy mood right now.." Lexi was battling inner demons, for lack of better terms. And there was no end in sight for how long this specific battle would actually last for. But then again, that was why Pam was her friend, she understood her in ways that not even family could. She got her, understood her.."What is it sweetheart. Please tell me, my goodness you look so sad! You're far too pretty to be this sad..Talk to me lovely. What has you twisted around like this.." Lexi listened to Pam just be Pam, a general sweetheart. She fought the urge to blurt out what was actually bothering her, when in reality it was Matt. It was indeed him all around that had her mind in a tizzy. "Well..you see. U-um..It.." "Go On..?" Pam quietly added after Lexi was struggling to speak. As she was just about to get it out of her system, she heard footsteps in the distance. Immediately she looked up and saw a familiar figure come from behind Pam. "M-Matt?"