The choice is Yours! (Interactive Story)

The home I never wanted to go to...

It was as if time had skipped a beat. I should have been able to actually remember what happened in the last couple of hours but my mind had just blanked. Maybe I tried something funny or not. Who knows... I definitely was out of my mind at the moment. We got to the doorstep and I was just there looking at the entrance where the hero had already gotten inside. It was looking a bit funny. A child looking this lost like me was definitely not belonging here or maybe I did because these were heroes. Ah who knows what was right and what was wrong but maybe I should be more optimistic instead of being just nothing at the moment. Neither an optimist nor a pesimist, neither trying something or giving up. As if nothing really matters, a lifeless puppet of some sort.

This was how I felt at the moment. I do remember that we said we would go to the cafe and I did had a bag in my hands with coffee and some cake but when did that happen? Did my memory fail me or was it my mind who didn't care and just realized that there was no escaping it anymore?

Eraserhead: We don't have any pets so don't worry about that and just come in.

It was this that finally snapped me out of the trance I had after I got back into the car. My mind, no the mind was a weird place.

Me: Ah yeah sorry.

Eraserhead: No need to be sorry. Want something warm to drink or anything?

Me: Some tea would be nice.

Eraserhead: Alright. Come with me, I'll show you the kitchen and the living room first and then everything else after a small break since we just got here.

Maybe it was me but this hero seemed to be very patient with me.  If it was me, I believe I would have left myself rot in the gutter for a very long time till there was no future time left for me. I mean why did he care soo much for me and even while I felt this empty, I still felt the warmth and everything he was offering. It was hard not too! Honestly! 

How was I supposed to ignore the hero?

How was I supposed to not see him trying his best?

The patient he was bringing up to and actually being with me no matter what stupid shit I was doing.

While I did not remember the last couple of minutes because my mind was trying to comprehend what just happened, I did remeber what did happen and this hero did care. He couldn't say he was not carrying and trying his best to get me on track at all. I might be depressed and suicidal as well as a sinner for life but I was not stupid.

I knew what was going on and right now I was confused about how to react or how I should feel.

Should I feel angry?

Should I feel scared?

Should I embrace it?

What was the thing I was supposed to do?

Smile and act as if nothing was wrong where he knew everything already? He just had to look at me. I would try it in a heartbeat. He said endure it but I was sure sooner or later I would break once again just as I was emotionally in the car. I saw my mother! I saw her physically being there! I saw the incident! And I heard her voice. 

While I was thinking in my head, I was following the hero through the hallway then the living room an then to the somehow open kitchen area where he let me sit down while he was preparing some tea for me. Before anything he had already put some cookies and small quick snacks right in front of me to take a bite of. I did since I felt like I should give one a try.

Though there was also the fact that I didn't know what to do right now at all.

Eraserhead: Tired?

Me: ....

Eraserhead: How about resting a bit?

Me: ... ah yeah... might be a good idea.

Eraserhead: Mic will be here later on he is in his radio studio right now.

I didn't ask for anything and zoomed out again while listening or not really listening to what Eraserhead was saying. Something told me he knew I was not listening but he was smiling at me from time to time and he was trying to include me in the talk.... though I felt just dead a bit the more I started to realize that I did see my mother in that car. She was dead and yet for a brief moment I saw her. Was I starting to go crazy? Was this a sign that I was done with everything? It made me worry and it made me stay silent for a long time.