PEAKY BLINDERS IMAGINES

John Shelby - 'Time 3'

"Y/N, it is good to have you back at our meetings once more." Tommy smiled as soon as the meeting had ended.

John continued to watch you as he stood on the other side of the room.

"I am glad to be back Tommy." You breathe out a smile, turning to look at John as Tommy walked away. John's look to you gives you shivers and makes you love the man a million times more.

Esme stood up and looked to you, walking closer towards you.

"I don't believe we have properly met" She fake smiles, putting her hand out for you.

Timidly, you put her hand in yours and pulled you as though she was hugging you. You let out a groan as she pulled your arm harshly. John saw this and watched very carefully, not wanting to cause trouble - besides, he could see you were okay; not in pain.

"Stay away from John" She growls in your ears and your eyes lock with John's. "He may pretend he wants you, but trust me, he wouldn't want a stupid slut like you."

You say nothing but pushes her back from you, rubbing your sore wrist.

"Please spare me the lecture" You shake your head. "I won't get involved with childish behaviour."

"You weren't saying that when you were fucking my husband!" She shouts and your eyes widen, John comes over to you both and stands beside you.

"Esme, Stop." He snaps, looking at his wife with a stern face.

"I hope he has told you." She looks to you, ignoring John.

You did not know what she was going to say and it scared you stiff. Whatever she was going to say, would potentially destroy what you had with John.

"Esme-" John begins but she laughs, cutting him off.

"So he hasn't." She scoffs, mockingly snickering. "I am pregnant. We are going to have another baby."

You froze in your spot.

"So I suggest, you go back to where you came from." She snaps.

You bolted outside the room, going to the bathroom to throw up. It was the sickness and the thought of you never being with the man you loved the most.

"Let me in" John calls through the door.

You refused to talk, because you were throwing up. John became more worried as he stood outside the door.

"Y/N, sweetheart let me in" He begs.

"No John" You cough out, crying because you hated being sick and because you wanted John more than anything.

"Gorgeous, let me in" He calm-fully whispers, leaning his head on the door. You reached over to the lock, twisting it so he could come in.

He came in and saw you over the toilet, refusing to look at him.

"Why are you hiding your face?" He asks, and you continue to look away. Standing up, you wash your face with water and rinse your mouth out to get the taste away.

"Because I look like what I just threw up" You smile, turning back to face him.

"You look beautiful" He whispers, pulling you into his chest. "So beautiful"

"John, what is going to happen?" You frown, shaking your head.

"Truthfully, I do not know." He whispers and rubs his thumb on your cheek.

"That is not good enough." You shook your head.

"What do you want me to do?" He huffs and groans as he looks to you.

"I want you to actually be a man and tell me what is going to happen." You snap and he steps back in anger.

"Don't be like that Y/N" He snaps back and you huff, rolling your eyes. "You know I love you."

"You have a funny way of showing it!" You snap, but instantly regret it.

"I want to be with you, I really do sweetheart." He sighs. "But I dont know how to change it, without repercussions."

"I know, I really do." You sighed and leant your head on his chest.

"I love you, please tell me you know that?" He begs and you look up to him.

"I do and I love you so much." You smiled and kissed his lips, for one last time.

*

You packed your bags and got everything ready to take the train tonight, going to London to live with your best friend. You wanted John to have a life and not suffer consequences for his actions in following his heart.

Writing a letter, you posted it through Johns door before you got into the taxi and to the train station.

The letter said:

Dear my beloved John,

You have no idea how hard it has been, for me to write this letter. I want to start off by saying how much I love you and how I will never forget you.

It is best if I went away and allowed you to live your life, instead of me ruining it and making you have to choose.

I really do love you John and never think I dont. You mean the world to me and I will never forget you, nor the times that we shared together. You are my soul mate and the man I will never stop loving.

I know you will be angry and upset, possibly never wanting to hear my name again, but it is for the best. John, please do not follow me or try to find me; live your life without me. You did it once and you can do it again.

I love you more than you ever know.

Yours truly,

Y/N x

I killed you to write that letter and to leave behind the man you would never forget. Getting on the train, you refused to look out. You did not want to back out of what you wanted to do, to start fresh and to forget everything. However, you knew you would never forget.

Everything seemed to bring you back to him. Everything you saw and did, reminded you of John. Closing your eyes, you physically moved away from Small Heath once more. However, mentally, it was pretty much impossible.