Mother Earth // Bellamy Blake

Not Her • 122

Our small group around the table was discussing what to do next. They were saying something about leaving and just building our own compound at this point. Raven, Echo and Emori have been studying how to build a radiation shield like the one protecting Sanctum, they were to come back tomorrow.

I was spacing in and out of the conversation. I just stared at my hands, my fingernails nagging at my thumbs as they rested on the table. Clarke was sitting here with us and I couldn't get myself to look at her.

She was listening to everything we were saying and yet I couldn't get myself to speak up. I was mourning her and nobody else knew. I didn't know if I could get myself to tell them, to tell Madi.

I was able to snap out of it when the bickering began. Murphy was urging us to stay out of all of this. Clarke's voice was agreeing with him as well. I kept my eyes on my hands as I listened to Jordan and Gaia get a bit angrier.

"No offense," Murphy's voice made itself prominent in my ears. "But Becca wasn't a God either. She was a scientist who made herself a night blood in the lab the same way Abby did to Clarke."

My eyes immediately shot up and aggressively moved over to look at Clarke. She was staring right back at me, I swore I could see the smallest twitch of her lip go up into a smirk.

Murphy had said way too much and I could have prevented it all if I was just able to snap out of my trance. I didn't know how hard losing Clarke would hit me, it distracted me from acting on what I knew.

"Kota," I could feel Bellamy's eyes burning into the back of my head. I took away my eyes from Clarke without answering Bellamy. They landed on Jordan who was staring directly at Priya.

Jordan's leg was lightly bouncing and his face was tense. "Jordan," I said gently to hopefully make him not do what he was thinking of doing. But, a split second after I called his name, he got up.

Jordan marched over to Priya, Bellamy and Murphy jumped up immediately at his actions. Once he got in front of her, his face filled with grief. "I know what you did," his voice shook slightly.

At this point, Bellamy caught up with him and wrapped his arm's around Jordan's shoulders.

"Hey. Hey. Bad idea," Bellamy tried to get him to back down.

Jordan accepted the human restraints that held him, but he turned to Delilah's mom who was watching the whole thing. "How can you be okay? She was your child," Jordan stated in disbelief.

"I know you miss Delilah," Priya's hypnotic voice stepped in. "Hallowed be her name."

Once again there was the annoying ring of everyone repeating those words together. "But, she's happy Jordan. She wants you to know that," Priya concluded this outburst.

I watched as Bellamy and Murphy pulled him back over to our table. He sat down in a chair and I went to crouch down in front of him. He was devastated about what happened to Delilah, everything we learned about that process was disturbing.

"I'm so sorry, Jordan," I felt horrible about what he was feeling. But Jordan just stared past me without responding. I stood up and looked to see Clarke starting to walk away from our table. I whipped my head over to look at Bellamy, me not saying anything already hurt us.

I lifted my hands up to speak. 'That's not Clarke anymore,' I signed to him.

I saw his eyes narrow as his brain connected the dots. 'Stay here,' he moved his hands to tell me.

He ran off before I could even start arguing. I wanted to follow right after him, but I had to help with Jordan. Bellamy could handle this and Monty and Harper asked us to look after their boy. It was the least we could do for them.

As soon as I was able to calm Jordan down a bit, I left the building. I frantically looked outside where Bellamy had left from ten minutes ago. I couldn't see him anywhere.

"You there?" Reese voice came from next to me. He had an empty basket like he was going to help with the harvest. The suns were setting now.

I squeezed my eyes to get me out of my haze, "have you seen Bellamy anywhere?"

"Nope," Reese answered. "I'm supposed to meet Liam, he said to tell you to come with."

"No Reese," I rejected the offer quickly. "You're not going to go either."

"Dude, are you okay?" Reese took a few more steps closer to me, his face growing in confusion. He had no idea what was going on, I heard Jackson mention that Reese was in library with Abby sometimes to give Jackson the time to rest for a bit.

"Go in there and talk to Jordan. Tell him to catch you up on what's going on," I directed as nice, but stern, as possible. "I need to go find Bellamy."

"I can come with you," Reese offered, but I shook my head.

"I'll meet you guys as soon as I find him. It shouldn't be long," I downplayed my anxiety.

"Alright..." Reese hesitated to give me his agreement. I started my search at this point. I went building to building as sneaky as I could. Clarke already figured that I caught onto knowing that she wasn't actually Clarke. I could fight her, kill her even if I ran into her, but I didn't want to. What if there was a chance that we could still get the real Clarke back? So I stayed low, hid myself from everyone when I could and searched.