Mother Earth // Bellamy Blake

Aftermath • 138

"They should be back by now," Bellamy said gently as his loving hand rubbed my back. I was sitting on my knees beside the now filled whole we dug in the ground.

"You go, I just need a little longer," my voice was beyond soft.

"I'll stay with you," Bellamy said back to me. I could feel his eyes searching my face.

"No, I just need a minute," I rejected. Bellamy's hand removed itself from my shoulders.

"Okay," he whispered out as he stood up from his crouch. I stared at the grave in front of me while I heard his footsteps get further away.

Sanctum had a small graveyard behind the palace, Bellamy and I had laid Liam to rest here. Bellamy apologized to me several times while we dug into the ground no matter how many times I told him I understood, but I really didn't want to hear an apology. All I wanted was a second of silence.

We saw the transport ship come back to the ground, that's how he knew that the rest of our friends were back. I knew he was eager to make sure everyone else was okay, so I wasn't going to make him sit around with me while they returned.

Burying Liam made me realize that he didn't have a very big support system. He was single with no kids. Two of his friends who he worked with in the fields came to help dig and they paid their respects, but no one else from Sanctum seemed soul crushed by his departure. It made me even more sad in a way, at least his legacy would have been carried on if he had family.

Liam didn't want to hurt me, he was a kind man with a heart filled with prosperity. That damn toxin was at fault for this, Russell was at fault for this. If he just didn't set off that bomb, none of his people would be dead.

My moment to myself came to an end as someone familiar came up next to me. I squinted as I look up to see who it was, the suns were shining extra bright. Reese bent down to lay a small bundle of flowers on top of Liam's grave. The flowers he picked reminded me of my mother's grave, when Miller and his father were standing there to tell me what happened to her.

Reese picked light blue flowers, similar composition but not exactly the same flower placed to honor my mom. He sighed as he took a seat next to me, resting his forearms on his propped up knees.

"I ran into Bellamy," he finally spoke, his tone sounded down.

"So he told you what happened," I stated back to him without moving my eyes away from the flowers.

"No, just where you were," Reese responded. I nodded slowly, trying to figure out how to explain what went down. Reese gave me time to think about what words to pick by beginning to tell me a story of his own. "We lost Abby."

This got me to finally break my stare and move it onto him. I knew the confusion and sorrow in my eyes were evident, I could feel it tense up my forehead.

Reese kept his stare where mine previously was while he explained, "they were taking bone marrow from Madi to make more hosts. She was weak and they wanted more, Madi was at a point where she would die if they did another extraction. Abby stepped in and injected herself to get them the rest of the doses. Russell took it as an opportunity to get his wife back. Clarke made sure Simone didn't get another chance to live her millionth life with her mom's body."

My heart broke for Clarke and my soul twisted with empathy for her. Losing a mother is gut wrenching pain, I knew how that felt. After I lost my mom, my mind was a mess. I only wished that Clarke would be able to make peace with it one day, but I didn't know if that was possible myself. I still thought about my parents constantly and prayed for their help even though they wouldn't be able to give it to me.

"Liam tried to kill me when Russell released Red Sun toxin in the air here," I exposed. I felt a tear roll down as Reese turned his head to look at me. His shoulders were relaxed and his eyes drooped from exhaustion. "Bellamy killed him before he could. We tried so hard to avoid having to kill anyone, but it just happened I guess."

Reese just gave me a small nod and said nothing. After a quiet moment, he moved his arms to wrap around me. I accepted the hug with a deep breath, I didn't know how much I was dreading to tell Reese about Liam until now. Liam and Reese were friends too, I didn't want him to hate me because of this incident.

I stayed in the hug for as long as I needed to, so did Reese. When we finally pulled apart I spoke up again, "we should go back to our friends."

"Bellamy said something about you guys going with Gabriel," Reese brought up. "I'm going to come with you."

"You don't have to," I tried to tell him.

"No, I want to. This place just gives me too much of a weird vibe," Reese stood up tp his feet. He reached a hand out to help me up, which I took. I've come to realize that Reese definitely carried around his own slang.

"Makes sense," I drew my hand back after I got to my feet.

We walked the short path back to the center of Sanctum, I could see Jordan up and about. He was talking to some people that were from here.

"I'll catch up," I said as I departed Reese. All he did was give me a lazy wave in return. I put my hand lightly on Jordan's shoulder as I got to him. "Hey, Jordan."

He turned to me and his expression played exactly what his emotions were. He was hurt, disappointed and regretful and his eyes were so sad.

"Are you okay?" I asked him as he faced me.

"Better than some," Jordan nodded his head over to the few bodies covered with sheets on the ground.

"Come with me, our friends are back from space," I tried to tell him some good news.

"I know," he revealed. "I saw the ship. You go ahead I'm going to help clean up our mess."

I felt my face drop, even though I didn't think my expression could fall even more. I don't know why, but his words just gave me a rush of overwhelming emotions. I unwillingly started to have tears gush out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry about Priya. I just tried to tell them the truth," my voice was so small.

"Sanctum wasn't perfect, but these people had peace before we got here," Jordan spoke calmly. He reminded me so much of his father, Monty taught Jordan peace in his childhood. My parents did the same with me on the Ark. I never thought anythings was wrong when I was a little girl, even though the Ark was filled with life and death problems. My parents allowed me to have that feeling of safety and eventually Bellamy has too in a way. It made me think that real peace was just being oblivious to what was really happening.

"My dad always spoke highly of you," Jordan started speaking again. "He always said how good your heart was. He taught me a bunch of stuff about Earth and always said that he learned it from you. He always reminded me about how 'she gave us Bear as a gift, let him be by her' when I tried to get him to sleep in my bed instead of by your pod. I know you more than you think because of my parents, I know this kind of stuff haunts you."

I didn't expect him to say all of this. All I could think of doing was pulling Jordan into an embrace, I wanted him to know how much I appreciated him. Hearing about Monty talking about me in this way settled something in me. Jordan returned the brief hug and held it for a moment.

There was one more hug I really needed to give out today. As I turned away from Jordan, I looked for bright hair. She spotted me the same time I found her. I approached Clarke, but said nothing. I just wrapped my arms around her body. I could feel her crying against me as she moved her arms to hug me.

Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of losing a loving parent, even if you've lost the other one before. She needed to know that she's not alone in feeling this kind of grief.